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MIL Majorly Messed Up Invitations... Help!

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#1 Queenie77

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  • 48 posts

    Posted 15 September 2009 - 11:50 PM

    My new MIL sent out our at-home reception invites with multiple typos. She made them herself, after telling me that the place where I had picked out some very simple, but classic invites wasn't good enough. So she makes them out of cardstock and flimsy animal print scrapbook paper. The print is way too tiny - you literally have to hold them 6 inches in front of you to read them. She didn't put our new last name anywhere on it - just our first names. She mispelled "newlyweds" and "barbeque." Worst of all, she put the wrong RSVP number on it... and it was her own phone number she messed up! She put a number that rings to an oncology office, which is going over really well with that business.

    I'm really frustrated because my new husband and I have had this entire reception hijacked. My family paid for the wedding and the honeymoon, and his family is paying for this at-home reception, hosted on their estate. My husband's family is wealthy, but his stepmother chose a DIY route for these invites. DIY is fine - I did DIY boarding pass invites that looked very professional. However, these DIY invites were thrown together and mailed out without me or my husband ever getting to see them, proof them or have any sort of opinion about them. Typos are very embarassing, and reflect poorly upon us.

    It also seems his father and stepmother want to change everything we wanted in order to impress their wealthy peers, which is what makes the poor invitation quality so ironic. The casual beach theme with a BBQ, has been changed to a fall theme (with animal print?) The food, decor and a band were all selected without our input. (The band is playing music from the 70s and 80s, even though most of our guests weren't even born until 1984. They know only six songs from the year 2000 forward.) Best of all, the response I got about the messed up invites was a text message saying that "people will figure out to call our families once they get an offer to make a gyno appt." Like this whole thing was one big joke. Then there was a small throw-away apology for not catching the mistake.

    I feel like this was a major mistake. Sloppy and unacceptable. I don't want to look a gift horse in the mouth, but I also don't know what etiquette applies here. My mother and close friends are horrified for us, and said they think the best option is to send some sort of correction letter. However, they also think that the person who made the mistake in the first place should be the one to do that. Obviously she won't be doing that, since she was so dismissive about the whole issue. I'm not trying to be a brat, but I feel like we should get to have a little input about the party, and that some effort should be made to get the correct info out to people. Any suggestions? Help!

    #2 estella1007

    • Jr. Member
    • 475 posts

      Posted 16 September 2009 - 12:02 AM

      My best friend had an invite situation just last week. Her awful FMIL mailed out invites for her rehearsal dinner. They were awful. Like dollar store, fill in the blank kind. Nowhere on the invite did she write the bride and groom's name, so if you were involved in more than 1 wedding, you would have no clue who the rehearsal was for. And the best part was that she only put the time and place of the restaurant, which obviously happens AFTER the rehearsal at the church. Nowhere on there does it mention the church. My friend even made sure that she told FMIL about the time to meet at the church, and to make sure it was clearly written on the invite. My friend had to go and make brand new invites the next day, and got tons of calls asking why 2 separate invites went out. Can you believe her FMIL had the nerve to be pissed off about her sending out new invites! The whole point of the rehearsal dinner is to REHEARSE the wedding at the church! I guess my point is, sometimes you need to do things regardless of the drama it may cause. After all it IS your wedding, and you want your guests to show up. How can that happen if they can't even be sure that the invite is correct.

      #3 Queenie77

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      • 48 posts

        Posted 16 September 2009 - 12:42 AM

        That's even worse than my situation! In our case, I hope mapquest works well, because they didn't include directions or a map to the estate. I also forgot to mention part of the reason these were a mess was that my MIL was too busy packing for a trip to Vegas to really focus carefully on what she was doing with these invites. But she takes off for a vacay, instructing me to go pick the invites up, address them and get them in the mail because she didn't want them to wait to get mailed until she got back. She had procrastinated too long, and then dumped them off in my lap. The deal is that I paid for $300 worth of envelopes and postage, and then I was also left with 300 hideous invites to deal with that weren't even my design. They went in the mail after my mom sat and glued my MIL's design together - because my MIL failed to mention that they wouldn't be assembled when I picked them up. Not even a thank you for doing what should have been my MIL's work.

