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YaelM

Ideas to include my brother

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So, we are having 3 BM and 3 GM and 2 of the GM are FI's brothers. We decided this about 9 months ago. This week, my only brother tells me he is disappointed that he is not standing up in the wedding. I have asked him to do a reading and introduce us at the reception since we are using an IPOD. Any other ideas of how to include him? We have already decided on the wedding party and don't want to add him just because he feels neglected (he is 29 years old). My mom is pressuring me, too. Thoughts? Help!

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it's what you guys want, if he's not satisfied with doing a reading and the introduction then he will have to get over it. Or you could let him do a toast at the reception. I am having my friend who is not in the wedding party do the toast on both of our behalves, she introduced us.

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He can always stand up on your side - my friend had 3 BMs stand with her and she had her brother stand with her on her side :)

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I guess it depends on how he feels neglected. Some people would probably be more offended if you asked them to do speeches without giving them the honor of being in the bridal party, but if he just wants to be included then it's not a bad solution. You could also get him to act as an usher and welcome/seat people at the ceremony.

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Honestly, If your brother expressed his disappointment and you truely feel he's disappointed you need to find someway to incorporate him so that he is not an after thought. I'm strugging with a simular situation with my only brother who is not currently in the wedding. For me in the long run its easier just to add him in (and have a wedding party of 4men and 3women) Think about his feeling too and how long you will have to deal with the backlash of keeping him out. I know he may throw your numbers off but in the long run it might just be better to bite the bullet and be off. Have your maid of honor walk back down the aisle with two groomsmen.

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I'm sure this is not your situation but I am asking my brother to walk me down the aisle because my dad likely won't be coming and my dad and I are not close anyways. Not the tradition but DW aren't supposed to be. Maybe he could walk you down with your dad? Maybe you can also designate a "special" dance with just him and you like the father/daughter dance does or the mother/son dance. It would be really special to me to have a dance with my brother.

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