I am recently engaged (May '10) after 11 years to a wonderful man. We are planning a small destination wedding and want to keep everything as simple as possible. The issue is my very excitable mother. Ever since we got engaged, she has said she is going to stay out of any wedding plans, and only give advice or her opinion when asked. So far, this is going well, with the occasional very strong opinion, on where to go, things to buy/wear, etc.
My latest issue is her involvement in the wedding shower my aunt was hosting for my mom's side of the family. So far, my mom has pretty much done all the planning and shopping for things like invites, games/prizes (GAG), decorations, etc. The date hasn't been set yet, but I am not sure how I feel with the amount of time and effort she is putting into the shower that was originally going to be hosted by my aunt. Is it a huge faux pas for my mom to be so involved with the shower planning? It almost feels to me like my aunt has little to do with it, and my mom is now hosting. She is really excited for all this wedding stuff since it's been so long in the making, but I am afraid of what people will think. I am doing my best to keep my mouth shut since she is so excited about it all. She has recently gone through cancer surgery and chemo this past winter, where we weren't sure if she was going to make it. Her own wedding was really small (shot-gun since she was preggo with my brother!) and didn't get to do all this stuff for her own. I feel she is trying to make up for things she missed out on, but am concerned about how this should be handled since she is the mother-of-the-bride.
Any advice out there?