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1st Time Parents vs. 2nd Time Parents


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#1 Jessica

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    Posted 16 July 2008 - 12:39 AM

    FIRST TIME PARENTS:

    Wife: Honey, look!!!!!!

    Husband: OH MY GOD!!!!! THERE'S A BLUE LINE!!!!! WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY!!!!!

    Wife: I think I'm gonna cry.....

    Husband: Me too.....


    SECOND TIME PARENTS:


    Wife: Uhhhhhhh.....You might want to take a look at this.....

    Husband: I'm not touching that.....You peed on it.

    Wife: There's a blue line.....

    Husband: Is that the good one?

    Wife: No.

    Husband: I'm gonna go buy another one.

    Wife: Get TWO!!!!


    -----------


    FIRST TIME PARENTS:

    Wife: YOU are going to be the best dad ever....

    Husband: And, YOU are going to be a terrific mom....


    SECOND TIME PARENTS:


    Husband: Well, I guess we're going to have to start investing in more wine, so that you can....uh....relax your nerves, huh?

    Wife: Yeah, and let's try and remember to NOT put the baby in the dryer for a....What was it?....RIDE?


    -----------


    FIRST TIME PARENTS:

    Wife: This is amazing.

    Husband: It's a miracle is what it is. We weren't even trying.


    SECOND TIME PARENTS:

    Husband: You stopped taking your pill, didn't you....That's how THIS happened.

    Wife: Really? Do you think? 'Cuz, I was leaning more toward the "HUNDRED CONDOMS FOR A BUCK" sale, at the Dollar Store, that SOMEONE got so excited about.

    Husband: Hey!!! MOST of them weren't torn.


    ----------


    FIRST TIME PARENTS:

    Husband: You get more beautiful with every passing month.

    Wife: I love going to sleep in your arms.


    SECOND TIME PARENTS:

    Husband: I'm gonna go sleep in the other room.

    Wife: Good idea. You MIGHT actually wake up alive.


    ----------


    FIRST TIME PARENTS:

    Wife: Honey.....Wake up....I think it's time.


    SECOND TIME PARENTS:

    Wife: Get up, Bonehead....I'm not driving myself.


    ----------


    FIRST TIME PARENTS:

    Husband: You're doing great, honey. Just keep pushing.....You're doing terrific.


    SECOND TIME PARENTS:

    Husband: Can we speed this up, at all?

    Wife: GET..........OUT............


    ----------

    FIRST TIME PARENTS:

    Wife: Oh my God!!! He looks just like my father.....

    Husband: He's beautiful!!!


    SECOND TIME PARENTS:

    Wife: God, they ALL look like little old men when their born.

    Husband: It's hard to look at.


    ----------


    FIRST TIME PARENTS:

    Husband: You're gonna be daddy's little quarterback, aren't you?


    SECOND TIME PARENTS:

    Husband: You're gonna mow the lawn on the weekend, so daddy can sleep in, aren't you?


    ----------


    FIRST TIME PARENTS:

    Wife: I'm gonna take you for long walks, all around the neighborhood, so that everyone can see my little man.


    SECOND TIME PARENTS:

    Wife: Crap.....It's gonna be 15 years before I'll be able to sleep past 8am, on a weekend.


    ---------


    FIRST TIME PARENTS:

    Wife: I want to have a hundred more kids with you.

    Husband: And I want to have a thousand more, with you.


    SECOND TIME PARENTS:

    Husband: Uhhhh......This is the last one, right?

    Wife: Oh, you're getting a vasectomy, next week. Or, I swear to GOD, I will cut it off while you sleep.

    #2 starchild

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      Posted 16 July 2008 - 01:45 AM

      LMAO!! That was too funny Jessica!

      #3 1elephant

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        Posted 16 July 2008 - 01:53 AM

        lol sounds like lots of parents i know

        #4 Tara

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          Posted 16 July 2008 - 02:45 AM

          Hahaha! I love it.

          #5 ErinB

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            Posted 16 July 2008 - 08:25 AM

            Too Funny! I'm sending this to all of my friends with kiddos!

            #6 RiuBride2b

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              Posted 16 July 2008 - 10:31 AM

              Definitely a great joke of the day. I'm going to copy and paste it so that I can email it to my co-workers.

              #7 Jessica

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                Posted 16 July 2008 - 11:07 AM

                I pretty much said this after Aiden was born:

                Wife: Oh, you're getting a vasectomy, next week. Or, I swear to GOD, I will cut it off while you sleep.

                #8 LisaG

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                  Posted 16 July 2008 - 11:37 AM

                  OMG - that is greatness!!

                  #9 Betsy

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                    Posted 16 July 2008 - 11:43 AM

                    That was hilarious! Seriously LOL right now! Thanks, I needed that.

                    #10 DreaW

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                      Posted 16 July 2008 - 11:46 AM

                      lolololol, I'm sending this to my BIL lol (they just got pregnant)




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