F-MIL part two

[TammyB]

Quote:

Originally Posted by destinationbride07 I say have your xmas! If she wants to act out like a kid let her. This is your home and this is what happens in your home: happiness!

Hmm maybe I'll just tell her if she can't be nice then she can stay up in her room.. :-) Ok so I wouldn't do that, but Ohhhh how I would love too..

[LCBride2007]

Seriously - she wants to act like a 5-year old, treat her like one!

[TammyB]

Ann it's so hard right now for me not to treat her like she's acting and treating me. I'm trying SOOO hard to not stoop to her level. Right now I don't want to deal with her, shoot she was suppose to present us with our rings at our wedding and now I don't want her to do that, I would rather have Cain give me my ring. She doesn't deserve to be apart of it, she only earns the right to watch the wedding. I know this sounds harsh, but the way she is acting and treating me is totally uncalled for...

[LCBride2007]

I can only imagine. I was just thinking the same thing - how easy it would be to start screaming at her, or just ignoring her, etc. But the "right" thing to do is NOT to stoop to her level - that will just make things worse. Eventually, when this all blows over and you all get along again, at least you won't have said anything you regret. You won't have to be embarassed by how you acted.

 

As for having her in your wedding - hopefully this all does blow over and you can have a healthy relationship with her. I know it seems awful now, but maybe this is just a rough time for everyone, and this is how it's coming out. I don't want to make excuses for her, but I always hope for the best in people! Sometimes they surprise you - in good ways!

 

In the meantime, just keep your head high, and hopefully Cain can talk to her soon.

[TammyB]

Yeah maybe your right. I guess the way she is acting right now makes me think that she should be Germen and not Mexican because she is so stubborn and holds a grudge and will never come around.. (no insult intended to the Germens, I'm part Germen :-)

[Jackie]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TAMMYM Ann it's so hard right now for me not to treat her like she's acting and treating me. I'm trying SOOO hard to not stoop to her level. Right now I don't want to deal with her, shoot she was suppose to present us with our rings at our wedding and now I don't want her to do that, I would rather have Cain give me my ring. She doesn't deserve to be apart of it, she only earns the right to watch the wedding. I know this sounds harsh, but the way she is acting and treating me is totally uncalled for...

Hey Tammy, I know Ive been saying this all along but I thought I should put my two cents in one more time. I know its hard to not go off on her and you are doing a very good job of it so far. BUT, make sure you dont blow up on her. The minute you stoop to her level is the minute you lose all credibility as the "mature adult" in the situation even if you have been up until that point. Keep holding your ground and keep being the bigger person. Your doing a great job so far. I know you can do it!!!!

[A10CalGal]

Ok, holy crap Tammy! I somehow missed this saga yesterday & just got done reading thru the developments. I think the girls have given you some excellent advice. I definitely think you should maintain your outward appearance as the bigger, more mature person. I am happy to hear Cain can see thru all of this b.s. That is a big plus.

 

I do want to offer one thought that I haven't seen anyone bring up yet: this situation presents the perfect opportunity for Cain to let his mother know that you are now #1 in his life. She has been #1 up until now, so she's acting childish in the face of losing that position - trying to get attention from her son. Worse even, she's doing so in YOUR HOME!!

 

I have watched (or read) as this situation has unfolded over the last several months & have wondered how long it would take for it to explode. She seriously needs to act like an adult, get out of your house & take care of her own damn self. It's a good thing that Cain has his eyes open to what is going on, because otherwise she could very well tear your relationship apart.

[TammyB]

Thanks Christa and jackie, I told Cain today at lunch (my only time to see him face to face on the weekdays) that I can honestly look back and say I don't regret anything I have said to her, that everything was honest and wasn't said to be hurtful and it was to clear the air. I think told him that his mother on the other hand is saying things that are down right mean and as if she is trying to get under my skin on purpose. He said that is the way most of his family is, they say things out of anger that are hurtful because they that's the only way the know. I told him it's very wrong and one day I hope Marty looks back and realizes she stepped W-A-Y over the line. He agrees that I should just let her be right now because she'll only make it worse.

[JENESIS]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TAMMYM Hmm maybe I'll just tell her if she can't be nice then she can stay up in her room.. :-) Ok so I wouldn't do that, but Ohhhh how I would love too..

I just read all of this, and I just can't imagine the amount of time I would spend in bars if I had to go home to that..
If you really would enjoy having Christmas at your house, don't let her take it away from you.
Can't she go by her sister or something that day? I'm assuming your mother doesn't want to talk to her.

[TammyB]

If I have Christmas at my house then I would invite everyone, both my family and Cain's. So I'm sure she would be on her best behavior.