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starrysim

Are you registering if you're having a DW?

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We are having at AHR but, you will still be having a bridal shower I assume?  If you are people will bring you gifts.  So in my opinion I would register for gifts at least one place so guest to your bridal shower can buy you gifts you actually want.  : )

Originally Posted by starrysim View Post

I'm not sure how to handle the topic of gifts for our wedding. My fiance has a large family, but not many people will be coming to our actual wedding in Jamaica. We're not planning to do an AHR (I'm not planning on it at all, but we might have to do something small if our parents insist on it later). We're pretty much telling people who ask that we're not expecting gifts, since they're going to be paying for their vacation to attend our wedding. I realize that some people will want to give a gift anyway. In general, what are you guys doing? Would it be in bad taste to register, or should we do it because people will be expecting it? I will have a shower - maybe we should register for that? I just don't want it to look like we're expecting gifts, either from people who are coming, or people who aren't.



 

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I am wondering the same things myself. We have lived together for close to 7 years, been engaged for over 5 and have 3 children. We own our home and all necessities and most people already refer to us as married, so I feel it is almost tscky to register, b/c we truly don't expect gifts whether you're coming to the wedding or not. We are inviting all the people that we would were we to have it at home, assuming many cant come, but I am paranoid that some will think we're scrounging for gifts, bt in reality, were trying very hard not to offend anyone. Then there are people who i know will want to buy us a gift regardless... Arrrgh this is one of my biggest stressors with this wedding!

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My FI and I set a couple up just in case. There will always be the people who DON'T come that might want to send a gift, so I figured it would make it easier for those people. However, we registered at a few places with nothing being very outrageous in cost...I don't want to give people the impression that we expect them to give us lavish gifts. We also have set up our "weddingmoon" account so people could contribute to that instead if they like. Although the only thing I am having a hard time with is wording it all in a way that doesn't sound like we expect anything. But we do have all of them posted on our website!

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Thanks for all the replies!  I guess setting up a small registry is definitely the way to go.  We won't "advertise" it, but will let it spread by word of mouth if anyone asks.

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My fiance and I really don't want any gifts or cash, as we know that our guests are spending quite a bit of money coming to our destination wedding. We indicated on our wedding website that we're not registered anywhere and hope that will discourage people from buying us gifts.

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A lot of our family and friends have asked us about a registry and said they'd like to get us a gift because they won't be attending our wedding. We registered at Bed, bath, and beyond & Target, but we only tell people if they ask. We recently decided that were going to have an AHR because we were previously planning a traditional wedding and had already made deposits for our reception hall. So we figured that we'll still do something simple there so our money won't go to waste. But I think if you're having an AHR you should most definitely do a registry for the sake of people who would like to buy something. My friend didn't do a registry because she only wanted gifts, but ultimately she didn't get much money and got random gifts that she didn't want.... just something to consider.

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