        Last spring, my mom and I spent days cutting 900 boarding cards by hand, and then attaching 3 cards together to form 300 boarding pass invites. Then I had to do a manual feed on my printer... feeding 300 envelopes one at a time. We laughed at the time and said we would never do it again - and then here we were, assembling and printing and stuffing and sealing for someone who dumped the dirty work off on us and took off for vacation. It's not like I personally have the money or the time to reprint, and then buy additional postage for 300 invites... and I don't think I should have to, since I wasn't the one who messed up in the first place. They had three opportunities to proof what the printer had done - and they missed everything each time. Now they're just blowing it off like it's no big deal. I'm so mad I can't see straight.

        #4 super19

        • Sr. Member
        • 1,123 posts

          Posted 16 September 2009 - 01:22 PM

          This is awful! I'm so sorry you are going through all of this. I would be so livid. The comment about the gyno is SO WRONG on so many levels. Not to mention that you had to complete her half done project. She seriously has some nerve!

          I would either send out decent invites or a correction letter. You can't control the actions of your MIL and clearly she isn't interested in helping resolve the situation. I would take the matter into my own hands and make things right.

          #5 Vikki

          • Member
          • 807 posts

            Posted 16 September 2009 - 02:49 PM

            Ugh. I'm frustrated for you on this one. I can't believe she could be so careless. It reflects so poorly on her to do that, especially for the type of party she has been trying to pull off. If she worked half as hard on your invites as she has on redoing your reception wishes you wouldn't be in this mess. Good luck.

            #6 blumenthale

            • Jr. Member
            • 242 posts

              Posted 16 September 2009 - 04:35 PM

              MILs can be pretty bad. I guess get the information you need out. The thing with a MIL is that you may never get an apology or feel better about the situation. Just learn from it. Don't trust her to do anything else. The important people to you know that you didn't create these invites.
              Just keep venting here, so when you see her, you won't rip her head off. My MIL won't come to our wedding because she is afraid she'll sold into the "white slave trade." Seriously. She actually believes this. I heard it with my own ears. Thank god we likve 500 miles away from her.

              #7 damaris

              • Jr. Member
              • 462 posts

                Posted 16 September 2009 - 04:46 PM

                I suggest you have your husband talk to his stepmom and dad and try to sort out the party. He has the longest relationship there and should put his foot down. Regardless of who's paying its your party. As far as the invites, look at the bright side! (yes there is one) because she messed up so badly that is your excuse to have to resend correct (albeit better) ones
                65 BOOKED PLUS BRIDE & GROOM


                #8 SusieQ

                • Sr. Member
                • 1,603 posts

                  Posted 16 September 2009 - 05:19 PM

                  I don't know what to say to make you feel better, I am just going "oh my"! Oh Dear!!!! I do agree this does have to be fixed and just send something simular explaining the trials were sent in error. At this point I am not sure I'd be sparing feeling though.

                  #9 amandalsu

                  • Newbie
                  • 122 posts

                    Posted 16 September 2009 - 05:27 PM

                    That is so frustrating after you put so much time and effort designing details like the boarding pass invites to represent you and your wedding! I would be livid. I think the best advice so far is to have him talk to his family to make sure the rest of the details go according to plan.

                    Keep venting here to help keep the peace with the new MIL.

                    #10 azulskies

                    • Sr. Member
                    • 1,131 posts

                      Posted 16 September 2009 - 08:03 PM

                      That is so awful! Yes they may be hosting this reception but that looks bad on you guys! I also think your husband should talk with them and get it all straightened out. If they have all this money and are throwing this huge party, I don't know why it seemed necessary to her to DIY. Especially if she had other things to do. Sorry you have to deal with this. It'll all work out!


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