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Any other 2014 brides here getting an early start?


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#3491 niknic456

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    Posted 05 August 2013 - 11:12 AM

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by moodyc82 

    Same exact boat here.....my father is deceased and my mother is very poor, and his mother just wants the big high end NJ wedding and expects us to go in debt for it...not happening

     

    Awww,no high end Jersey wedding!!!! lol...my girlfriend just spent over $60k on her wedding and she was heartbroken, disappointed, and broke in the end... not only did alot of people not show up (and she still had to pay the venue for their plates)but she had an all night free open bar which turned out to be not such a great idea, but of course her mother had to invite the world and the groom's mother thought 2 hours of open bar was not enough so in the end she went against her gut to please the MOMS, but she regrets it terribly. And now I feel so bad because she's always telling me how simple and beautiful my wedding is going to be and she should have done what I'm doing :( BTW I'm in Clifton, NJ...

    #3492 shugapop1

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      Posted 05 August 2013 - 11:15 AM

      Quote:
      Originally Posted by niknic456 

       

      Awww,no high end Jersey wedding!!!! lol...my girlfriend just spent over $60k on her wedding and she was heartbroken, disappointed, and broke in the end... not only did alot of people not show up (and she still had to pay the venue for their plates)but she had an all night free open bar which turned out to be not such a great idea, but of course her mother had to invite the world and the groom's mother thought 2 hours of open bar was not enough so in the end she went against her gut to please the MOMS, but she regrets it terribly. And now I feel so bad because she's always telling me how simple and beautiful my wedding is going to be and she should have done what I'm doing :(BTW I'm in Clifton, NJ...

       

      I wish i would pay 60k for a wedding. i don't think i would(i know i wouldn't ) even if i had that kinda money. lol

      #3493 zeman321

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        Posted 05 August 2013 - 11:21 AM

        Originally Posted by pzl101 

        HELP ladies!! I'm second guessing myself and my decision now and stressing out ....

         

        We each have a very big family and since we're paying for the wedding ourselves, we decided to have a small wedding - inviting only immediate family and our best friends.

         

        I told my mom last night and she was very disappointed - not angry but more sad. She's the eldest of all my aunts and uncles and I'm her first child getting married so she expected/wants me to have a big party where I invite everyone. On my side alone, it will be 60 people ... add in my FI's family, it will be over 120! We don't want to offend any relative by picking and choosing certain ones that we are closer to so we decided we won't invite anyone.

         

        I explained to my mom that we couldn't afford to have a big wedding and she even offered to give me money (mind you, she's a seamstress working in a factory in NYC that is practically a sweatshop so she makes NO money)  So now I'm feeling guilty that my mom really wants this that she is willing to give me the little money she does have...

         

        I know not everyone will go but I think most will surprise us and go. I'm not sure what to do... should we just chance it and invite everyone and put it upon them to see if they will make it or not?  Or should we just stick to our original plans and hope everyone understands ...

         

        We will invite everyone out to dinner when we get back from the wedding - it won't be the same as a big AHR or a typical Chinese wedding banquet so I'm not sure if that will satisfy my family ( who are pretty traditional)

         

         I only see my relatives once a year at Christmas so we're not very close ... it's more about etiquette and tradition ...

        We chose a destination wedding because we wanted a small wedding, less stress, and didn't want to go in debt for it. Do not second guess yourself....it is your wedding and you need to do what works for you. Those extra people are not going to pay the bills when the wedding is long over....just sayin"



        #3494 MissJali

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          Posted 05 August 2013 - 11:22 AM

          So apparently it is still asshole wedding guests week. Question: is it true that usually people who have engagement parties don't have bridal showers? Is this a rule I'm unaware of? So here goes my cousin asking me if im having a bridal shower and i just said im not sure, and he hits me with this. Right because men know so much?? I don't get what an engagement party would have to do with a bridal shower. Am I bugging?



          #3495 zeman321

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            Posted 05 August 2013 - 11:24 AM

            Originally Posted by MissJali 

            So apparently it is still asshole wedding guests week. Question: is it true that usually people who have engagement parties don't have bridal showers? Is this a rule I'm unaware of? So here goes my cousin asking me if im having a bridal shower and i just said im not sure, and he hits me with this. Right because men know so much?? I don't get what an engagement party would have to do with a bridal shower. Am I bugging?

            I've never heard of that.



            #3496 MissJali

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              Posted 05 August 2013 - 11:30 AM

              Now out of spite I feel like telling my sister to host one! We have 7 months left, why are we even thinking of this so far out? Crazy



              #3497 shugapop1

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                Posted 05 August 2013 - 11:32 AM

                Quote:
                Originally Posted by MissJali 

                So apparently it is still asshole wedding guests week. Question: is it true that usually people who have engagement parties don't have bridal showers? Is this a rule I'm unaware of? So here goes my cousin asking me if im having a bridal shower and i just said im not sure, and he hits me with this. Right because men know so much?? I don't get what an engagement party would have to do with a bridal shower. Am I bugging?

                 

                well we must be buggin togethere because i don't know either . lol

                #3498 brownsugarbride

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                  Posted 05 August 2013 - 11:35 AM

                  Originally Posted by niknic456 

                   

                  Awww,no high end Jersey wedding!!!! lol...my girlfriend just spent over $60k on her wedding and she was heartbroken, disappointed, and broke in the end... not only did alot of people not show up (and she still had to pay the venue for their plates)but she had an all night free open bar which turned out to be not such a great idea, but of course her mother had to invite the world and the groom's mother thought 2 hours of open bar was not enough so in the end she went against her gut to please the MOMS, but she regrets it terribly. And now I feel so bad because she's always telling me how simple and beautiful my wedding is going to be and she should have done what I'm doing :(BTW I'm in Clifton, NJ...


                  Oh no.  I just hate to hear stories like this.  One of my girlfriends told me: "It's easy to say this in retrospect [after the marriage], but we realized early on that we couldn't please everybody.  So don't even try."  Simple words, but very true.  I find that my family has been incredibly supportive (in fact, THEY were the ones who were expecting a DW!) but they all have their opinions, some of which I take to heart, and some of which I have to filter out.  At the end of the day though, they've all said: this is your wedding.  You do you.  And I am! 



                  #3499 MissJali

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                    Posted 05 August 2013 - 11:35 AM

                    It ain't like i was inviting men to the bridal shower anyway so I'd like to know which rulebook did he get this from? Engagement party=celebration, if anyone gave me a gift, they wanted to, it wasn't forced. Bridal shower=different and I wasn't even thinking of one honestly. I don't need a bunch of lingerie bought for me lol



                    #3500 MissJali

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                      Posted 05 August 2013 - 11:37 AM

                      Originally Posted by zeman321 

                      We chose a destination wedding because we wanted a small wedding, less stress, and didn't want to go in debt for it. Do not second guess yourself....it is your wedding and you need to do what works for you. Those extra people are not going to pay the bills when the wedding is long over....just sayin"

                      That's exactly why I chose a DW also. It was easier to invite the "obligations" knowing there was no way they would come. That sounds so horrible. But my parents have pretty much supported me on this. Actually my dad was hinting for me to get married in DR before we knew what we really wanted lol. I think a happy medium would work best.






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