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Rethinking a DW

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#1 dushantz

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    Posted 10 February 2009 - 02:40 AM

    I started looking into a DW because I love to travel, I heard it was much cheaper and it would cut down on the guest list significantly.

    Since then I'm finding out that maybe a DW is not for me. I wanted to cut down on the guest list because the thought of 100+ people watching me ALL day produces a lot of anxiety. But looking through some real wedding pictures I've come to realize that at many AI resorts you are having your wedding on the beach or gazebo and there are just a lot of random people around. To me this is a much worse situation. I have tried to find more private options. It seems boutique hotels are outside our maximum guest budget (1500cad/person from Toronto AI) and villas are just too complicated (both our parents are divorced - would need seperate residences etc.).

    Plus I can't seem to get over the guilt associated with spending that much money...on a party (I'm not religious). I just keep thinking about all the other things to spend it on...downpayment on a house, student loans, travel...

    I've just been feeling lately like I want to just head to the courthouse one afternoon and get it over with.

    Has anyone else felt like this?

    Do you know of a way to solve my anxiety about onlooker situation? More private locations you are aware of?

    Thanks for listening venting thread...

    #2 Jacilynda

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      Posted 10 February 2009 - 02:53 AM

      Hi Hun! You have a lot of good points. Especially w/ money being spent on a house or loans, etc. Really its what you want, it is your day. What does your FI think? I loved the DW idea because of travel and minimal people, at least compared to being at home. I think privacy partly has to do when and where you want DW. We are having a non resort wedding in August and the place we are at usually has no one, or only a couple people at our time and the hotel is the only one on that bay. It will pretty much just be us.

      Get an idea of what FI is wanting and go from there.

      #3 dushantz

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        Posted 10 February 2009 - 05:18 PM

        where are you having your non-resort wedding? I'm open to options.

        I've been looking into off-resort locations for ceremony/reception with the group staying at an AI so everyone is happy.

        #4 boven

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        • 193 posts

          Posted 10 February 2009 - 05:49 PM

          I know planning a DW can be overwhelming especially with the issues you mentioned. We are of a similar mentality to you about wanting a private experience (absolutely do not want a bunch of on-lookers in Speedos) and feeling guilty about the costs associated with a wedding. I believe it can be done!

          One of the ways we are trying to manage this is that we are looking into smaller, non-touristy areas for the ceremony, reception, and stay such as Tulum in the Mayan Riviera. This way, there's not as much traffic on the beach so it will feel more intimate. There are a few AI hotels in the area, but many others are small hotels and some are boutique. Another reason we are highly considering this area is because there is a range of hotels that can meet a variety of budgets (ie, $75.00 per night to $250.00).

          Again, I know it's overwhelming, but I am confident that if a DW is what you want, you will be able to pull it off in a way that feels right for you and your FI.

          #5 Debs

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            Posted 10 February 2009 - 05:59 PM

            There are resorts like Dreams Cancun where the wedding gazebo is RIGHT up on the water where there are no onlookers.

            Honestly, you can spend a little or a lot on a DW just like a traditional wedding. We got married in the DR, Punta Cana. Our resort included a free wedding package and we had 10 people with us. Besides my dress (which was a bridesmaid dress done in white... $250) and a couple of extras (fresh flowers and hair/makeup at the spa), our whole trip for the two of us for 2 weeks was not more than $7500. This also included a photographer friend from Toronto that we brought down. We paid for his trip and he shot our pictures for free.

            I don't regret it for a minute.

            Do what you think will truly make you happy on your special day. Yes it's one day, but it's an IMPORTANT one.

            Good luck!

            #6 Jacilynda

            • Sr. Member
            • 2,777 posts

              Posted 10 February 2009 - 11:06 PM

              Originally Posted by dushantz
              where are you having your non-resort wedding? I'm open to options.

              I've been looking into off-resort locations for ceremony/reception with the group staying at an AI so everyone is happy.
              We are doing ours through a hotel in Akumal. It is not an AI but is very cute and fun. Hotel Akumal Caribe It is nicely priced. Alot of our guests are staying in the bungalows which are off the beach a ways, but only $80 a night and there are a bunch of courtyards w/ BBQ's. The grocery store is right there and we are going to costco in PDC and we are just going to BBQ most of the time.

              We are going to just have our wedding on Akumal bay which isn't very busy during August. Our reception is going to be in a large palapa w/ a bar. They also have another ceremony location out in front of the cannon house. If you just want a ceremony their fee is $150 but like us if you do your reception w/ them the ceremony site is free. They have a WC that they normally use but she was too much for us. We negotiated w/ another to help us out. They don't have wedding packages, which I've liked cause the owner, Laura, allows us to do pretty much anything we want. The owners sister owns the only villa on Akumal bay. It's available to rent for $5500 a week w/ a pool and everything and I think you have 10 people in there, I'll have to check to be sure. We had a bunch of miscommunications so they have made a great deal for us to stay in that villa. My in laws are paying for our accomodations and flights, which only cost 2800 for the 2 of us and our daughter. And our wedding is costing us just under $5000. I think that is great. That covers all of our attire, decor, flowers, cake, OOT bags, photography and food. And we're having 2 different apps at each table, the guests had a choice between, soup or 2 salads, and choice between 4 different dinners. We're having it served like a dinner, and not a buffet. I think its great! Oh, and there are 40 of us.

              Hope that helps if you want more I'd be glad to give you info, etc.

              #7 GracieBebe

              • Jr. Member
              • 354 posts

                Posted 12 February 2009 - 12:14 AM

                I guess it depends on where you want to have your DW. Are you set on the Caribbean? You could always do Europe as a DW. That is what we are doing. FI and I rented an entire castle for our wedding and are only going to have about 20-24 people attending. Renting out the entire castle was about 10,000 Euros plus the wedding reception costs and wedding coordinator fee. So, depending on your budget, if this is an affordable option, you should check it out. It will give you privacy, limited guest #, and a fairytale wedding. Check out my wedding website to see pictures of the castle and see if you would be interested in that. Best wishes in your search!
                - Grace
                Location - Chateau de Challain, Challain la Potherie, France
                Engagement Date - Sept. 6, 2008
                Wedding Date - Sept. 9, 2009
                Our Pro wedding photo website:http://fanelliweddin....l&startIndex=0Our wedding planning website:http://www.mywedding...graceandmichael

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