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SDSteph

So sad and confused!

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I agree with everyone else.. I think that almost all of us have been through the family guilt thing; so I am glad that you are feeling better about it.

 

FI's elderly grandmother and aunt were not happy about our DW either... we are going to the courthouse in their town to get married with them as witnesses so it will be something special just for them.

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I agree with the other girls; you can't please everyone and ultimately, when you look back on your wedding day, the biggest thing is that the TWO OF YOU were happy.

 

BUT, I will say this. Reading your initial post, it's clear that a BIG part of your happiness is spending this day with family. If it turns out that you have a large number of family members either unwilling or unable to make the trip, you may want to consider a contingency/back up plan. Not because it's fair, but just because it sounds like you may not be a bride who can be happy if everyone she loves isn't there for her wedding day. You can't control whether or not they all show. You can only do what you feel in your gut will make you happiest. Its something to think about...

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Girl my own Mother wasn't on board with the DW until about a month before we left. She kept saying it wasn't fair that so-and-so wouldn't be there, who I had to nicely remind her I haven't seen in 5 years. Whenever she would say something I would just say, "oh are you offering to pay for a full-blown wedding here?" In a sort of laughing but not really tone. Since she wasn't, I was like then Mexico it is!! I had to use that line a few times with different people.

 

I wouldn't have changed a thing, I had an amazing time, and so did she!! :)

 

...and so will you! When you come back home, you will be going home to your husband not your Grandma, so do what makes you two happy!

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Sounds like we're all in the same boat! My parents were NOT happy with our choice at first...I told them unless they wanted to pay for a local wedding, I didn't want to hear their complaining for the next year, if they were so against it, don't come!

But I was torn because I'm very close to my 96 year old Grandad and I feel terrible that he won't be able to be there.

 

However, we decided to make him the 'best man' for the legal marriage here in Toronto. He is super excited about it and it's all he can talk about now.

 

It's your wedding and as hard as it seems, do what YOU want!

 

Good luck

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Quote:
Originally Posted by MegaShay View Post
Sorry to hear you're dealing with this. What about a small DW and a large AHR that your grandparents can attend? That's what we're doing and it seems to have made everybody happy.
MegaShay great idea!!!!!!!!!!!!1

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Thanks Guys, So I am going to do it. I hope some people will come around while others can head out here to vegas, spend hundreds of dollars gambling, and wish they went to mexico. Ha ha JK but I will be sad if some wont make it but Like many of you said, I am only going to have one wedding so I want to to be how I want it. :P

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Recession!!!! No one can afford a local wedding anymore.I agree with the other ladies.Everytime when there is a wedding everyone has something to say.Don't let any one try to play the "Intimidation Game "on either one of you.I been there.The DARKSIDE eventually came out and everyone knew THEN I was not so easily intimidated.

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