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Wedding Vent!!!!

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#21 ~Melissa~


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Posted 21 May 2007 - 05:21 PM

Hi hun, I feel for you and honestly don't know what to say. I agree with the girls in that you need to stand up for yourself and most of all Erik needs to be more direct with his mother too.

Bottom line this is YOURS and ERIKS wedding, no one elses. When it comes down to it no one else should matter (but unfortunaltley they always do). Who cares if its short notice?! If it's important to these people they will show up and if not, well it's not meant to be.

Either way i think your wedding will work out and everything will be unforgettable in a good way Keep your head up Andrea.... and tell the FMIL who the bride is. hehe

#22 DreaW

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    Posted 21 May 2007 - 09:24 PM

    thanks girls....
    I talked to Erik and basically he said that I had to talk to her. So she and I will have a talk when I come back from San Francisco this weekend. I'm going to show her the cost of the food and beverage that we are going to have and the amount of people we can have at ceremony and reception location at Casa Madrona....then I'm going to tell her that to make it even, we will not have a rehersal, nor rehersal dinner so she then can pay for half of the guest list (food and beverage with 20% gratuity and 7.75% tax) and my mom will pay for her half (food and beverage with 20 % and 7.75%) (which my mom budgeted 40 people....

    So my mom will pay for her 40 people (all Ramirez's) and Carol will pay for her 40+ people (all Wade's).

    We'll see if Carol (FMIL) will like this proposition....if not I'm going to tell her to go back to original idea of 20 and 20 and my mom will pay all.

    I'll let you know what happens after this weekend. Cross your fingers that it goes well.

    oh yeah I'm going to tell her she needs to help with extra invitations if she chooses choice #1 (more guest=split down middle)


    #23 Christine

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    Posted 21 May 2007 - 09:27 PM

    Go For It Andrea! Keep your foot down firmly planted down!!!!
    Christine + Will (married 7/20/07) + Ainsleigh (born 6/25/08) + Nolan (born 11/9/10) + Delaney (born 12/31/13) = One Very Happy Family!

    #24 PaulaV

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      Posted 22 May 2007 - 12:45 PM

      That sounds fair.
      Good luck talking to her next week Drea!

      #25 soulmates

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        Posted 22 May 2007 - 12:59 PM

        I think that's fair!!! But remember to stand your ground. Let us know how it goes.

        #26 Sarah


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          Posted 22 May 2007 - 01:58 PM

          Wow Andrea- I'm coming in late to this but I'm glad to see you have a plan in mind now and that you are going to put your foot down. Stick to your guns- this is YOUR wedding!

          I must have missed out on whatever happened that made you change from Cabo- so much happened while I was gone! But, with that said, I seriously agree with Natasha- elope to Cabo & forget all the drama!

          #27 TATrisha


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          Posted 22 May 2007 - 02:07 PM

          I'm proud of you Drea. Just be careful. She needs to know that Erik is backing you up on this, otherwise she might start to have ill feelings towards you which could lead to even more problems in the future. Could you guys talk to her together?


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          #28 MikkiStreak

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            Posted 22 May 2007 - 02:18 PM

            Here's another aspect to think about----

            If she has to start paying for her own guests, is she going to want a say in the planning also? And do you feel like you can handle that if it becomes problematic?

            I think it's great that you are willing to put your foot down and diplomatically give her an option or two in regards to the guest list. That shows a willingness to work with his family and include them in the wedding process.

            But, from the *limited* perspective I have on this from just reading your posts about the wedding issues over the last couple weeks, I gotta say--- I think Erik is being a real weiner for not stepping up to the plate to talk to his mom.

            I know you didn't say anything about what his reasons are for not being willing to talk to her about this, so I know there's probably more to it than you've written. But from what you've written previously, it sounds like you've made all the compromises about your wedding to make him comfortable--- and now his mom is asking for something (a larger guest list) that is part of what he freaked out about before---- that just doesn't make sense to me, I guess...

            At the very least, I agree that he should be present for the conversation and lead the discussion. This is also his wedding and he's the one who set the limit on the headcount.

            #29 A10CalGal

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              Posted 22 May 2007 - 02:18 PM

              Well I'm glad you've got a plan, but why is Erik not involved in this discussion? It's his mother...I really encourage you to ask him to at least be there to back you up. You shouldn't have to be the "bad guy", you know?

              #30 MikkiStreak

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                Posted 22 May 2007 - 02:25 PM

                Originally Posted by A10CALGAL
                Well I'm glad you've got a plan, but why is Erik not involved in this discussion? It's his mother...I really encourage you to ask him to at least be there to back you up. You shouldn't have to be the "bad guy", you know?
                I agree on this one----

                It seems from your posts the last few weeks, that you've made all the concessions about the wedding in order to keep Erik happy with the plans. The location has changed, the guest list size has changed, etc.... and if I remember correctly from your previous postings, it was because Erik "freaked out" (so to speak) and was threatening to call everything off because he wanted a really small wedding.

                What was his reason behind saying you had to be the one to talk to his mother about this?

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