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I love my hubby, but..........


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#11 dragonfly

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    Posted 27 March 2008 - 01:31 PM

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by TammyB
    Thanks kelly.. That is one of my problems, that I put other people before myself. Cain is the exact same way, maybe that is why I get stressed over things, because I'm taking on more then I should. But it's a fine line for me to learn, like being supportive without just giving in. I mean I can stand my ground on stupid things but stuff that I know is important to Cain, I tend to just let him do what makes him happy, and in turn I end up really stressed. (IE prime example, saying it was ok for two of his cousins and his mother to move in with us)
    Yeah I kind of already knew that about you, just from getting to know you on here. It is great that you want to make your husband happy, but try and remember that he wouldn't want that at the expence of your happiness. I think you should change your mentality about putting you second and the person you love first and look at this from a different perspective. I think you should tell yourself that you are not being selfish and it is not you, your putting first, but you are putting first the hope and happiness that the baby you and cain are desperately trying to conceive will bring. Tell yourself this is not about you, but about a bigger, grander plan and just maybe this will help you find your voice in regards to the things that have added stress in your life. Tammy, I know Cain wants you to be happy, not stressed, so tell him how your feeling.

    #12 Nrvsbride

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      Posted 27 March 2008 - 01:44 PM

      I really don't have any good advice, but I understand your concerns and I think Kelly put it perfectly...you should discuss them with Cain. He wants to make you happy and I'm sure your well being is what is most important to him.

      #13 TammyB

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        Posted 27 March 2008 - 01:45 PM

        Yeah your totally right Kelly. I do "eventually" tell Cain how I'm feeling, but usually it's too late. Like I already commit to something and then regret it later, then I pretty much have to deal with it at that point because it's too late to turn back.

        The problem, though is this. Say we agree to take in an aggressive dog, but then I realize it's way too much for me to handle. Well at that point it's already too late because every foster home is bursting at the seems with foster dogs and their are only like 2 or 3 people in the group that know how to handle that type of dog. SO it's not like we can turn our back at that point. I want to help, and with Bennie, he seriously got so much better after he was neutered and with some little training but those first couple of weeks I was so stressed. Who's to say the next dog won't be the same, better or worse?

        #14 dragonfly

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          Posted 27 March 2008 - 02:02 PM

          Quote:
          Originally Posted by TammyB
          Yeah your totally right Kelly. I do "eventually" tell Cain how I'm feeling, but usually it's too late. Like I already commit to something and then regret it later, then I pretty much have to deal with it at that point because it's too late to turn back.

          The problem, though is this. Say we agree to take in an aggressive dog, but then I realize it's way too much for me to handle. Well at that point it's already too late because every foster home is bursting at the seems with foster dogs and their are only like 2 or 3 people in the group that know how to handle that type of dog. SO it's not like we can turn our back at that point. I want to help, and with Bennie, he seriously got so much better after he was neutered and with some little training but those first couple of weeks I was so stressed. Who's to say the next dog won't be the same, better or worse?
          Just say NO!!!:) I think today this is where you find your voice, then rest and see how you feel when the next dog comes up. If the time is right for you to take on a new dog at that time then do it. From what your saying the time is off for you right now, I really think Cain will understand. Tammy give yourself a break, you are amazing and you just need to put your focus elsewhere right now and that is really, really, really, okay! Your big heart is making the decision of what is right for you hard to see, this time around talk to Cain before it is to late Tammy:)

          #15 TammyB

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            Posted 01 April 2008 - 08:48 AM

            So I wanted to give you guys an update on this.

            DH went for a homevisit last night for a couple that had an aggressive dog that bite their 2 year old in the face. They want to surrender the dog to our rescue group and told him over email that the dog was 15 months old. As it turns out the husband doesn't like dogs and the mother babies him too much. Well as it turns out this dog wasn't 15 months old he was 15 "weeks" old, he's a freakin puppy that is acting like a normal puppy that hasn't been given any sort of boundries. So we plan on fostering this pup and will be picking him up on Saturday. I'm guessing he won't be with us long, as puppies usually get adopted pretty quickly, however we will probably have him for at least a month so that we can teach him not to bite/nip. But I'm actually looking forward to having a puppy in the house again, and I can't wait to see how our foster girl is with him.

            #16 Christine

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            Posted 01 April 2008 - 08:57 AM

            what is wrong with people, why would you get a dog if you don't like dogs and if you aren't prepared to teach a puppy right from wrong-seriously!
            Christine + Will (married 7/20/07) + Ainsleigh (born 6/25/08) + Nolan (born 11/9/10) + Delaney (born 12/31/13) = One Very Happy Family!

            #17 Natalie Z

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              Posted 01 April 2008 - 11:00 AM

              That is good news tammy that you get to have a puppy for a little! I also don't understand why people get new dogs and have kids at the same time and just think that the dog is going to train itself. People are dumb!! Tammy you have to share some pics when you get him.

              #18 LCBride2007

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                Posted 01 April 2008 - 11:08 AM

                first of all, what idiots get a dog and then give up that fast. or even get a dog when one member of the family doesn't like them. nut cases.

                anyway, sounds like this puppy will be going to a better home for him.

                #19 TammyB

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                  Posted 01 April 2008 - 11:18 AM

                  Yeah apperently they have a 2yr old child and a newborn and I guess they thought getting a puppy at the same time was a good idea and more importantly something they could actually handle. From what Cain told me, they are a very nice couple but they are just way over their head. Puppies are alot of work, add to the mix a two children under 2yrs old.. I guess I would be stressed too. Plus since the father isn't a dog lover and his child was bitten and got 2 stitches in the face from the puppy, I guess I you could see it coming. On the flip side, parents need to teach their children how to act around a puppy, I mean she put her head in the dogs crate and the puppy wanted to play the only way he knows how. Go figure.

                  #20 Hartyt509

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                    Posted 01 April 2008 - 01:52 PM

                    You realise you won't want to give him back lol i wouldn't i'm terrible lol




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