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Father daughter dance - NO


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#11 Hartyt509

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    Posted 29 September 2008 - 02:31 PM

    Why don't you just skip it altogether and that sorts it out.

    We don't do that in the UK there is only the dance of the bride and groom and we aren't even doing that.

    I mean the way I feel about FMIL FI wouldn't trust me not to load up "who let the dogs out" when it was her turn lmao

    Seriously tho if you don't want to do it don't its nothing to do with anyone else.

    I think my aunt is seriously pissed that i'm not getting her to walk me down the aisle but i'm asking my friend's husband! In all honestly I'll get my friend to do it but only because she won't let me run for the hills lmao

    Upshot is do what YOU want screw everyone else if they are upset they can suck it up and deal with it, the wedding is not about them its about you and FI x

    #12 trophywife

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      Posted 30 September 2008 - 05:57 AM

      I cant wait to hear all the advice because I'm in a similar boat. My Dad cheated on my Mom and chose his mistress whom he married and her kids over me. I didn't really talk to him much for 9 years and then when she left him he tried to start over with me. He's never been there really, and doesn't do much as a Father now because I'm already grown.

      I want to dance with my Mom, but I don't want his feelings to be hurt. (although I don't think he has a right to feelings right now, esp. because I had found out about his wedding through rumors and had to confront him about it. he should be happy I'm even inviting him.) I think before the dance with my Mom is over, I can have him tap in to dance. So that way I can dance with both of them. Also because I want my DF to have the chance to dance with both of his parents too.

      I believe we're going to just share our dance, meaning I'll dance with my Mom (and then Dad) at the same time DF will dance with his Mom (and then Dad) all at the same time to the same song. Then we can have another song to follow for us to switch and dance with our new in laws. What do you ladies think? Too confusing??

      #13 Bavaro-Princess

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        Posted 30 September 2008 - 09:06 AM

        Thank you all so much for all of your advice… I am going to definitely talk to my mom and explain to her how I feel. The problem with me sharing that special dance with my step dad is the following… I am my moms only daughter and when it comes to spoiling me and giving me the world she doesn’t think twice I had a huge sweet 16 and my mom did everything she paid for everything, she’s amazing creating things with her hands and I danced a special song with my step dad and later on I found out that he did not help my mom not one bit… I felt soo bad… for my bridal shower again he didn’t help her not even to go to cosco (wholesale store in NY) and get the drinks…
        My mom is walking me down the aisle by herself because she deserves that recognition and I am going to tell her that… and I also want to do a special dance with her just her and while I dance with her my FI can also dance with his mom – because shes also an amazing woman – I don’t mind sharing my song… and screw traditions… that’s all the dancing im doing… our first dance, and the dedications to mothers dance… what do you guys think?

        #14 Hartyt509

        Hartyt509
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          Posted 30 September 2008 - 02:43 PM

          i think thats perfect - you've done enough in the past with him its your mum's turn x

          #15 BlissfulMsMiranda

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            Posted 01 October 2008 - 09:38 AM

            I think that's a great idea! Your mothers will be absolutely thrilled!!

            #16 courtney

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              Posted 01 October 2008 - 09:53 AM

              I say dance with your mom. I've seen it done several times and it's something that will be so special to both of you. I think that because your step father loves your mom he will be thrilled that you are acknowledging her and the special bond the two of you share.

              #17 Bavaro-Princess

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                Posted 01 October 2008 - 09:56 AM

                Quote:
                Originally Posted by Hartyt509
                i think thats perfect - you've done enough in the past with him its your mum's turn x
                this is exactly what im going to tell her

                #18 KelandJay81

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                  Posted 12 February 2011 - 06:17 PM

                  I am in the same boat - I am having my mom walk me down the aisle as my dad is pretty much non-existent in my life. I don't even think he knows my FIs name. However, I have invited him to the wedding.

                  I wasn't even going to mention it to him but the other day I was told that I should tell him that he isn't walking me down the aisle. I haven't spoken with him in over a year, do I really have to have that conversation? Think it would be horrible if I just sent him an email? Any idea as to how I should word it? I just sort of assumed that he would know he wouldn't be walking me...

                   

                  Any advice?


                  Riu Ocho Rios, Jamaica
                  January 12, 2012

                  51 Booked!!! Wooooo hoooo!
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                  #19 lisa203

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                    Posted 12 February 2011 - 06:35 PM

                    Hey Kelly - it's tough. I was worried about the same thing but since then I've found out that my father isn't even coming so I won't have to have that conversation anymore. My father has a lot of pride and is very much about a show. I'm sure if he was coming he'd assume he'd get the honor. That said, I'd just suggest you do say something sooner than later even if you assume he doesn't plan to. He may feel differently and it would probably be best to get it out there well in advance. I personally wouldn't tell him in an email that's totally up to you. Good luck.



                    #20 KelandJay81

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                      Posted 13 February 2011 - 12:36 PM

                      Thanks Lisa. I have a lot to think about.


                      Riu Ocho Rios, Jamaica
                      January 12, 2012

                      51 Booked!!! Wooooo hoooo!
                      Our Wedding Website





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