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FILs not contributing

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Both of our families are not helping with the wedding. Nor do we want them to. Tim and I want to do what we want to do with out anyoneâ€s opinions or comments. If they (family) were paying for the wedding then they could have what ever wedding they want, but since we want it our way we are asking for nothing. Also we want a really small wedding and having a DW keeps the guest list down.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tlseege View Post
I personally don't find it necessary for families to contribute if they don't want to. HOWEVER, to me, that means that, number one, they don't end up on the invitation, they get a very limited amount of seats for their invitees, and they really have to keep their mouths shut about decisions. But, that's just my opinion!
i fully agree....we paid for our wedding and did not expect anyone to contribute but we also knew that meant, we wanted no input from them unless asked and since we were paying, we got to do the inviting...

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Thank you for everyone's input. We were/are fully prepared to pay for everything, but my father offered to help with about half of everything so of course I have included him in everything and asked opinions and such.

 

Thanks everyone

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Not that I want to add fuel to the fire...but your FI's stepmother seems outright selfish to me. I don't get it. Seem like if it were just his dad, he'd be willing to help, but stepmom is probably giving him an earful. I bet if it were her son getting married, she be willing to use "their" money to help out. Okay sorry...I realize I'm not helping the situation, but for some reason this really irked me. It's really not the money that bothers me, but the reasoning and intent behind it rubs me the wrong way.

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This is a sore subject for me as well. My sister got married two years ago and I know each of my parents (they are divorced) gave them $5000. My mom may have even given a little more because she didn't like the menu they chose, whatever. So they had a big, close to home wedding so I understand they needed more help. And my parents have to pay to go to mexico, but c'mon, neither one of them has even offered anything to us and more than just the money, it hurts my feelings that my sisters wedding was more important than mine. I would be happy with anything they offered. Well, I say anything, but my mom offered to buy my stamps, and while thats nice, its not really a huge help. Now I sound really ungrateful, but it really hurts me that neither one of them has even offered anything. So they better keep their opinions to themselves.

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That is a hard subject. I agree that it sounds like the step mom is being rather selfish, but then again I don't know the whole story. I do think if your Dad is paying for some of it then they should at least pay for a rehearsal dinner or something. That's just my take on it though.

 

As for us, it would be nice if our parents offered to help but I think just asking them to pay for their own trip is enough.

 

My boyfriend's brother's fiance's parents (ha, that's a mouthful!) is giving her $5,000 but his family isn't giving anything monetarily I don't think. However, his mom is making her wedding dress and probably chipping in on all the little details.

 

Family drama - ugh! Good luck with it all! :)

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