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didn't think I'd have a FMIL vent


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#1 JennyK

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    Posted 12 June 2008 - 12:50 PM

    I get along really well with my FMIL. She's a sweet lil lady. My FILs live in FL so they're not around much to bother us with anything.

    From the beginning, I had wanted a beach ceremony and we all know that priests don't do beach weddings. Although I love my Catholic religion, church was just not an option and I'm fine with it being an officiant. MY FMIL insists on having a priest. My FI & I joke that if we get the officiant to throw in the word "God" a few times, she'll be happy lol I specifically told her it'd be a minister of some sort..just not a priest. We've been battling this since we got engaged in August! Today I get this IM from my FMIL:

    FMIL (8:57:05 AM): Hi Jen,
    How are you?
    I'm taking care of a priest at this time. I found out that there are some diocese that do allow priests to perform wedding ceremonies on the beach or anywhere else. Some do not. Houston, TX does. But they all require that the couple go to pre-Cana sessions. Mine & Steve's were once a week for awhile. Just talking and a film with other couples to be married. The priest didn't have info on Mexico, but said to check with that diocese.
    ME (8:57:59 AM): will he fly into Cancun?
    ME (8:58:11 AM): do we have to pay for his flight & hotel?
    FMIL (9:11:51 AM): I would think so.
    FMIL (9:12:31 AM): What I was getting at was the diocese for the Cancun area.
    ME (9:17:18 AM): Ive done research on this and priests will not perform any kind of ceremony in mexico outside of the catholic church or chapel..especially no beaches. What if we talk to a priest here, do a church wedding here right before we go to cancun? I'm sure in the winter months they're not as busy.
    FMIL (9:19:09 AM): Whatever you decide, it will be beautiful. That is a great idea.



    She's doing this research that I didn't ask for.. I don't want to pay for anyone to fly down EXCEPT my photog. It's just an added expensive that I don't need when there's plenty of officiants that can do the job!

    Has anyone gotten married through the church BEFORE your DW?

    #2 Nrvsbride

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      Posted 12 June 2008 - 12:53 PM

      Jenny initially I was going to do this. James and I were going to get married at a church in NY and then have a symbolic wedding in Cabo. We did the pre-cana classes which we were able to do in one weekend. It really isn't bad, I actually enjoyed them. I had it set up so we had our church ceremony the weekend before our wedding.

      I think its better to do it this way so that you don't have to fly someone out to Cancun.

      FMIL's can be a little pushy to say the least...

      #3 JennyK

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        Posted 12 June 2008 - 12:55 PM

        Quote:
        Originally Posted by Nrvsbride
        Jenny initially I was going to do this. James and I were going to get married at a church in NY and then have a symbolic wedding in Cabo. We did the pre-cana classes which we were able to do in one weekend. It really isn't bad, I actually enjoyed them. I had it set up so we had our church ceremony the weekend before our wedding.

        I think its better to do it this way so that you don't have to fly someone out to Cancun.

        FMIL's can be a little pushy to say the least...
        Do churches do that.. like small ceremony just to have it recognized? I mean I probably wouldn't have anyone there except our immediate family.

        #4 Martha

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          Posted 12 June 2008 - 01:02 PM

          My best friend got married at a beautiful hotel in Austin then got her marriage blessed in he church later. Will she be okay with this?

          #5 Jessica

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            Posted 12 June 2008 - 01:03 PM

            Are you ok with doing a church wedding before the DW?

            I've been to a REALLY small church ceremony. I think there were only about 8 guests max, so I'm assuming it would be ok.

            I love my MIL too, but like yours once she gets an idea, she can be a bit pushy with it. I think though that if your MIL wants a priest so much, she should at least offer to pay for the costs... LOL, if she's doing her own research I hope one day she doesn't randomly book a priest for you!

            #6 lucy106

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              Posted 12 June 2008 - 01:04 PM

              I know of one girl who did this. Got married in the church her grandparents did about 2 weeks before she left for her DW. It is totally an option. No need to fly anyone down, that seems extreme. Looks like you handled it very well though.

              #7 JennyK

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                Posted 12 June 2008 - 01:04 PM

                Quote:
                Originally Posted by Just Martha
                My best friend got married at a beautiful hotel in Austin then got her marriage blessed in he church later. Will she be okay with this?
                Yea.. as long as it has to do with church she'll be happy. I just don't wanna do the church thing in Cancun since my dream was to do it on the beach

                #8 JennyK

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                  Posted 12 June 2008 - 01:07 PM

                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by JessicaLovesBrian
                  Are you ok with doing a church wedding before the DW?

                  I've been to a REALLY small church ceremony. I think there were only about 8 guests max, so I'm assuming it would be ok.

                  I love my MIL too, but like yours once she gets an idea, she can be a bit pushy with it. I think though that if your MIL wants a priest so much, she should at least offer to pay for the costs... LOL, if she's doing her own research I hope one day she doesn't randomly book a priest for you!
                  thats what I'm scared of.. and of course FI tells me to handle her! lol She offered to pay for his services but I don't want (i know it sounds selfish) whatever money she's going to contribute to the wedding going to travel expenses of a priest.

                  #9 Martha

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                    Posted 12 June 2008 - 01:08 PM

                    You can get it blessed at your church after you get married!

                    #10 Maura

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                    Posted 12 June 2008 - 01:09 PM

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by JennyK
                    Do churches do that.. like small ceremony just to have it recognized? I mean I probably wouldn't have anyone there except our immediate family.
                    jenny, yes, they absolutely do that. you DO have to still go thru pre-cana. i recommend contacting your local parish and get it over with as soon as you can. its not worth it to fly someone down to cancun, and a catholic priest WILL NOT do a ceremony on the beach. sometimes a catholic deacon will (just FYI). if you do the little mass at home first, that can also be your legal marriage here in the US and then your DW can just be symbolic, which im guessing will probably save you a bunch of money to not have to do the legal shiz down in MX. you'll get your marriage certificate a lot sooner too and no translations needed for insurance purposes and whatnot. i'm well-versed in what you can & can't do as a catholic since we're dealing with it on two ends from the US catholic church & the mexican catholic church rules too. PM me if you have questions anytime!




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