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Name change?

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#1 becks



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    Posted 14 January 2008 - 07:26 PM

    Need a bit of advice... FI and I are planning on getting married at city hall here in NYC before heading to our DW (for a number of reasons that aren't relevant here).

    I was just doing a bit of homework on getting that done, and one of the things that struck me as odd is the surname change. I always thought that what I'd like to do is just stick FI's surname at the end of my existing name. No hyphen, no half-his-half-mine. Just "Rebecca Smith Brown" (no, those aren't are our real last names).

    But NYC says that if I don't want to give up my maiden name, my only options are hyphenating or combining. So "Smith-Brown" or "Smown" (hee... "Broth"). Now I'm re-thinking things.

    I've got an established career, and I'm not really ready to make a wholesale name change (plus the fact that I like my last name and have had it for over 35 years). FI says he doesn't really care, but I think he really wants me to take his name, at least in addition to my maiden name.

    What do you guys think? Hyphenate and suck it up? Ditch my maiden name? Keep my maiden name?

    Stupid antiquated rules...

    Happily married since 2008

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    #2 MelissaH

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      Posted 14 January 2008 - 07:31 PM

      I had kind of the same problem and ended up just ditching my maiden name altogether. Hyphenating my name sounded stupid, and I didn't want to step on any toes by keeping my maiden name and not taking his name at all.

      If I wanted to change my name to Melissa R H, I'd have to be issued a brand new birth certificate and everything saying that's how I was born, and it's not, and I had an issue with that. I'd also have to pay some pretty good money to have my name changed.

      It's garbage, isn't it?

      #3 Jessalyn

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        Posted 14 January 2008 - 08:23 PM

        I struggled with this too...I'm also established in my career with my name and have an attachment to it. I ended up hyphenating...I changed my name legally, but still just use my maiden name in business. It's too much of a pain to re-establish and explain in business..BTW, my hypenated name is ridiculous with my long first name, but I couldn't give up "my" last name. Good luck with your decision.
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        #4 Yari

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          Posted 14 January 2008 - 08:31 PM

          I am going to ditch my maiden name.

          Do what you feel is right...but it is a pain in the arse to do the whole change thing. Ugh!

          #5 *JillD*

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            Posted 14 January 2008 - 09:11 PM

            I got rid of my middle name and kept my last name as my middle name. This way I can use it when I need it, (because of my job)

            I wonder why you can't do that in NY?

            #6 MelissaH

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              Posted 14 January 2008 - 09:58 PM

              That's what I wanted to do too, Jill - sucks it didn't work out that way

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