Thanks so much to each of you!!!! I am trying to just take one day at a time right now, but all of your kind words always make it easier and keep things in perspective for me. When so many people tell you that you are wrong you start to question yourself, and yes, it totally feels like the twilight zone. But,I think that is all part of the manipulation, if everyone is against me then maybe they can try to convince Andy that I am the crazy one?!? It's like I am the evil one trying to destroy the family with my big evil DW and they are just trying to "save" their family. So ridiculous. I think they spent so many years creating good little brain-washed children that they don't want anyone to come in and "shine the light". It makes me sick to even have to think that about a family, but seriously, what choice have they left me?
To answer some of your questions... yes, I truly am happy. He is my best friend and love of my life. When left to our own devices we are as close to perfect as any realtionship I have encountered. We have always had such a strong relationship. We see life the same, we view the world the same, and we share all of our dreams and goals (not trying to sound cheesy, but we really always have). Prior to our engagement we rarely ever argued and certainly never went to bed angry. We have never had even the slightest of trust issues. This is why this is all so hard to swallow. It is so out of character for us and it makes me so angry that a so-called family could inflict this much sadness, upsetment, and confusion on an otherwise very happy and excited engaged couple. I just think they should be so ashamed.
And I will definitely NOT be changing my date or location. I have done quite enough compromising. We already lost time and money originally trying to do the big, local wedding... one wedding canceled. By the time we finally agreed on St Lucia I was so excited. I went back to the drawing board and my parents put down a lot of deposits for us and have already paid for their deposit and flights, which are non-refundable. My best friend and her husband are booked. Our invitations have been ordered and partially paid for. It is not fair for all the investments made by us and my family to need to once again be thrown away. How do they think that is fair to MY family? The family of the BRIDE no less?? We have already lost more money than it would cost them to attend, I am not going to do it a second time. Can you believe I priced out their trip the other day and (not at our resort, but a half mile away and over a 4 star resort, which we would also pay for their day pass the day of) for both flights and a 3 night stay was only $1300!! Are you kidding me?? We are arguing over $1300 when we gave you a year's notice and it is your son's wedding??? My parents paid more than that to come down for our engagement party from Pennsylvania!! And, were going to have to pay it again whether we got married here in FL or anywhere else. In fact, I even brought that up to his family... since I am the bride would it be unreasonable for me to require that I get married in my own home town? They said no, that would have been fine with them, that they would go to Philly if that's what I chose,because it would be cheaper and they could drive. Cheaper, really? Cheaper than $1300? Um, yea, don't think so. We have both flown and drove there multiple times and would have been lucky to spend less than $2000. Nice try people. So what really are we arguing about then? I have no idea... just the idea of control I think. It's my damn wedding and I shouldn't have to fight with anyone for "control". He and I are currently getting along really well and have not brought up the wedding since the upsetment of my first night back home. Just trying to feel some normalcey for a bit I think. But, let's face it, we need to address it. I am terrified to bring it up. He is being so stubborn and I don't want to bring it up prematurely and ruin our progress. If it comes down to it, as much as it will piss me off, I just feel like saying we will pay for their trip. But, honestly, I don't even know that that will fix it, because I don't think it is the money that is really the problem. I am sure they will decline anyway out of pride or something and then where will I be? Where will he be? Where will WE be? Everytime I think about my wedding I get excited and then I remember, oh yea, right now there is no wedding. If he thinks for one second that after all these years, everything we have been through, and me waiting for this engagement and wedding for my whole life that we can just go merrily along and just continue to play house with no marriage then he is out of his mind. I don't even think that is what he really wants. I just think he is being stubborn. He is so much better than this and I just pray that he comes to his senses and realizes that the back and forth needs to end. It is time to embrace our choice and to move forward without regret. I believe when people see that we are happy and confident they will stop trying to come in for the kill. Ugh. I think I am going to give things a few more days to really settle down before bringing it back up. I even considered just going over to his parents and telling them we would be paying for the trip,but with the way they manipulate things I am sure that would backfire too. Any advice would be great!!!! Thanks to you all for everything, as always. I'll keep you posted for sure. Please keep your fingers crossed for me!!!!