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Kind of "disappointed and offended" by FMIL's response

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#21 mich999

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    Posted 14 May 2009 - 02:39 PM

    Great email!!

    #22 sarafish81

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      Posted 14 May 2009 - 04:32 PM

      Originally Posted by TA Maureen
      I agree with Carly and Tami. I understand that you are upset but I have never really heard of anyone asking to have an AHR thrown for them. It's kind of like asking someone to throw a shower for you. She might have been taken aback just by the request not the fact that it's you or the second wife or anything like that.
      I agree as well. Keep in mind too, that sometimes e-mail has a way of having a "tone" that may not be there if you were speaking on the phone or face-to-face.

      #23 YoursTruly

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        Posted 14 May 2009 - 04:52 PM

        I think that unfortunately you are at a disadvantage because FI has fed you so many negative hints. I did not think she was being rude at all but quite welcoming.

        #24 JOSIE

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          Posted 14 May 2009 - 05:26 PM

          Good Email Vikki, I think you did the right thing. Will you keep us posted on her response!?

          #25 Vikki

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            Posted 14 May 2009 - 06:59 PM

            I had the following email from the FMIL in response to mine:

            That is ok!!! We would just love to have you home for Christmas!!! You will have fun! And you will get to meet all the crazies!! HA! I may have to come earlier this summer than I wanted - I wanted to come over my b-day - but we have stuff at church going on that weekend soooo I was wondering if I could come over the 4th of July or the weekend of the 11th? Thinking about coming on a Thursday and going home on Tuesday or Wed. You all talk about it and let me know what works for you. Love you all!! Mom #2

            This is actually the most laid back she's ever been with me-maybe it's a good thing all this happened-kind of like a backwards icebreaker. Obviously not my best moment but I think it might actually make things better. FI and I are now talking about how what he says impacts what I think and the opinions I form about his family. And it looks like I'll have a chance to start my own relationship with her in July-not the one I have through FI.

            My very own "after school special" lesson. Thanks for all the honest feedback-maybe next time I'll think twice before I put my foot in my mouth.

            #26 jajajaja

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              Posted 14 May 2009 - 07:04 PM

              awww...that was a sweet email. I really hope you and your FMIL really start your relationship off on a better foot. She couldn't have been sweeter!
              Happily married since 2008

              #27 destination

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                Posted 14 May 2009 - 08:01 PM

                I just tuned in, but have a couple of thoughts... First and foremost I am glad it worked out!! Sometimes there is a bit of a generational aversion to email in general, and especially in the case of conversations where it is beneficial to get an emotional reading from the person you are communicating with a phone call is better for both parties. That avoids needless hurt feelings and removes the possibility for mistaking a tone that doesn't exist.

                #28 JOSIE

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                  Posted 14 May 2009 - 08:33 PM

                  Yay! I'm so glad to hear her response!! It looks like there is definitely a lot of progress being made and you got some great advice from the girls in BDW! I personally don't know much about ettiquite either and can see myself making a similar mistake. I'm so happy this worked out for you!!!! I hope you and the FI and the FMIL live happily ever after :)

                  #29 tylersgirl

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                    Posted 15 May 2009 - 01:04 AM

                    Vikki-that was such a great email that you sent FMIL-very well said. I am so happy to hear her most recent response!! YAY! She sounds very supportive and excited about being your #2 mom-that is so cute she wrote that!

                    #30 boscobel

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                      Posted 15 May 2009 - 11:03 AM

                      I love her response as well! And I agree with you, perhaps this did act to break the tension (for lack of better word) and now you two can start fresh. I am really also glad that you spoke to your FI about how his words affect you and your opinions/thoughts/feelings.

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