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jamie1519

Mother vs. All-Inclusive

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i had a similar dilemna and ended up going for a regular hotel. i originally wanted to get married at a resort in the riviera maya, but soon found out that most were all inclusives and pretty expensive (especially since my guests aren't big drinkers) and the other boutique like hotels were really expensive. knowing that we were going to have a reahearsal dinner, wedding reception and 2 brunches, i felt like it made a lot more sense for us to host our guests, especially since they are paying so much already to get there and for lodging. i also really want people to explore cancun, go diving and on tours and not feel attached to the hotel for the included food, although some people will want to sit at the beach with their maragrata all day.

i just got back from my site visit and we have ended up picking a hotel in cancun, and i am so excited...for me it is perfect! and the rates are a lot better in cancun. but, it is a personal decision and you really can't go wrong...either way your guests are going to have a blast!

remember to ask how much day passes are for your guests that stay at other hotels! good luck!

~lauren

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I couldn't agree with the comments shared by most. My mom wasn't to big on the idea of a DW at all, let alone an AI. It seems they have the traditional weddings in their minds and its hard to convert them. Have you had any luck convincing her that its a good idea? Once I compared what we were spending for the DW vs. having it at home, she understood very quickly ;-)

 

Of course they all say its going to cut down on the people that can attend and the gifts you receive. And I just tell her, YES, and we're ok with that, so she should be too ;-)

 

Good luck.

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Originally Posted by wade2893 View Post
I couldn't agree with the comments shared by most. My mom wasn't to big on the idea of a DW at all, let alone an AI. It seems they have the traditional weddings in their minds and its hard to convert them. Have you had any luck convincing her that its a good idea? Once I compared what we were spending for the DW vs. having it at home, she understood very quickly ;-)

Of course they all say its going to cut down on the people that can attend and the gifts you receive. And I just tell her, YES, and we're ok with that, so she should be too ;-)

Good luck.
I recently found out that when we announced the DW idea, one reason FMIL was against it was that she was mad people would feel like they don't have to give the same amount of gifts. The kicker is she wasnt worried about us, she was pissed that she had spent all this money going to her friends' childrens' weddings... weddings bring out the best in people.

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See, I don't even understand that. A wedding is a wedding. I give gifts according to my level of involvement with the people getting married, not based on the amount of money they spent. For instance, I give my BF's $xxx, as a standard. Then other friends always receive $xxx. I don't give more just b/c someone had it at a reallllly nice place or less b/c someone had it at the local banquet hall. So I am not really concerned with the level of gifts received - we will receive what people feel they want to give. But I am not sure why people would think to give us less for a DW then for a traditional wedding. Sorry for rambling, but sometimes it just doesn't make sense!

 

People just don't understand a thing about DW's! (Honestly, I don't think I did before either!!)

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Galit View Post
I recently found out that when we announced the DW idea, one reason FMIL was against it was that she was mad people would feel like they don't have to give the same amount of gifts. The kicker is she wasnt worried about us, she was pissed that she had spent all this money going to her friends' childrens' weddings... weddings bring out the best in people.

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I was pressured out of an AI resort by some of my family members because everyone's initial assumption that it's too expensive for the guests and that the guests would feel like they are paying for the wedding food/drink. After being on this forum I wish I had stuck to my guns!!!! I am very happy with what we're doing now, but I still wish I hadn't been pressured....don't give in!

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Your mom just has the old school mentality. As others have pointed out, a guests attendance is not required. They have the option of choosing if this works for them and declining if it doesn't.

 

Just because something is an AI it doesn't mean it's cost free either. We are having a welcome dinner at our AI and still have to pay $30 per head for the dinner. You will still pay for the guests meals if you choose to do a private event.

 

Your guests will thank you if you go for an AI. All my guests keep saying that they love the fact that everything is already paid for. No hidden costs so they can have a worry-free trip.

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One other item about AI vs non AI.

 

It seems like almost every family has a set of relatives or friends that are better off than the rest and then there are also the show off's who like to throw the money around. An AI levels the playing field, everyone receives the same package of activities, food & beverages. It makes everyone feel more comfortable and thus have a better, relaxed time!

 

TA Jennifer

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Originally Posted by TA Jennifer View Post
One other item about AI vs non AI.

It seems like almost every family has a set of relatives or friends that are better off than the rest and then there are also the show off's who like to through the money around. An AI levels the playing field, everyone receives the same package of activities, food & beverages. It makes everyone feel more comfortable and thus have a better, relaxed time!

TA Jennifer
Good point. No one has to feel left out as the other guests with more money are ordering better food/alcohol etc.

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