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RSVP Timeframe????


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#41 KK2013

KK2013
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Posted 31 July 2013 - 11:05 AM

Originally Posted by MrsTobeD 

I really thought about having the RSVP by March, I am an August 2014 bride, and I really want to know how many OOT bags I need to make, I am not in a situation to be making more just in case, I figure if people are going to go, they will know when they receive their STD's, is not like they will sit and think, oh, can I go? do I have something else so do in a year? My STD are going out this weekend. 

 

I send RSVP's back the minute they come in my mailbox, so I don't know why people wouldn't do the same, come on, you know if you are going to attend or not, being lazy/rude and postponing a reply "just because" is something else. 

 

I do foresee that inconveniences happen and I could get a couple of cancellations but I really need to know how many people are coming before I start making myself crazy with tons of DIY that I will never use. Lets say, booking a DJ, is something I will only do if I have enough people so just and ipod will not suffice, so yes, I need to book the DJ at least 6 months in advance, how do I do this if I don't know how many people are coming? 

 

The reason STD's for a wedding go out at least a year in advance is so people can plan accordingly and decide if they are going to be able to afford it and/or want to attend. So if I go through all the work of being ready, sending things ahead of time, holding rooms down with my own money, why can they reply 5/6 months in advance? A vacation is not something that you decide the day before you go.

 

If people are going to wait 2 days before the RSVP date to do it, then let that be 5 months in advance so I can plan. 


Totally agree.  One piece of advice I can give is, do yourself a favor and whenever you decide to send them, don't give people too much time to decide.  I sent mine at the end of May, and gave until August 1st.  I figured everyone would send them right away.  WRONG.  I still have 67 to come in, and the due date is tomorrow.  Giving them months only allowed them to procrastinate and stick it at the bottom of the pile.  I also think a lot of people who were no's waited to respond because they felt bad and now have forgotten.  This will be a long list of people to contact.  Another point...I invited a lot of people thinking "why not invite everyone so no one is left out.  they won't come anyway".   But, I neglected to realize how much of a toll it would take on me to receive 2 no's per day, every day.  It felt a little depressing =(  Might have been better to get them all in month and rip the bandaid off quickly!



#42 MrsTobeD

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    Posted 31 July 2013 - 11:24 AM

    OMG, I hear you, I imagine how though is to receive the no's...

     

    I am sending out 50 STD, not more, I assume I will get 15 yes, I HOPE, and it would be about 40-50 people for our wedding, I don't think i can handle 100 guest at a destination wedding, my eng. party was 96 and I was going nuts, there is people I don't even recall seeing, and they were there, I knew after seen the pictures. I got the feeling as how a wedding feels since I and my FH were being pulled form all angles to say hi, I am happy we danced some through the night, I forced him to come in the dance floor and then someone will come and get him or me and someone will have to step on the dance floor so I am not dancing alone. CRAZY. 

     

    And I get your point, people might feel bad about saying no and then just misplace the invitations since they were not planning on going to start with, I am so trying to avoid this, I am not going to chase anyone for RSVP's, whomever forgets, it did. 

     

    And I am actually debating some about sending out all 50 STD, I feel there is people that cant afford it (they are older and/or have very low paying jobs) so I feel guilty and heartless inviting them.

     

     

    Originally Posted by KK2013 


    Totally agree.  One piece of advice I can give is, do yourself a favor and whenever you decide to send them, don't give people too much time to decide.  I sent mine at the end of May, and gave until August 1st.  I figured everyone would send them right away.  WRONG.  I still have 67 to come in, and the due date is tomorrow.  Giving them months only allowed them to procrastinate and stick it at the bottom of the pile.  I also think a lot of people who were no's waited to respond because they felt bad and now have forgotten.  This will be a long list of people to contact.  Another point...I invited a lot of people thinking "why not invite everyone so no one is left out.  they won't come anyway".   But, I neglected to realize how much of a toll it would take on me to receive 2 no's per day, every day.  It felt a little depressing =(  Might have been better to get them all in month and rip the bandaid off quickly!



    #43 MrsTobeD

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      Posted 31 July 2013 - 11:27 AM

      I wouldn't send them before her wedding, is going to be very overwhelming for family members and relatives, wait for hers, let them have fun and then when they get yours they will realize how fun it will be to do it all over again. 

      Originally Posted by zeman321 

      Question for all of you....how far in advance did you send your save the dates? Our wedding is Oct. 25, 2014 and I just ordered save the dates. I will be moving to another state in Aug. or Sept. and really kinda wanted to grt these done before then, but my FH's sister is having a DW in Oct. of this year and I don't want to send them out before her wedding if it will make her uncomfortable. Should I just wait until we get back from her wedding? Would it bother you if you were her? Any advice would be appreciated.



      #44 KK2013

      KK2013
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      • Wedding Date:December 7, 2013
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      • LocationNew Jersey

      Posted 31 July 2013 - 11:31 AM

      Originally Posted by MrsTobeD 

      OMG, I hear you, I imagine how though is to receive the no's...

