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Eloping VS having guests- please help!

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5 replies to this topic

#1 *Linds*

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    Posted 25 October 2009 - 10:38 AM

    Hi ladies! I am in need of some advice and thoughts from those of you doing one or the other noted in the title.

    All along my FI and I have planned to have about 20-30 guests at our destination wedding in Mexico...I am now considering going back to school, which would put us in a tight financial situation for a year or so. My dad is saying that if we eloped in Mexico he would give us the money that he would be paying towards his travel+the ceremony/reception in Mexico for savings. My mom is already loaning me the money to go back to school. I really cannot delay going back to school because of the type of program I am considering getting into.

    My question is- should we just elope and have a few (4ish) close friends attend with us and not ask our parents to make the trip?


    Should we go with our plan from the beginning? Inviting a number of guests and our parents?

    We are having a traditional AHR at a country club in our hometown, this cannot be changed because non-refundable money has already been put down.

    I know this is a personal decision, but I just wanted to see if any of you could share any insightful thoughts that maybe I have overlooked!

    Thanks in advance!
    Loving married life! <3

    #2 Melidell

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      Posted 25 October 2009 - 05:24 PM

      Wow- that is a personal decision. If you truly can't afford to do both and can live with not having your parents there, I would go with the elopement. I think weddings are important, but your life together is the most important thing and starting it debt-free and with a good education is the best way to do it, if possible. You really have to go with how you feel, though. Don't do it if you think you'll regret it down the road.
      Loving married life!

      #3 mlabbe

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      • 784 posts

        Posted 25 October 2009 - 05:38 PM

        As a suggestion, could you elope with your parents?

        #4 NaM

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          Posted 25 October 2009 - 06:06 PM

          Personally, I would elope and go back to school. I only say that because you are having the AHR too and your parents can go to that. If you can live with that fact that your parents will not be at your actualy wedding day of course.
          Having $$ put away in savings would be huge as would furthering your education, but if having your dream wedding is a bigger deal to you then I would go with that.
          Not an easy choice but I hope you get what you want and it makes you happy!

          #5 SSNM

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          • 675 posts

            Posted 25 October 2009 - 08:51 PM

            I have a similar situation as I am currently considering buying a business and I will most likely need to buy a home that will not only be for me and FI, but BOTH of our parents plus an ill brother. I even put some thought in to going back to school as well. All of these things, to me, are of greater value than throwing a wedding and so I will be giving them priority and whatever is left over for my wedding will have to do. If I feel like I need to have that 'big day' experience, I can always do an anniversary celebration with family and friends at a later date. That is for me, though. Like many people said, it is a personal decision and you got to decide what is most important to you.

            #6 *Linds*

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              Posted 25 October 2009 - 08:54 PM

              Thanks for all the input! It is a very personal decision I am just SO much on the fence about what to do that I thought I would ask for some feedback!
              Loving married life! <3

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