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Getting Rid of a Pet Advice??


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#11 rodent

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    Posted 13 October 2008 - 10:17 AM

    OMG i thought the black cat thing was just because people wanted to have them as a decoration. people can be sick though. someone killed my dad's cat & did some aweful things with it.

    #12 TammyB

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      Posted 13 October 2008 - 10:42 AM

      I totally agree with Tammy on this. If your FI doesn't want to accept the cat as a part of you, then I would be a deal breaker for me. Love me and my pets or get lost, IMO. It's your "cat" this time, what is next? He can love you, for all you are... Not to try to change things about you.

      BTW the Humane Society is a kill shelter, well at least they are in MI. The sad thing is that the shelters are so overwhelmed with cats, and alot of them are PTS (put to sleep) because they just don't have the room for them all. It's a sad truth, if you really have to give your pet up, find it a good home, or MAKE SURE it's a no kill shelter, don't just assume it is. The older cats are harder to adopt out, sad fact.

      #13 **~Jenn~**

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        Posted 13 October 2008 - 11:10 AM

        Quote:
        Originally Posted by Morgan
        OMG i thought the black cat thing was just because people wanted to have them as a decoration. people can be sick though. someone killed my dad's cat & did some aweful things with it.
        I know it's sad, but people still sacrifice Animals and so all of those ceremonies on black cats around halloween time...The shelters will not adopt them out until after for fear of this.
        These poor animals...People just dont understand how important it is to look out for them. :-(
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        #14 DanielleNDerek

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          Posted 13 October 2008 - 11:12 AM

          Personally if my fi told me i had to get rid of either one of my animals, i'd tell him to hit the road. And i would never let him treat them badly. They are like my kids. I wouldnt marry someone who would make me give up something so close to me or be so hurtful to something i love. That being said, my fi isnt like that and i'm sure your in a horrible position.

          My sis used to volunteer for a cat rescue and it's very important that you dont take your cat to a shelter because cats are very hard to adopt out and get put to sleep because there are so many of them that dont have homes. I would look to find a good home for her.
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          #15 boscobel

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            Posted 13 October 2008 - 11:21 AM

            My husband isn't fond of my dog either, cuz she used to belong to my ex. But he knew that I love her and there wasn't a choice on whether she goes where I go. So I agree with the others, I couldn't be with someone who wanted me to get rid of my pet.

            When I moved in wtih Matt, I did allow some compromise in the things Sugar was allowed to do though. Perhaps if you guys did something like that? I mean, I see that he already has "rules", but some of them are extreme and a little ridic. Sugar used to sleep in my bed and was allowed on the furniture before I lived with Matt. Now she has her own bed at the foot of our bed and she loves it. And she isn't allowed on our living room furniture, but she is allowed on the futon in our extra bedroom (craft room). It didn't take her long to learn the difference and now we are all happy with the situation.

            But I have to reiterate that I would never get rid of my pet cuz someone "doesn't like" them. If would be different if the pet was nasty and bit or something, but I'd re-evalute the situationwith your FI and see if you can reach a compromise.

            Perhaps he is using the cat as an excuse for things? Like a scape-goat??

            #16 MonoAmor

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              Posted 13 October 2008 - 12:03 PM

              There is no way that I want to get rid of her. Ive been thinking about it more and I honestly dont think Ide be able to ever. Its so hard trying to make him understand. He comes from a culture that has no respect for animals and dont keep pets, so this is really the first time hes had to live with one. Its so hard to change someones mind and show them how great pets are when they have been raised not to think that. My mom is so worried over the situation because like some of you said, what will happen with kids if he cant deal with a cat? Im starting to really wonder if there is a way to fix this, or if I should be moving on.

              #17 jajajaja

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                Posted 13 October 2008 - 12:56 PM

                I think you can see a lot about a person in how they treat animals. I don't care if they "like" them or not- a respectful, kind hearted person would not treat an animal terribly even if they didn't like them.

                I understand that you say it's your husband's culture to not treat animals with respect, but is it part of his culture to force someone he loves to make a touch decision that could ultimately break their heart? I really can't wrap my brain around that one. My husband may not like some of the things I do but he ALWAYS puts my happiness first. Honestly, your FI can't handle your cat but he's willing to make you sad over it? That's something I would think about.

                Other girls have mentioned the control aspect too. If I were you, I would worry what other compromises you would have to make to make him happy.
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                #18 becks

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                Posted 13 October 2008 - 02:52 PM

                I'm with so many of the girls here. I understand that cultural differences may make it difficult for him to appreciate your kitty. However, I find it very disconcerting that he doesn't appreciate that you are attached to Kitty and that you don't want to get rid of her.

                To me that's absurd. It's not like you yell at his best friend whenever he comes over because you don't like the friend. There is no difference here.

                Maybe you need to sit him down and explain how important Kitty is to you. Maybe he just doesn't understand that point. But if he does and just doesn't care, I'd start standing up for Kitty and for yourself.

                I'm also concerned that there is something more fundamental at hand. Like FI can't tolerate sharing your love and affection. If that's the case Kitty is just the object du jour, and if she goes, it's going to be something else that you love and care about... and then something else... and something else until the only thing of any meaning in your life is FI, because he's forced you to abandon friends and family to prove to him that you love him. And that's wrong on EVERY level.

                Start by talking with him. If he doesn't understand, then I'd really slow down and give this some thought.

                Good luck!!! I'm pulling for you - let us know how it goes!

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                #19 FLgator

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                  Posted 13 October 2008 - 04:26 PM

                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by TammyB

                  BTW the Humane Society is a kill shelter, well at least they are in MI. The sad thing is that the shelters are so overwhelmed with cats, and alot of them are PTS (put to sleep) because they just don't have the room for them all. It's a sad truth, if you really have to give your pet up, find it a good home, or MAKE SURE it's a no kill shelter, don't just assume it is. The older cats are harder to adopt out, sad fact.
                  hmmm....that's strange, I thought all the Humane Society's were no kill, the one I volunteered at in FL was, but I guess they could all be different.

                  #20 DanielleNDerek

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                    Posted 13 October 2008 - 04:47 PM

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by becks
                    Maybe you need to sit him down and explain how important Kitty is to you. Maybe he just doesn't understand that point. But if he does and just doesn't care, I'd start standing up for Kitty and for yourself.

                    I'm also concerned that there is something more fundamental at hand. Like FI can't tolerate sharing your love and affection. If that's the case Kitty is just the object du jour, and if she goes, it's going to be something else that you love and care about... and then something else... and something else until the only thing of any meaning in your life is FI, because he's forced you to abandon friends and family to prove to him that you love him. And that's wrong on EVERY level.

                    Start by talking with him. If he doesn't understand, then I'd really slow down and give this some thought.
                    Good advice. Like Becks said i think you should have a sitdown with him and explain to him how much you care for your cat.
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