Long MOH vent
Posted 12 May 2008 - 05:57 PM
When my FI and I announced that we were going to have a destination wedding she was a little upset. We gave are bridal party the option to opt out, because ....... we get, not everyone has the $. But she said that she would go.
Then.... she dropped off the face of the planet and stopped returning my calls. She went through a hard time, her dog got super sick and her loser boyfreind lost his job and money was tight. She finally called me back after like 3.5 weeks of not returning my call. And she said that she didnt think that she could make it. I was a little upset and said I wish you hadnt avoided me and just told and we would work it out. Then I said it really important to me that your there and I will figure out a way. I talked to my dad and he said he would pay for her whole trip!! She said she couldnt take that and she would call me back. So a week later she called left me a voice mail and said she had the money and booked her trip.
We talked again about a week ago and I was talking about brides maids dresses, and she said "oh... I thought since you were doing a destination wedding we wouldnt have to do that" And I was like well..... If you would answer your damn phone we wouldnt have this problem.
So now she angry about "whatever", she keeps saying that nothing is wrong. and now is not interested in talking about the wedding, or helping out, or talking about dresses etc...... Im SUPER bummed about this. I want to call her and tell her to forget about and not come if this is how it is going to be.
I need some advise.
Sorry for the long vent, I'm just not sure what to do.
Posted 12 May 2008 - 06:23 PM
My MOH lives 10 hours away so I know that communicating over the phone is not the easiest. Her and I agreed early on that I would be picking the color of the bridesmaid dresses, and as long as she respected that, I would have no problem with whatever she wore. She also has great taste.
Perhaps you could agree to the same type of arrangement.
Or perhaps, if money is really tight, you could buy her the dress as a gift.
I would offer some sort of compromise, just so that you have a stress free wedding and keep your friendship in tact.
Hope this helps!
Made it legal : June 30, 2009
Posted 12 May 2008 - 06:31 PM
Posted 13 May 2008 - 06:54 AM
And most of all, don't let her ruin your day!
Made it legal : June 30, 2009
Posted 13 May 2008 - 07:33 AM
So, don't get mad. The reality is that right now, for you, the single most important thing on the face of the planet is the wedding. But that doesn't mean anyone else sees it that way.
So, take the higher road. Stop and tell her that you love her, that you get that chaos is abundant and invite her out for a non-wedding, non-reality day. Have brunch, people watch, laugh at what the 14-year olds are wearing. She probably needs someone in her life to just support her right now. The same way you want her to support you.
And she'll get it. And she'll come around and you can pick out dresses and have a wonderful time and be back to the way things were.
Good luck. Keep us posted.
Happily married since 2008
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