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Anyone Else Have Bridesmaids That They Don't Really Want?


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#11 calgarybride2015

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Posted 16 September 2014 - 10:08 AM

Sorry you are all going thru this!  Thankfully I got lucky with my bridesmaids (I did have one sister say no), but the high school drama with 'so called' friends is more than enough for me. I'd be in a looney bin if I had to deal with this too.

 

Sometimes my BMs give an answer of 'whatever you like, all options are good' which drives me nuts as I am indecisive but I understand where they are coming from. I just like firm answers ha!


Edited by calgarybride2015, 16 September 2014 - 10:09 AM.

-Kim

Married on 2015/01/21 at the Grand Sirenis Riviera Maya with 43 guests in attendance   :)

 

Planning Thread - http://www.bestdesti...s-riviera-maya/

 

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#12 Mrsktobe

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Posted 16 September 2014 - 12:44 PM

Sorry you are all going thru this!  Thankfully I got lucky with my bridesmaids (I did have one sister say no), but the high school drama with 'so called' friends is more than enough for me. I'd be in a looney bin if I had to deal with this too.
 
Sometimes my BMs give an answer of 'whatever you like, all options are good' which drives me nuts as I am indecisive but I understand where they are coming from. I just like firm answers ha!


I'm already on my way to the looney bin. That, or the liquor store for wine LOL

#13 tygrrlily

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Posted 16 September 2014 - 02:39 PM

That was very nice of you to ask your SIL!  I definitely think you should have who you want up there with you - not people just out of politeness.  I only asked my 2 best friends to be co-mohs, and one isn't coming now because of pregnancy.  Some people are telling me I should "replace" her to "fill in the numbers," but I really don't care much.  I'm going to leave it to later to see if I want to ask someone else or not (I alrady have the dresses purchased)

 

Personally I've been a bridesmaid/moh 4 times now, and have dealt with so much drama on the other side.  I think that's why I don't ask my bridesmaid much in terms of helping w/ the actual wedding.  They had a Bach. for me and they're going to have a shower - other than that, I just want them to show up the day of the wedding. I haven't asked them to spend time helping me assemble oot bags or passports or anything because it'd honestly be not worth the hassle and I'd rather just do it myself then have to listen to complaints/moaning.


Married December 19, 2014 at Beach Palace Resort in Cancun, Mexico

 

My Planning Thread - http://www.bestdesti...-resort-121914/

 

My Wedding Review

Part 1 - http://www.bestdesti...1914/?p=1881197

Part 2 - http://www.bestdesti...1914/?p=1881590

Part 3 - http://www.bestdesti...1914/?p=1881861

 


#14 calgarybride2015

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Posted 16 September 2014 - 02:45 PM

I also agree. I think people should ask who they want, not who they think they should to be polite :)
I'd say it may cause less drama but I know better lol


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Edited by calgarybride2015, 16 September 2014 - 02:46 PM.

-Kim

Married on 2015/01/21 at the Grand Sirenis Riviera Maya with 43 guests in attendance   :)

 

Planning Thread - http://www.bestdesti...s-riviera-maya/

 

Wedding Pictures http://www.bestdesti...ra-maya/page-36

 

Wedding Review http://www.bestdesti...31#entry1885600

 

 


#15 TinkerSofi

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Posted 16 September 2014 - 08:09 PM

That was very nice of you to ask your SIL!  I definitely think you should have who you want up there with you - not people just out of politeness.  I only asked my 2 best friends to be co-mohs, and one isn't coming now because of pregnancy.  Some people are telling me I should "replace" her to "fill in the numbers," but I really don't care much.  I'm going to leave it to later to see if I want to ask someone else or not (I alrady have the dresses purchased)

 

Personally I've been a bridesmaid/moh 4 times now, and have dealt with so much drama on the other side.  I think that's why I don't ask my bridesmaid much in terms of helping w/ the actual wedding.  They had a Bach. for me and they're going to have a shower - other than that, I just want them to show up the day of the wedding. I haven't asked them to spend time helping me assemble oot bags or passports or anything because it'd honestly be not worth the hassle and I'd rather just do it myself then have to listen to complaints/moaning.

I'm the same way as you. I haven't really asked anything of my MOH's, well one is in Argentina so she can't help me with a lot over here although I know she wishes she could. The other one is up to her eyebrows between school work trying to finish up her degree and work so I don't want to pile more stuff up on her. I've been doing most things on my own or with my mom and I really don't mind :). I did go with my Canadian MOH to pick out my dress and it was fun/awesome but I really don't expect much from them. Maybe once we're at the resort it would be nice if they could help me out with the final details. So far so good and no drama, but that's why I wanted a really small bridal party. I really shouldn't jinx it haha!! 



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#16 tygrrlily

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Posted 17 September 2014 - 09:24 AM

@TinkerSofi - My mom has been helping me out a ton too! More than my FI to be honest


Married December 19, 2014 at Beach Palace Resort in Cancun, Mexico

 

My Planning Thread - http://www.bestdesti...-resort-121914/

 

My Wedding Review

Part 1 - http://www.bestdesti...1914/?p=1881197

Part 2 - http://www.bestdesti...1914/?p=1881590

Part 3 - http://www.bestdesti...1914/?p=1881861

 


#17 TinkerSofi

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Posted 17 September 2014 - 09:37 AM

@TinkerSofi - My mom has been helping me out a ton too! More than my FI to be honest


Same here! Haha


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#18 calgarybride2015

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Posted 17 September 2014 - 10:37 AM

Fiancé will help if I ask 3-4 times lol. Mainly do it alone. Or ask a BM or friend when I need a second opinion.


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-Kim

Married on 2015/01/21 at the Grand Sirenis Riviera Maya with 43 guests in attendance   :)

 

Planning Thread - http://www.bestdesti...s-riviera-maya/

 

Wedding Pictures http://www.bestdesti...ra-maya/page-36

 

Wedding Review http://www.bestdesti...31#entry1885600

 

 


#19 TheBHolders

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Posted 18 September 2014 - 08:14 AM

I personally would not have asked sis in law, unless you guys are really close. I am including his 2 sisters as bridesmaids and my brother will be one of his groomsmen and we are leaving it at that. In laws are not a shoe in to be in the bridal party, even some relatives can be excluded. His sisters spouse is not in our wedding because he is just that, his sister's spouse. We have no other history. Don't feel bad about not including everyone. Your bridal party should be those who you have relied on in the darkest and happiest of all hours.


So far 79 adult guests + bride and groom + 13 kids = 164 room nights. Focused on planning without stressing.

 


 
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#20 helenk

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Posted 18 September 2014 - 01:52 PM

I hate when I read stuff like this because weddings are supposed to be happy occasions and people should not be ruining it for the couple!

We decided against having a bridal party for this very reason! He has 4 brothers and 4 best friends and I didn't have the numbers to come close to his, lol. I was stressing over adding people to balance it out and I didn't want to do that. So to avoid drama and stress we opted out.

Good luck to everyone though! I say to confront the people being douchy....sometimes people don't know how they come off to others until you confront them.


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