Shocked and Sad and Pissy

[sascolo]

Girls...it is so great to know others are going through this too. One of the hard things about a dw I guess. We did offer to pay and they declined so we will see what happens. What bums me out is that I will have quite a few friends and family there but I don't think he will. He seems to be handling it well but it has got to hurt.

[aholen]

I'm going through it too, though with some of our friends. 2 of my very close friends just informed me they won't make it for money reasons, but they want to take me to Vegas & pay the way. Trouble is, the cost difference is $200, and that's if they don't drink at all in Vegas or do anything that costs money beyond one show. When I pointed this out and offered to pay the difference, they didn't change their minds. One just leased a new, expensive car, the other is financially stable. Seems to me you could save up $200 over the course of a year. Especially since we're asking for no gifts, we're not having a shower, etc.

 

My FI was hoping to ask one of his close friends to be his best man, and it turns out he's not going because it will be his 6 year old daughter's first dance recital. Huh? I would think if it's really that important you'd fly out alone and ask your wife to take the daughter. Am I crazy??

 

On the other hand, a friend is flying all the way from Australia to be there, and another has her brother's wedding the night before and will leave after his reception to be there for mine.

 

I think DW's can really show where people's priorities lay. I think I just need to focus on the ones who truly love me!

[sascolo]

T

 

Update: mil and fil are now planning to come. Only be there for two nights but I guess that's better than none. So strange.

[perry1217]

Good luck with everything.  The questions and raised eyebrows are already starting to come in from people so I'm sure I'll be doing my share of venting soon!

[Debs]

Oh, I'm glad they changed their mind! Even if it's just for a few days. Yay. It's a stressful time, planning a wedding! People think a dw is less stressful, and I beg to differ!!

[merrylee]

I've had my tears already too, and we haven't officially picked a date yet.  It's so great to know that I am not alone in my DW struggles.  I was so worried that my dad would say no, and that I think would have done me in.  I have a small family of 8 total and 6 are my brother and his family.  My SIL told me flat out that it isn't going to happen and my brother is willing to do anything to make it work even if it is only for a few days.  I just wish they would know where the other is coming from because the emotional roller coaster I think will drive me crazy.  I've accepted that they probably won't be there not with 4 kids and 2 adults, and I knew that when I chose to have a DW, but I don't want to feel guilty for wanting to be with the people that matter the most to us for longer than 5 minutes of chatting at a table, and not remembering those 5 minutes...