Long Distance Relationships - Some thoughts
Posted 18 June 2010 - 09:33 AM
What we have found is that there are issues that may exist in a long distance relationship that will not and do not come into play unless the specific instance presents itself. Relationships of course continue to be about learning more about each other and fitting the pieces of two independent characters and spirits together to make a whole.
One way of getting to this place is communication, communication, communication. What my FI and I realized or rather knew but failed to address was that as some issues arose we chose to communicate about them less. When this happened, it started to cause a break down, thus causing other issues. Issues, that really didn't have to exist and that weren't a problem, but because we had not communicated about things originally they became bigger problems.
So as we work through our lapse in communication, we bring ourselves back to a place of comfort and peace in our relationship (you know I'm the fiesty one). I guess my advice to anyone in a long distance relationship or in any relationship, when you see things that may not be going right or you feel that something needs to be said - SAY IT! Don't delay it, don't wait for the perfect time, don't wait until things become stressful or uncomfortable and both of you know that there is 1000lb gorilla in the room but neither of you dare mention the fact.
Me and the FI are fine now, we have talked and talked and talked! But last weekend when he visited things were so off we didn't enjoy his visit as we should have and we were supposed to go see venues and neither one of us could even bring ourselves to do so. It was all wasted time with the little time that we did have together.
Remember that LDR's are just a little bit more stressful than the normal relationship. So remember to continue to communicate, communicate, communicate!
Posted 18 June 2010 - 12:04 PM
those are some great points. Mine is a little different it is long distnace but we live in two different countries so its even harder for us to see other on a normal basis. But you are so right as in any relationship you must have communication and espeically in LDR because you dont get to see each other everydays so some things will come up that most couples probably have worked out a long time ago but your just facing. Thanks for the post.
Posted 18 June 2010 - 02:38 PM
Posted 18 June 2010 - 09:06 PM
And she I agree because of the difference in location sometimes you forgot about what was discussed and the dilemma starts all over but I know in the end we will both have great marriages and relationships. Me and my FI started out friends for a few years before we even got together and I think this has helped our relationship out a lot. I also think that the distance makes you think of different ways to do things and that makes the relationship stronger in some cases.
Posted 19 June 2010 - 05:59 AM
Definitely what doesnt break you will only make you stronger and LDRs definitely allow you to become friends because you take time to discuss things not always important but little things and also like you said, it makes you creative. Well we can definitely say that we and our relationships will be better for it.
Good luck my dear and please keep in touch to let me know how it all goes.
Posted 19 June 2010 - 11:35 AM
Posted 21 June 2010 - 08:46 PM
Posted 21 June 2010 - 08:52 PM
Posted 21 June 2010 - 10:00 PM
Thanks for all of your support!
Posted 22 June 2010 - 02:20 AM
There were times when we would see each other every weekend and others due to work commitments etc that it would be 6-8 weeks before we would see each other and unless it was holidays booked from work, we would usually only get 2-3 days together!!!
Things are very hard but when you are finally together it makes it all worth it, and just shows that your relarionship is very very strong :-)
I really do feel for you and know you will be ok and come out the other side xoxox
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