Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Peach

Is it too much?

Recommended Posts

So, we are planning a DW in Dominican in July 2013. We knew we'd get some flack from my family, since none of my 4 grandparents - who I am close with - can travel that far. But there has been a lot of drama. We were planning on doing the AHR in a casual, but fairly substantial, way when we got back. NOW it has been suggested to us to get legally married here, before we go (which we really did not want originally, but understand it will probably be easier), in a church (which we really did not want but is really, really, really important to my family) with just parents and grandparents. We actually are okay with this idea. But now my question is, is it all too much...

Legal ceremony (small church, then dinner at a restaurant would be the way it goes), then DW, then large AHR. I am worried people will think, gee, why do the DW at all?

 

I know a lot of brides on here have done this.... what do you think?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I personally like the idea of getting married legally here first, then you can forego some of the paperwork at your DW. Afterwards you can just have a small get together at a restaurant for your closest family members, mainly for those who can't go (your grandparents), have a blast at your DW and live it up with friends and those who missed out when you return. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My biggest concern is that our plan was for the AHR to be a rather large (not fancy, just in quantity of people) with a lot of extended family; more like a regular reception. So it is okay to have a legal ceremony (then supper at a restaurant or something) with the grandparents and parents, the DW with whoever comes, and the big AHR after? Or does that just seem like a lot?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No, I think it's totally fine. People will understand the importance of doing a small after-dinner-wedding reception with the closest family members. After all, it won't be considered "the wedding", right? Your actual wedding will be your big day with a ceremony, celebration and honeymoon right after. I am planning on doing something very similar, since we both have a lot of friends who won't be able to come to the DW but whom we'd love to share our experience with.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Why dont you combine small wedding+AHR? To me personally it is too much... Then the whole point of DW washes off... U should do what you feel is right and not worried about what people would think...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That is what I am wondering...

Except we only want a few people at our legal and extended at our AHR, and were hoping to do legal before DW and AHR after... but now having to rethink.

Oh family drama sucks.
 

Originally Posted by kat2012 View Post

Why dont you combine small wedding+AHR? To me personally it is too much... Then the whole point of DW washes off... U should do what you feel is right and not worried about what people would think...



 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


Amen..

Originally Posted by Peach View Post

Oh family drama sucks.
 



 



I think you should do what is the most comfortable for you and your family, and who would not want to have a chance to wear their wedding dress more than once! People will always think something different about your wedding. Good luck with your decision!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We did the legal wedding with just family and then dinner afterward before we left for our DW.  We will also be having the AHR now that we are back.  My suggestion would be to have a different and far less fancy dress for your legal wedding so it doesn't feel like it is taking away from your DW and big white dress.  I actually wore a red dress (traditional Chinese dress - to honor my husband's heritage) for my legal ceremony, so it was a polar opposite to my DW dress.

 

Although it seems like too many events to you, if having the separate ceremony and dinner is what will make your family happy (and therefore prevent them from creating other drama) then I think it is worth it.  Best of luck.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you for the advice... I am thinking this may be the way to go. My dress for the DW is going to be very simple, but I still think I would do something different for legal. Thanks!
 

Originally Posted by leigh2011 View Post

We did the legal wedding with just family and then dinner afterward before we left for our DW.  We will also be having the AHR now that we are back.  My suggestion would be to have a different and far less fancy dress for your legal wedding so it doesn't feel like it is taking away from your DW and big white dress.  I actually wore a red dress (traditional Chinese dress - to honor my husband's heritage) for my legal ceremony, so it was a polar opposite to my DW dress.

 

Although it seems like too many events to you, if having the separate ceremony and dinner is what will make your family happy (and therefore prevent them from creating other drama) then I think it is worth it.  Best of luck.



 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So, I have a similar dilemma - only, my issue is with having 2, yes 2 AHRs; one in RI (where I'm from) and one in CA (where my groom is from).  My grandmas wont be able to make it to CA and some of his family & friends wont be able to make it to RI and we don't want to leave anyone out.  These will both be small BBQ-type events, in our parent's backyards.  We are already married, long story, but due to finances decided to just elope here in San Diego and we're keeping that secret from our other friends & family.  But in looking at the difficulties in legally getting married in Mexico, I'm kind of relieved for one less thing to worry about, minus the secret part ... 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  


  • Best Destination Wedding Sponsors



    Facebook Pinterest Google+ Twitter
  • Posts

    • I’m getting married in six months to my foreign girlfriend. I was advised by a friend that one of the things I need to do before saying I do is to get a prenuptial agreement. Basically it’s supposed to protect my assets and properties in case my relationship with my future wife goes down the drain. I don’t know though if this is an acceptable practice when marrying Kiev ladies. I don’t want to do it if it would be insulting on her end. I need advice on this. Please help me.
    • So we are currently looking for an all inclusive resort for the wedding. We have 60 guests and found all the Dreams resorts as options and all of them gave us a quote and discounted price since it’s off season etc. Resorts in Punta Canta gave us a reasonable price, Dominicus gave us a really good deal then La Romana Resort and Spa gave us their regular price and so hard to negotiate. Will someone tell us how special is this resort that they won’t give us a good discount when all my guests are staying in their resort for 5-8 days. We are bringing $$$ in their resort and not give us a discount?  What is so special with this resort?  Can somebody recommend a beautiful resort? 
    • Hello Everyone, Share your favorite wedding venues. And also give me a Solution. I choose Wedding Venues in mobile al the Anne-marie cottage.
    • Hello Jania! are you bringing any external vendor for your wedding?
    • Looking forward to seeing your cruise wedding photos!!!
  • Topics

×