Originally Posted by moodyc82
Ladies......I was a complete bridezilla last night.....and I think it is spreading into today as well. I need to vent a bit.....My FI's father is a worthless drunk. In the 3.5yrs we've dated he has never been around and my FI doesn't have a relationship with him. When my FI graduated the police academy this scum didn't show up b/c my FI didn't call him on his birthday......oh I'm sorry, but it was 3days before he graduated and passing the academy was a little bit more important. Moving on......so that christmas he decided to take Roy and his brother out to dinner and gave him a check for like $200 for a "graduation present". OK.....so that was 2011......now we never have really had contact with him since. We got engaged March 16th, Roy called his father to tell him we are engaged.....his father decided he wanted to take us out to dinner to celebrate our engagement. Well, this was April 4th I believe that we went (first saturday in April) and we are sitting in the parking lot of the restaurant waiting for his worthless father when we suddenly get a call from him (mind you it's 5pm). He calls and says he's lost........we immediately knew he was drunk b/c we were at the restaurant they always go to for the last 30yrs.......well, Roy gives him directions. 10mins later his father calls again that he's been in an accident.....at this point he is SO intoxicated that he can't even tell us where he is. Well every min for 15mins this SOB kept calling us asking when we will get there.....well we tell him to put a cop on the phone and he does and we find out where he is (literally 5mins from the restaurant). We go and there's 3 cop cars and a motorcycle cop and the damn women he hit. Well get this, this SOB hit this women at a light, and than drove 5miles away trying to escape......Well, it would of helped if he didn't leave his damn liscence plate at the scene of the accident!!!!!!! So, all he keeps asking Roy is "what are you going to do for me". Well, he gets arrested after failing the test, IN FRONT OF US. We end up having to call his brother to go sign him out b/c Roy can't because of his job and I can't b/c I'm his future wife. Well, lets just say they did this man a HUGE favor as far as not throwing the book at him. 3hrs after they arrest him they made him blow.....he blew a .30........3hrs later!???!!!~?! So we have to drive him home b/c they impounded his car....so the whole ride home he acts like nothing is wrong....and that now we're going to have to be a taxi service to him........They take him to court on that Monday and he gets his lis. taken away for 7months and when he gets it back he has to have the machine put in his car to have it be able to start when he blows in it........WELL, the next day while he's at work his mother (roy's grandma) (96yrs old) falls down the stairs and breaks her hip, shoulder, and leg. So now this SOB expects us to drive him back and fourth to the hospital every single day (they're 40mins from us). This went on until she finally died on June 15th......Now on father's day Roy decided to be the bigger person and call him, well the father wants to go out to dinner......we go and this SOB has a siezure at the diner b/c he didn't drink for 8hrs.....we rush him to the hospital and he tells the doctors and everyone else he doesn't drink......seriously?! So I left the room, not sure what was said to him by Roy and his brother but I know whatever it was it was harsh. Well, he was released the next day and given detox drugs and asked for us to go to dinner.....do you see a patern here? I never actually get to eat the dinner I'm invited to.......well, he acts like NOTHING happened. Nothing.....the doctor told him he is dying b/c of the drinking and he pretends like nothing is wrong.......I have not seen the man since. And since March I said he was uninvited to the wedding, that I'm not babysitting him in another country and I'm not having my wedding day ruined. Well, yesterday my FI was with his mother (ugh another long story, MONSTER-in-law) and she tells him he's actually been sober and that maybe we should think about inviting him.....girls I lost it.....I mean absolutely lost it and flipped out and said I didn't care if he was the king of Prussia and had a check for $2million dollars that I did not want him there and if he wanted him there than we are calling off the destination wedding and we'll go get married in Vegas.....I just can't deal with him being at the wedding with the thought of unlimited alchol around and available 24/7.....am I being an ass?
Trust me I totally get what you are saying and of course nobody wants their wedding ruined or to even have the thought that a guest let alone a parent would ruin the wedding. However, at the end of the day that is your FI's father and in turn will become your father. If it wasn't for that drunk, you would not be marrying the love of your life. My father also has a drinking problem and has put my family through hell all 35 years of my life.....but NEVER in a million years would I not invite him to share in the most important day of my life because of his unsavory behavior. All I can say is that if you do not get along with your FI's parents and hold so much disgust in your heart, that is not a good sign and sooner or later it's going to affect your marriage in a negative way. In my opinion I think you should give your FFIL the opportunity to share in his sons special day or let your FI make the final decision and stand by whatever that decision may be. Just my opinion....or when all else fells make a pina colada!!!!