       

      I am sending out 50 STD, not more, I assume I will get 15 yes, I HOPE, and it would be about 40-50 people for our wedding, I don't think i can handle 100 guest at a destination wedding, my eng. party was 96 and I was going nuts, there is people I don't even recall seeing, and they were there, I knew after seen the pictures. I got the feeling as how a wedding feels since I and my FH were being pulled form all angles to say hi, I am happy we danced some through the night, I forced him to come in the dance floor and then someone will come and get him or me and someone will have to step on the dance floor so I am not dancing alone. CRAZY. 

       

      And I get your point, people might feel bad about saying no and then just misplace the invitations since they were not planning on going to start with, I am so trying to avoid this, I am not going to chase anyone for RSVP's, whomever forgets, it did. 

       

      And I am actually debating some about sending out all 50 STD, I feel there is people that cant afford it (they are older and/or have very low paying jobs) so I feel guilty and heartless inviting them.

       

       


      I sent STDs to everyone on my list (which was 130 invitations) a year prior, so they knew whether they were coming or not.  I definitely should have made the time shorter.  All in all, we will have about 60-70 guests, which I feel is more than enough, and will keep me plenty preoccupied =)  The thing that is most driving me nuts is that I planned the RSVP date around the fact that we are going for a planning visit on August 10th and thought I would have a headcount by then, but now it's looking like I won't!  Plus wanting to get shopping on OOT bag contents! 



      #45 MrsTobeD

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        Posted 31 July 2013 - 11:54 AM

        Why don't you go with the number you have and add 15 extra ppl just in case, even though at this point, and being that your wedding is around the holidays, you might not even get that many more. 60-70 guest is not a bad number. 

         

        If you gave an RSVP date before August 10th and people have not RSVP'ed just count them out. 

         

        Originally Posted by KK2013 


        I sent STDs to everyone on my list (which was 130 invitations) a year prior, so they knew whether they were coming or not.  I definitely should have made the time shorter.  All in all, we will have about 60-70 guests, which I feel is more than enough, and will keep me plenty preoccupied =)  The thing that is most driving me nuts is that I planned the RSVP date around the fact that we are going for a planning visit on August 10th and thought I would have a headcount by then, but now it's looking like I won't!  Plus wanting to get shopping on OOT bag contents! 



        #46 KK2013

        KK2013
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        Posted 31 July 2013 - 12:43 PM

        Originally Posted by MrsTobeD 

        Why don't you go with the number you have and add 15 extra ppl just in case, even though at this point, and being that your wedding is around the holidays, you might not even get that many more. 60-70 guest is not a bad number. 

         

        If you gave an RSVP date before August 10th and people have not RSVP'ed just count them out. 

         


        Yea, I hear you.  My biggest issue is that I don't want to buy even ten extra OOT bags worth of stuff because each one is going to cost around $25.  Every little bit adds up =)  I guess I will have to just take a guess like you said and go from there.  Thanks!



        #47 MrsTobeD

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          Posted 31 July 2013 - 12:56 PM

          When I said go with extra 10-15 I really didn't think about the OOT bags, forget about that! 

          Originally Posted by KK2013 


          Yea, I hear you.  My biggest issue is that I don't want to buy even ten extra OOT bags worth of stuff because each one is going to cost around $25.  Every little bit adds up =)  I guess I will have to just take a guess like you said and go from there.  Thanks!



          #48 zeman321

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            Posted 31 July 2013 - 02:30 PM

            How far out did everyone send their invitations? We are sending STD's In Oct. for an Oct.2014 wedding, but can't figure out when is appropriate to send the invitations. Then how long did you give people to RSVP? I know that if they book through our TA they have until Sept. 1 to pay in full. I want to get the invites out early enough that those that need to make payments have time to do that, but I don't want to send them so early that people forget about them. Arrrgggghhhh.....Why does it have to be so complicated? 



            #49 MrsTobeD

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              Posted 31 July 2013 - 05:13 PM

              I am sending STD this and next week and I think the invitations are going out in 2-3 months, latest December and I want RSVP 5-6 months for my August 2014 wedding.

              How far out did everyone send their invitations? We are sending STD's In Oct. for an Oct.2014 wedding, but can't figure out when is appropriate to send the invitations. Then how long did you give people to RSVP? I know that if they book through our TA they have until Sept. 1 to pay in full. I want to get the invites out early enough that those that need to make payments have time to do that, but I don't want to send them so early that people forget about them. Arrrgggghhhh.....Why does it have to be so complicated? 



              #50 KK2013

              KK2013
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              • LocationNew Jersey

              Posted 01 August 2013 - 04:10 AM

              Originally Posted by zeman321 

              How far out did everyone send their invitations? We are sending STD's In Oct. for an Oct.2014 wedding, but can't figure out when is appropriate to send the invitations. Then how long did you give people to RSVP? I know that if they book through our TA they have until Sept. 1 to pay in full. I want to get the invites out early enough that those that need to make payments have time to do that, but I don't want to send them so early that people forget about them. Arrrgggghhhh.....Why does it have to be so complicated? 


              My wedding is December of this year.  I sent STD's right before Christmas last year.  Invitations went out end of May, RSVP August 1st.  55 still to come in!  I would give people a month to RSVP MAX especially since you are sending STD's.  If you give them too long, they wait until the last minute and forget about them.






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