So, my mom has always made it known she wanted me and my sister to be each other's MOH. When my sister got married in April, I was the MOH and I did not enjoy it. Every time I tried to get in touch with her to help out or anything, it was like pulling teeth. She doesn't answer her phone, won't return e-mails or texts. It's like she wanted nothing to do with me.
Since she met her now husband, she changed completely. She used to care about her family and talk with my mom all the time. Now, my mom is lucky to hear from her once a week, and that is even rare. She doesn't come to our family functions, because she is always at his.
When I got engaged, it took her SIX days to congratulate me. I called her the next day, texted her the day after and then called her the next two days. If she hadn't called me on the sixth day, I had a prepared speech I was going to leave on her voicemail.
She called me at work and kept hinting at how she wanted me to ask her. When she asked if I had decided anything, I said no. Then she asked me the same thing again.
I was going to bit the bullet and ask her up until it took her six days to congratulate me. That's not the kind of person I want by my side.
I have a friend who is like a sister to me. She is a few years older and babysat me a few times when I was younger. But she has always been in my life and cried more than I did when I got engaged. She is the person who should be my MOH.
When I told my mom I was going to ask her, she hung up on me then refused to answer the phone.
She wrote a letter to me and my sister about being sisters and how it is tearing her up that her only daughters don't really talk.
I was not going to call my sister and told my mom that because I am always the one to try.
So I sent her a text inviting her to our house for thanksgiving. After three days and another message she finally responded saying she already had plans with her brother in law.
In the same message I had asked her to come dress shopping with me and my mom at the end of the month, and she made no mention of it. So I sent her another message asking what about dress shopping. Nothing. So I sent her another one and her response was "let me know what time, the earlier the better." As in she will try to squeeze it in.
This is not who I want as my MOH.
I have wanted to say so much to her for the past year. I let it all slide because she was getting married, and I didn't want to upset her. But now I have had enough. Problem is, I can't get her on the phone or in person to talk to her.
My mom says my sister is going through some stuff. But won't give me any details and keeps trying to guilt me into asking my sister. I don't want to upset my mom because she is already going through a hard time with my Nona who is quickly going downhill to alzheimers.
My mom was here all weekend and I just couldn't bring myself to tell her I made up my mind and I can't change it.
When we did talk about it, she was giving me the "do it for me" "make me happy" speech.
So frustrated. I don't want to hurt her but this is my wedding.
I do want a relationship with my sister, but I really don't think that asking her to be my MOH will make it better
It would be fake and I am not a fake person.
I think I just need to sit down with her and tell her what my problem is and tell her how she has hurt me which is why I am not going to have her as my MOH. It might make things worse, or it might be a starting point to a real relationship.
Maybe she will realize just how much she has hurt this family and that her actions have consequences. That's her problem, she never thinks about her actions affect others and I have had enough.
Sorry for the long rant I just really needed to vent.