Awkward wedding/roommate situation
Posted 14 August 2009 - 12:24 PM
The facebook thing is totally weird, maybe she doesnt realize its not private.
Posted 14 August 2009 - 02:11 PM
| Originally Posted by gossip girl |
Wow that is so awkward and weird!!!
I don't even know what to say except since they are moving anyway, you could approach her and say "hey biatch, I got this shower invite in the mail but I never received an invitation to your wedding. Am I invited? Or are you just the most awkward tacky person out there?"
Ok that would be my response but should that not be your style, maybe in a different way just be upfront about it and ask if you are invited! Clearly it's weird cause time has passed. But what do you really have to lose? The worst she says is sorry we're having a really small wedding blah blah blah and then you can just go ahead and RSVP "no" to the shower and take her off your invite list!
It could be that she just overlooked it and figured you would just assume you were invited since you are roommates and have known each other awhile!!
And I thought about that, maybe she just assumed I would assume we were invited. But...I don't want it to be like I'm inviting myself if they hadn't invited us.
Posted 14 August 2009 - 02:22 PM
I'm just trying to chalk it up to them just having a weird way of dealing with things, and being constantly tethered to their computers. That's just the way we function, as much as it makes me ashamed of my generation. But it really does seem incredibly tacky to me.
FI and I aren't traditional by any means but there are still some aspects of a wedding that seem like they deserve more respect than making it a facebook event. But that's just my opinion.
It's also possible I'm only noticing how odd this situation is because I'm planning a wedding too and know how things are normally done. It definitely has made me more critical of other weddings(not to sound mean, I just couldn't think of a better word than critical, still working on my first cup of coffee)
Posted 14 August 2009 - 02:47 PM
I would ignore the facebook RSVP and wait until she either asks or you have an official invite in hand. Now whether to attend the shower is completely up to you. Typically I would think it would be rude to invite someone to the shower and not the wedding. It's like "hey- give me a present!" I'd also assume that she gave names to whoever is throwing the shower as people to invite. So I'm assuming that you are also invited to the wedding. But hey- you never know these days because people are kinda wonky.
Posted 14 August 2009 - 03:01 PM
I think I'll go with just waiting it out. If they don't tell people where or when it is before they expect them to RSVP, it should be kinda expected that people may have other plans and can't come.
As far as the bridal shower, I'm not going to request it off from work so if I get scheduled, there's my easy out(awful I know) and if I am off that day, I'll go because she has been my friend since we were 7, I haven't seen her family in awhile, and if nothing else, it's free food
Posted 16 August 2009 - 08:17 PM
If I was you I would get a few beers in for everyone and start a conversation about how you're finding it hard to narrow down your guest list for your DW. Then you could bring it round to how she managed to choose and maybe slip in the fact that you're thrilled to have got the shower given that things are a bit tense. Hopefully that could then lead to talking about the wedding and you could mention that she's not definitely invited you. Syaing it jokily could allow you to get away with it without being too confrontational as well!
good luck with it!
Posted 16 August 2009 - 09:10 PM
Posted 20 August 2009 - 02:22 AM
| Originally Posted by SSNM |
Hmm...it seems to me that they tried to invite people to their wedding via facebook and so they requested addresses to send actual invitations -- the OP didn't respond, but in fairness they are roommates so she shouldn't have to. Then they (someone) sent shower invitations, probably because the shower usually precedes the wedding. It sounds to me that you are invited, they just chose a less orthodoxed way of doing it.
Posted 21 August 2009 - 01:45 AM
Posted 02 September 2009 - 10:15 PM
Last Saturday was her shower and as a gesture of goodwill, I went. Our other roommate went too and we got her a present from both of us, just a bunch of kitchen stuff off their registry. Nothing too crazy.
She seemed pretty surprised to see us, and even more surprised that we brought her something.
So while she was opening the card with our present, she commented on the shimmery envelope the card was in and how her invitation envelopes were like that too. Then her mouth drops open and she looks up at us and says, oh my gosh I forgot to get you guys your invitations, I figured I wouldn't send them since we live together and I don't know where they went. We just laughed it off, and the past week has been better even at home. No snide remarks or avoidance, I think us going to her shower made the difference.
So I guess now I know to expect it. Even though it would be nice if I had the invitation by now so I can know when it is considering October is next month. But oh well.
I feel bad for picking it apart so much, especially on here.
But hey, that's what we ladies do right? Especially when it comes to weddings.
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