Hmm...I have to say I'd be disappointed also if I spend a ton of $ to fly somewhere and see a friend/relative get married and not at least be able to share their special day with them eating a meal and celebrating! I also agree that the cocktail party would be more appropriate for an AHR, if you really want to do the cocktail party. Granted, most of these resorts are all-inclusive, but really, you may not even need to do a privatized sit-down dinner. You could even do a semi-private dinner which would be in one of their restaurants amongst the other patrons, and just have a section for you and your guests reserved.
Best of luck!