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Need to vent about a copycat cousin


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#1 sungoddess_08

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    Posted 06 February 2010 - 01:22 PM

    I have this cousin who has ALWAYS copied me, always...since we were little. I decide I want to do something, suddenly she does too....I want to go to a certain grad school, she does too etc. It has always been obvious and VERY irritating.

    I should mention that we don't talk to that family -- I am informed about waht she does by my grandma. We haven't talked to them for about 4 years....for many reasons, and we don't have any intention of starting. So over the summer we made small talk on facebook one day when she was trying to add me -- I told her our wedding date was October 2, 2010 which it was before we decided to move it up to June. So, she thinks it's October 2 -- (none of them are invited to our DW, so they have not been informed of the update).

    SO....she began dating this guy 5 months ago and NOW THEY ARE ENGAGED!!!! After 5 months....AND they set at date - October 16, 2010 TWO WEEKS AFTER WHEN SHE THINKS MINE IS!!!!!! I wish I could make this stuff up.

    I am so annoyed and irritated, even though I know I shouldn't be. She is a copycat, but it just bugs me because while I'm not a bridezilla, and don't even want them a part of my wedding I want to have my time to shine -- She had to go and be level with me, instead of just letting me have my time.

    Maybe I sound like a baby, and I probbaly am -- but this is just the LATEST of what she has copied, and it's the biggest and most important one to me.

    Okay -- that's all, just needed to vent - what do you guys think? Is she crazy!?

    #2 roo66

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      Posted 06 February 2010 - 05:16 PM

      Crazy probably but play it cool will your grandma tell her your real wedding date? whatever you do dont tell her your plans.You could have fun with her and lead her down the garden path.Tell her snippits of what you have planned obviously what you would find unpleasant,and let her shop.Nasty? probably but ive had a friend do that to me not on my wedding day though.I think because its your WEDDING day you have licence to play!!!

      #3 marak

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        Posted 06 February 2010 - 06:18 PM

        Not saying you are at this point yet, but for heaven's sake when you are, do not leak potential baby names to ANY family member! If your cousin gets wind she'll steal those too, she's one of "those people."

        It's horrible annoying and yep, she's stalkerific.

        #4 sungoddess_08

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          Posted 06 February 2010 - 06:53 PM

          hahahahaha I know!! my mom said I should tell her I'm pregnant and then say "gotcha" ahha kidding of course.

          They are not invited - so I won't be telling them any more details. I just think it's CRAZY!! ahhh...

          #5 Oryx

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            Posted 06 February 2010 - 09:08 PM

            I think you may be overreacting just a little bit... yes it is annoying, but her life has nothing to do with yours and it makes no difference to you anyways. If she is really that obsessed with you, than I would just feel pity for her... and her clueless FI.

            #6 brandynd

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              Posted 06 February 2010 - 09:43 PM

              That does sound irritating, but you know, they do say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Maybe she idolizes you and wants to be more like you.
              There is no better gift that can be given than the gift of ones self.

              #7 sungoddess_08

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                Posted 07 February 2010 - 12:37 AM

                Meh - I guess it may seem that I am overreacting, but if you knew the history of our family you'd see I'm not. My parents go get a car -- her parents get one a bit better - My parents buy a new house without a hot tub, they buy one 2 months later with a hot tub. They are very materialistic, and competitive with their own friends and family -- so it may seem I am being narcisstic, but I guess if you knew the family history/drama you'd see my point.

                #8 islandbride317

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                  Posted 08 February 2010 - 01:14 AM

                  Ugh....how annoying! I'm sure other people have told you the old line "immitation is the most sincere form of flattery", but sometimes, enough is enough, right?!?

                  It's just sort of sad that she's so unoriginal that she needs to copy your every move, but then again, you must be pretty darn awesome and make some really great decisions in your life that she looks up to you this way -- have you ever had a conversation with her about how this makes you feel? Maybe I am giving her way to much credit, but perhaps she doesn't even realize she's doing this. Just a thought, and maybe then she would be more mindful when she's making plans in her life to be aware of what she's doing (ie. if it's going to be similar to you, maybe that would be enough to make her go a different route).

                  Hang in there and enjoy YOUR time to shine, regardless of what cousin-dearest says or does....you DESERVE IT!!

                  #9 sungoddess_08

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                    Posted 08 February 2010 - 10:40 AM

                    Thank you!!

                    I have heard that line -- and tell myself that's all it is. We aren't close at all -- we had a family falling out 4 years ago, so I don't talk to them anymore (but they are all close still). So by bringing it up it would cause more family drama that we don't need.

                    I'm just going to do what the other ladies suggested, and not let her (or the family) find out any details - it will save me the stress of being upset when she copies something else. Also, this has gone wayyy back to when my mom and dad first got married -- and her mom did the same thing to my mom. So I think it's in the genes lol.

                    But, you're right -- I need to forget about it and focus on My Day!! Thanks!




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