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Dilemma inviting children


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#1 lalanyc

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    Posted 09 February 2010 - 07:24 PM

    So... we are definitely inviting the children of our closest relatives to the wedding (in fact, I'm really hoping they come!!).

    However, we also have several friends with young children (under 3 yrs old). While it would be ok if some of them brought their kids, I think it could be a disaster if they ALL brought their kids - especially since they're so little!

    Do we need to state the names of the babies/toddlers on the invitations?? If so, would this appear as if we WANT them to bring their children?

    I don't want people to assume the resort is going to be incredibly family friendly either b/c frankly, I do think the adults are going to get a little nuts...



    #2 bnbrmy

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      Posted 09 February 2010 - 08:35 PM

      I would put a letter in with the invites saying its not going to be a child friendly zone, ue to alcohol or whatever, and let the parents make up there mind. If you on't want them coming, I would just tell them that you preferit to be a childfree place other than those in the wedding or for family.

      #3 NaM

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        Posted 09 February 2010 - 08:40 PM

        I could see this getting touchy...like if I had kids and my kids weren't invited but there were other kids at the wedding...I would probably be upset and offended.
        I think if you're going to open it up to kids you should be open minded to having all the kids there even if it isn't completely ideal. I just can't see excluding some of them and not others as a good idea.
        Does your resort have an option to leave the kids somewhere...like a kidzone or something?? That might be a good option for some parents.
        But it is your wedding so you should definitely do whatever makes you the most happy.

        #4 lalanyc

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          Posted 09 February 2010 - 09:00 PM

          Quote:
          Originally Posted by NaM
          I could see this getting touchy...like if I had kids and my kids weren't invited but there were other kids at the wedding...I would probably be upset and offended.
          I think if you're going to open it up to kids you should be open minded to having all the kids there even if it isn't completely ideal. I just can't see excluding some of them and not others as a good idea.
          Does your resort have an option to leave the kids somewhere...like a kidzone or something?? That might be a good option for some parents.
          But it is your wedding so you should definitely do whatever makes you the most happy.
          No kid zone but I am considering getting a babysitter. In fact, I wanted to let guests know on our website that we could contract certified babysitters but my FI was against it b/c he didn't want it to seem like we are encouraging kids to come.

          Of course, it's ok if SOME non-family kids come but if everyone decides to bring their babies, I think it'll be a bit much.

          #5 KRama

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            Posted 09 February 2010 - 11:06 PM

            I have to agree with NaM, it's either invite all of them or none of them (we're currently having this debate regarding our AHR, we don't want them, the folks do...but that's another thread...)

            We addressed the invites to the parents only, provided all the resort information and let them make the decision whether or not they wanted to bring their kids. Only ONE couple decided to bring their daughter, the rest practically leaped at the idea of having a week to themselves! Keep in mind that if some people can't bring their kids, especially if they're so young, they may not come at all.

            If we do end up inviting kids to the AHR, I plan on adding "and family" to indicate that children are invited.

            #6 lalanyc

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              Posted 10 February 2010 - 12:00 AM

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by KRama
              I have to agree with NaM, it's either invite all of them or none of them (we're currently having this debate regarding our AHR, we don't want them, the folks do...but that's another thread...)

              We addressed the invites to the parents only, provided all the resort information and let them make the decision whether or not they wanted to bring their kids. Only ONE couple decided to bring their daughter, the rest practically leaped at the idea of having a week to themselves! Keep in mind that if some people can't bring their kids, especially if they're so young, they may not come at all.

              If we do end up inviting kids to the AHR, I plan on adding "and family" to indicate that children are invited.

              KRama - to be clear, you did allow all kids to your DW but you just didn't explicitly list the children's names on the invitations? hmm, that could be a strategy as well....

              #7 carolina24

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                Posted 10 February 2010 - 12:08 AM

                i have to agree with NaM as well...it's all or nothing (when it comes to guests) . We are only having 3 kids as flower girls and that's it. We're not even inviting cousins who are under 18 just so that there is no confusion about it!!

                #8 KRama

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                  Posted 11 February 2010 - 01:55 PM

                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by lalanyc
                  KRama - to be clear, you did allow all kids to your DW but you just didn't explicitly list the children's names on the invitations? hmm, that could be a strategy as well....
                  Exactly. We send out save-the-date emails addressed to "Ted & Sue" for example with all the resort and booking information. Within that info we said "child rates available" so we figured that was enough indication that people could bring their children if they chose to. Like I said, only ONE couple chose to bring their daughter who's 6, everyone else opted to leave the kids at home. However the kids in our group are mostly 5 and up so it's easier to get away...

                  #9 AlexsBride

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                    Posted 11 February 2010 - 03:17 PM

                    I have a 20 month old daughter and speaking as if I was going to be a guest at a destination wedding...I would be thrilled to leave her with Grandma for the week and enjoy a holiday without her! So I have to agree with the above posters who say it's all or nothing. If you invite some, then you *should* be open to others bringing their children as well. (As much as I would prefer to have an adults only wedding myself!! With us having kids of our own, its kinda impossible!)
                    Mom to two beautiful girls, Izzy and Delilah and about to marry their Daddy! :)




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