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wedding shower...thoughts..

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#11 mmshaughness

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    Posted 17 February 2010 - 01:40 PM

    Agreed on all of the above! If she was invited to the wedding, then it is within ettiquite to invite her to the shower. Just because the wedding is not within the geographical bounds of the country does not mean you shouldn't celebrate with the traditional wedding gatherings! Lame

    I am having a shower as well as a bachelorette party. We are having a DW and an AHR so I included those people on the invite list to the shower and bachelorette party and I feel like friends are excited to celebrate!

    Good luck - I hope that your family realizes that this is your day and you have the right to celebrate in the way you would like!

    #12 vlynnw

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    • 6,003 posts

      Posted 17 February 2010 - 01:44 PM

      Well it's not like she wasn't invited, she's just choosing not to go to the wedding. It's not wrong of her to be invited to the shower at all. Are you having an AHR? If so then there shouldn't be any reason for her to be upset because you are still throwing a party to celebrate and one that she can definitely attend.
      Veronica & Adam - May 6, 2011 - Dreams Tulum

      #13 mbarnes04

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        Posted 17 February 2010 - 04:09 PM

        No offense, but your aunt sounds really rude!! I think it is perfectly fine to have a shower... they are invited and if they can't come to the wedding as long as you don't make them feel bad about it, it should be fine. The purpose of the shower is to celebrate something special - the fact you are getting married. You shouldn't have to skip a shower just because you are having a destination wedding. If they are invited to the wedding, you should invite them to the shower. If they opt not to go, that's their choice and you shouldn't be offended, but she should just decline and NOT make you feel bad or take it away from you!!! Sorry you are going through this!!!

        #14 mbarnes04

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          Posted 17 February 2010 - 04:12 PM

          ...and i don't think you necessarily need to have an ahr just to make it ok... you are perfectly fine according to ettiquite.

          #15 ChristinaP

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          • 365 posts

            Posted 17 February 2010 - 04:18 PM

            A bride is a bride, and if your own mother wants to throw you a shower I say great.
            Same goes for a stagette.

            Brides have enough to think about and plan for with the actual wedding (and I'm sure we've all learned that a DW isn't always cheaper or less hassle) that they don't need to be worrying about people's opinions about the events beforehand. We have tried to make it clear that we do not want gifts for our wedding. nor do I expect them at a shower- but I DO NOT feel bad about my mom, sister whoever hosting a shower for me.
            I hope your mom told your aunt to shove it.

            #16 Stina4242

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              Posted 17 February 2010 - 04:29 PM

              Like you said, she WAS invited!

              #17 Loveisintheair

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                Posted 17 February 2010 - 04:33 PM

                Ditto to what everyone said..... Enjoy your shower or showers or whatever anyone wants to do for you.

                #18 ali0284

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                  Posted 17 February 2010 - 06:06 PM

                  Thank you ladies for all your thoughts...you really made me feel better!!! My aunt actually called my mom and apologized this morning, saying she was out of line, and that she can see my mom is thinking with her heart in throwing me a shower, and that she (my aunt) needs to start thinking with her heart more. So that was actually a big thing for my aunt, because she doesn't apologize for ANYTHING!!! But now it's my FI family that is the problem. HIs mom told him it was very "tackY" to have a shower. He told her it wasn't about the gifts, and we weren't asking for gifts. Her response was "that is the whole point of a shower, you cant show up with out a gift." As for his sister telling me the idea of my mom throwing me a shower was "stupid" and Ishouldn't have one because we wanted a destination wedding, she tried to change her story today after my FI called her out on it, and told her if she had a problem then not to go! UGG I swear, I hate drama!

                  There are those people who have been excited about it from the get go, amd then there is that handful of people who do nothing but complain about every single thing. HIs mother made a comment about "well I think i'm the grooms mom and should know more about what is going on." I have TRIED to include her in everything!! I even asked her to come w/me when I got my dress. But she has shown no interest in anything at all. So why would I continue to bring up the wedding, when she acts as if she couldn't care less?? BTW his family still hasn't booked their trip...and we are getting married in may.
                  ~*I believe in the sand beneath my toes, the beach gives a feeling an earthy feeling*~

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