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Suggestions for Incorporating Child Into Vows/Ceremony

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#1 Scarletina

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    Posted 11 March 2009 - 07:16 PM

    I have a nine year old daughter with my ex. This is my first marriage and my fiance and I want to somehow incorporate my daughter in our ceremony and possibly vows but we are not sure how to do this. I don't really want her to have a role in the wedding- she is too old for flower girl and I feel weird with her being a BM or Jr BM. I thought about having her do the unity sand with us- and will likely do that - but I want to be able to have her and my fiance do a little thing together. I have not attended many weddings in my time so I would love to hear what you girls have seen done or have done yourself!

    Thanks in advance!



    #2 Sapphire723

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    • 888 posts

      Posted 11 March 2009 - 07:20 PM

      I think having her do a part of the sand ceremony is great. You could also have your FI and daughter exchange mini-vows of their own.... such as "I, FI, take you to love and protect as my own daughter" sort of thing.

      You could also have her do some sort of reading if she'd be comfortable with it.

      #3 msemi305

      • Jr. Member
      • 162 posts

        Posted 11 March 2009 - 11:05 PM

        I Like the idea of the mini vowes - but I have also seen people do the ring ceremoney with everyone to "blend" the family together. You and your FI could do the normal ring cermoeny and then give a ring to your daughter together with the same meaning. That way she has something tangable to have.
        best of luck

        #4 Beautiful Bride

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          Posted 12 March 2009 - 03:16 PM

          I have a similar situation, but kind of the opposite. My Fiance has a 15 yr old daughter that we want to incoporate into the ceremony but, we aren't sure how either. We have discussed having her walk him down the aisle to "give him away" or possibly being a BM.....I'm not sure on that one either. Maybe you could do something like that. Also, if she's not a BM or Jr BM, where will she sit for the reception? I'm having trouble with that one.


          #5 lil_miss_frogg

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          • 826 posts

            Posted 12 March 2009 - 04:17 PM

            The company I am going through for my wedding has an option of using vows w/ children...here they are:

            Often marriage is viewed as the union of two persons. In reality, marriage is much broader. It is always a joining of families.

            As part of the family nature of this marriage we recognize Children and their importance to this family.

            Children you will have a share in this marriage, for your lives will be touched by the promises made by your mother and father today. Your participation will be needed to develop the bonds of this new family. We now ask you to promise that you will all join together to create a family of mutual help, respect and support.

            We ask that you help to create a home and a way of life in which all of you may grow into the best people you can be. In this spirit, will you pledge to continue to grow together and honor this new family for all the days that follow?

            The children respond: “We will.”

            Groom and Bride, as you give yourselves to one another in love and loyalty, will you also promise always to keep room in your new life together for Children? Will you commit yourselves to respect and honor them as individuals and members of this family? Will you pledge to cherish, encourage and tenderly care for them as long as they need you?

            Couple responds: “We will.”

            As a symbol of the two families joined as one today, a special gift will now be presented to each of you. As you receive your token of family unity, always remember the love that has brought all of you together and that will guide you and nurture you in the years ahead.

            (Give medallions to children)

            It is my pleasure to present to you Groom and Bride in their new relationship as husband and wife and their children Children.

            We will be using these vows....or something similar.

            My Babies
            "Love isn't about finding a perfect person,
            it's seeing an imperfect person perfectly!"

            #6 big3n09

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              Posted 12 March 2009 - 04:30 PM

              Those vows are really nice. I am getting 3 children and have none of my own, however I'm not sure they or I would be comfortable with those vows. I want to do the sand ceremony if they want to participate or even go with us, so the situation is def still in the air for us.
              4/1/11 in St. Kitts at the Marriott I married my best-friend!!!

              #7 Scarletina

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              • 85 posts

                Posted 12 March 2009 - 06:07 PM

                Those are great vows! I am definitely going to run it by my fiance.

                As far as where she will sit- that is a very good question. I haven't even started to think about where people will sit! LOL!
                37 CABINS BOOKED AND COUNTING!!



                #8 DarcyJAde

                • Jr. Member
                • 305 posts

                  Posted 17 March 2009 - 10:03 AM

                  I have a 13 year old son. He will be a goomsmen and we will also be doing the sand ceremony. I had not even thought of the vows yet, but I think this is a very nice option.

                  [/SIGPIC] 40 PEOPLE BOOKED!!!

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