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MsShelley

Very Irritating!!

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Quote:
Originally Posted by BRIDEZILLA View Post
This is more than just a planning forum, it is an DW Bride support group!

I feel better already! It is amazing getting this stuff off my chest. Why do wedding bring out the best AND the worst in people?

It will all work out somehow....
thank you! and I really hope so, and yours will work out too!
I half feel like if they really wanted to go, they would go, but I know it is upsetting him...

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I think at one point or another we have all heard that from people. I even changed my location because of it and we still have people saying, well its on a friday, we can't afford the hotel ($99 per night) etc.

When planning any wedding no matter where it is, you will inevitably get someone saying something negative, but if this is your dream and what you want for YOUR wedding, then unfortunately you will miss out on having some people there. As much as we would like to say that our guests have been given notice, its hard to save money (and a lot of people are not good with money and have no idea how to save)

They will still be able to share your pictures/video

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I totally feel for you ladies. I am at my early planning stages and already feel strange vibes from people. However I am very sensitive and over analyze everything. This weekend we went to visit my FI's father and step mom for fathers day. We haven;t seen them since we set a date and location. I was disappointed and hurt that no one bothered to ask me about me wedding plans. I brought it up to a few people but it felt like it wasn;t a big deal to them. I could totally be over thinking this but its how I felt. I think we all need to remember we are not being selfish, how is it being selfish when it is our wedding not theirs? While my FSIL was planning her wedding last year I feel as though I supported every choice she made because it was what she made.

jess

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shelley - i dont have much to add (funny how that phrase is usually followed but a long, boring monologue!). i think any wedding planning has the potential to raise the family dynamics to a whole new level and especially destination weddings.

 

i recently shot a wedding in RM where there were 10 people - that included the bride and groom. all friends. they were planning an AHR to include more people and that seemed to be a good solution for them. i think you have to do what you want to do. its your wedding!!! i know easier said than done. i feel like theres a bit of emotional blackmailing going on here.

 

the only drama surrounding my wedding in 05 was related to my then future FIL. the drama never ends with him. im so glad i didnt change anything i wanted on my wedding day to please him. cause guess what? there is no pleasing him.

 

probably havent been much help. but just know you arent alone in this situation. wishing you the best - leigh

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Quote:
Originally Posted by jesswins View Post
I totally feel for you ladies. I am at my early planning stages and already feel strange vibes from people. However I am very sensitive and over analyze everything. This weekend we went to visit my FI's father and step mom for fathers day. We haven;t seen them since we set a date and location. I was disappointed and hurt that no one bothered to ask me about me wedding plans. I brought it up to a few people but it felt like it wasn;t a big deal to them. I could totally be over thinking this but its how I felt. I think we all need to remember we are not being selfish, how is it being selfish when it is our wedding not theirs? While my FSIL was planning her wedding last year I feel as though I supported every choice she made because it was what she made.
jess
Jess, you sound just like me - I'm also very sensitive and tend to over analyze everything!

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Do what you always wanted, be sellfish , is your big day.. you cant be trying to place the things to make every person feel better and happy!!! its going to be almost impossible.. so just take care of what you and your FI want and dreamed about this day!!!

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We've had a lot of negative responses----

 

***My oldest brother makes twice as much as we do and has half the living costs, but he can't afford it because he flies all over the country for special events in his in-law families.

 

***My other brother won't go because he's too irresponsible to afford it. He bitches about paying $300/mo child support.

 

***My parents can't attend (age/health). I can tell my dad isn't happy that we're getting married away from his area.

 

***FI's oldest sister definitely won't even entertain the idea of going even tho she is a 30 year union employee of SBC and money is only an issue when she wants it to be.

 

***FI's other sister will probably back out at the last minute on the grounds that things like having HBO/Showtime are more important than saving for our wedding.

 

***My aunt sent us a letter basically saying we should have the wedding closer to my parents and that if we're not married in the Church, she won't attend.

 

 

It happens to all of us. This is why I'm a huge advocate of being very cautious about who you invite---- be prepared for the responses you'll get from people because they might surprise you with how good they are or how nasty & rude they are...

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Wow!! Luckily I don't have as bad of issues as these.

 

It's amazing how people see things differently. I just assume I guess that everyone wants to go on vacation if the opportunity showed itself and the money was available. I love going on vacation and getting away. Even it's only 2 or 3 days. I didn't realize so many people would rather stay home. I have found some of that through my planning but not as much as you guys...I guess if anything it's a learning experience for us all that everyone has different perspectives on life and priorities.

 

Good luck you guys!!

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I'm with you on this as well. NONE of my family attended our wedding. And my best friend flaked out too. We have 6 guest there and to be honest, I was really sad at first that no one from my side went. Fast forward to the week we were in Cabo, and I could have cared less. We had fun, did what we wanted to do and I opened my eyes to think "if we really matter the "X" then they would have been there". I got a ton of slack from people too about them thinking I should have an AHR but these are the same peope who could have gone to the wedding. So piss on them.. :-)

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oh, I love these threads!! Its your wedding don't feel bad for doing what you want to do!

 

Like everyone else, we have the people that can't be bothered to come to our wedding even though they've had 10 months to save for it and will blow money on other crap with no problem.

 

My family booked, no questions asked, I gave them the info, they did it, they never said we can't do it, its too expensive, etc...

 

FI's family on the other hand he has called over & over again, and has told them he really wants at least one of them to be there, he has no family coming and they all say oh, we don't have the money, he's says, thats crap you have plenty of money, well, we really just don't want to go to mexico. Now my FI LOVES to travel, we're already planning all of the places we want to visit, and it really annoys him that his family is so close minded and will never go anywhere in there life, he just gets so mad.

 

Anyway, I feel really bad that none of his family is coming, but 6 of his friends have booked, so he's ecstatic about that, I have no friends coming.

 

We've also had so many people say, well you're going to have a reception when you get back, right? Ummm, no we're not. At first I liked the idea of having an AHR, but now, I'm just so annoyed with the people that aren't coming that should be that I don't want to, should I have a reception just to please everyone else?

 

Ok, I've gone on way too long, someone tell me to shut up!

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