| Originally Posted by hoyt75 |
No offense taken Tammy. The way I see it, I've already offended plenty of people by doing a dw and then deciding to have our ahr at a brewery, so tickin' off a few more isn't a big deal. We don't really care what people think about us or what they're going to say. People will talk regardless of what happens.
I think their are plenty of us out there at use the term ahr loosely, ranging from full blown fancy reception to backyard bbq with family and friends.
I agree with everyone else tho - if you're going to have a big ahr and want to be more formal then it's not right to stick the food cost on your guests. In our situation we're still paying for all the food, we just asked a handful of people to make the dishes that they're well known for. Example, we have a close family friend that makes the best brisket we've ever had. We asked before hand if he would be willing to cook if we were willing to pay for the food, and he said okay. But, he does this kind of stuff all the time for lots of people, so it probably wasn't a big deal to him.
My point is that you do whatever makes you feel comfortable, regardless of what your family, friends or bdw thinks. Nobody said you had to follow the 'rules'.
Like you Hoyt, we too offended a lot of people by having a DW in the first place but guess what, we didn't care, it was our wedding and our day and quite honestly we do not care about what people think of us or say (behind our backs or not) about our decisions. AHR was a term used VERY loosely for us as well.
To each your own, I think everyone should do what is most comfortable for your own situation. For us it was a potluck, and if given the chance again I wouldn't change a thing about our wedding or AHR.