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MY DAD IS NOW WITH MY MOTHERS BEST FRIEND... HELP INPUT.. ANY THING?


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#1 jamieirene

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    Posted 26 July 2011 - 08:35 PM

    Well....

     

     

    This is so hard for me to talk about, but it seems easy to open up about with you wonderful ladies...

     

    Okay so my parents where married for over 25 years.  Recently my dad left my mom for her best friend who moved here to a new office and my mother welcomed into our lives open arms.

     

    I hate the B*T%C!  I mean who would not?!  My dad stopped paying for the rest of my education so that he could buy her a new house!  He sold our summer home and boat!  He acts like nothing is wrong!  He acts like he can no afford to come to my wedding ( what a joke my dad and uncles own an engining company!)  

     

    My dad is invited to my wedding after he had done so many terrible things to me my mom and sister but his girlfriend ( my moms old best friend is NOT!!!!! )  

     

    My fiance and I are paying for our own wedding... I paid for my dress... Everything.... we are paying.... my mom tries to help but with the situation my dad has left her in its hard for me to accept money!  

     

    Is it wrong to "act like I want him in my life just for some money from him?"  Yet  I am yet to get a penny!  he keeps telling me about this 10 grand that is to go to my wedding which would allow us to have so many extras we want....

     

    His girlfriend no matter what is not invited our wedding... I would like my dad there but he is like attached to this crazy women... can anyone help me? I know this is a lot of babbling but maybe someone can relate?  

     

    help comments and suggestions would be terrific! 

     

     

    Thanks ladies!



    #2 JoanneIreland

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      Posted 28 July 2011 - 03:16 PM

      Oh wow, that's a pretty bad situation. Do you think you can reason with your dad and make him see this is a family and close friend wedding(small group of people going away together), and the new girlfriend is not appropriate EVEN if she wasn't your mum's ex-friend? Maybe that will seem more logical to him?
      I'm sorry you are in this situation and your poor mum must be hurting.



      #3 torilynnsmith

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        Posted 28 July 2011 - 03:26 PM

        OMG! I cannot even believe this, my heart goes out to you and your mom.  I think sitting down with your Dad and explaining that it is an intimate wedding and it is important for both your parents to be there but that in order to keep an enjoyable atmosphere for all you would not like his gf to attend.   I think he HAS to know that this would cause an issue and that if you just verbalize how you feel maybe he'll step up and understand its YOUR day and you don't need anyone, particularly your parents adding any drama to it.

         

         



        #4 jamieirene

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          Posted 01 August 2011 - 01:23 PM

          Thanks for the advice ladies! I really should sit down with him...its hard he honestly thinks he's done nothing wrong it's unreal!

          #5 Jamaica2012

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            Posted 07 August 2011 - 03:38 AM

            I would try to explain to him how unconfortable it would make your mom and hopefully he will understand and be considerate of the family wedding.


            4.27.2012 @ Iberostar Rose Hall Beach ~ Montego Bay


            #6 Jamie5280

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              Posted 24 August 2011 - 12:27 PM

              First off, I want to say I am so sorry and I know how you feel because I can totally relate.  My Dad ended up marrying my mom's best friend when I was 11 (it's his 3rd wife) and they are still together. A Little Background:   I never liked the woman even when she was friends with my mom!  My Dad's wife (as I like to call her, step mom is too nice) made my life so miserable in HS, College and she still manages to do it today!  My dad let's her talk about how awful all of his kids are, etc, etc... When my mom passed away 1 1/2 ago my brother and I held a reception for her, and she went around introducing herself to people as my mother!!!  She is totally crazy!!!....

               

              I know she is going to give my dad a hard time about offering money for our wedding so I am not expecting it.  However, he paid for 'her' oldest daughters' wedding and to boot didn't contribute or come to my older sister's wedding!

               

              I don't want 'her' there, she is already making her snide remarks and I just really can't stand her and I finally told my Dad that I didn't like her and if she berates me anymore, I will have a chat with her!

               

              Unfortunately for me, I have to invite her if I want my dad there, as he never takes my side!  I guess my best advice is to try talking to your Dad and tell him very calmly how you feel!  You may be so surprised by his reaction.  But truth is, you may be "stuck" with this woman being apart of you dad's life. But that in no way means you have to be nice to her or even that nice to him right now.  You definitely need time!!! I know for me, it's hard to deal with to this day, but I have to, if I want any sort of relationship with my dad.

               

              I know nothing can really help, but I am here if you ever need to vent about it again!  I totally get it!!!



              #7 mrsbruff2b

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                Posted 01 September 2011 - 08:29 PM



                Originally Posted by Jamie5280 

                First off, I want to say I am so sorry and I know how you feel because I can totally relate.  My Dad ended up marrying my mom's best friend when I was 11 (it's his 3rd wife) and they are still together. A Little Background:   I never liked the woman even when she was friends with my mom!  My Dad's wife (as I like to call her, step mom is too nice) made my life so miserable in HS, College and she still manages to do it today!  My dad let's her talk about how awful all of his kids are, etc, etc... When my mom passed away 1 1/2 ago my brother and I held a reception for her, and she went around introducing herself to people as my mother!!!  She is totally crazy!!!....

                 

                I know she is going to give my dad a hard time about offering money for our wedding so I am not expecting it.  However, he paid for 'her' oldest daughters' wedding and to boot didn't contribute or come to my older sister's wedding!

                 

                I don't want 'her' there, she is already making her snide remarks and I just really can't stand her and I finally told my Dad that I didn't like her and if she berates me anymore, I will have a chat with her!

                 

                Unfortunately for me, I have to invite her if I want my dad there, as he never takes my side!  I guess my best advice is to try talking to your Dad and tell him very calmly how you feel!  You may be so surprised by his reaction.  But truth is, you may be "stuck" with this woman being apart of you dad's life. But that in no way means you have to be nice to her or even that nice to him right now.  You definitely need time!!! I know for me, it's hard to deal with to this day, but I have to, if I want any sort of relationship with my dad.

                 

                I know nothing can really help, but I am here if you ever need to vent about it again!  I totally get it!!!

                 

                What. a. nut. job. O_O
                 

                 


                Married: 20/06/12 - Our 11 year anniversary~

                Wedding @: Moon Palace Golf & Spa Resort (Cancun, Mexico)

                Honeymoon @: Le Blanc Spa Resort (Cancun, Mexico)


                #8 kymish

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                  Posted 08 September 2011 - 12:24 PM

                  im so sorry that your going thru this and for your mom to... odds are if your dad is this attached to the "woman" even if you sit down and try to rationalize your feelings about her not attending he may pull the " if she doesnt go im not going" so prepare yourself to either have her attend or have your dad not there. i personally always prepare for the worse to happen. I really hope it works out for you !!



                  #9 jamieirene

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                    Posted 12 September 2011 - 01:25 PM

                    Thanks Everyone!!!  It is just insane to me that you would rather not go to your DAUGHTERS wedding because your girl friend is not invited and for such reasons that you are lucky you yourself are invited!!  Blows my mind! 






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