that FI of mine...

[Martha]

Okay Gina called me earlier! The blessing of their marriage was private with just their parents and a few friends that happened to be in town (it was Easter weekend) and it was on a Sunday after Mass.

 

I hope that answers your question? Let me know if ya want me to ask her something else!

[Yari]

Caught this post a little late..

 

I am so sad and angry about this. I am Catholic and so is my FI, since he was married in the church for his first marriage we can not have a "valid" marriage. Ugh!

 

I am being punish for his mistake, but according to that guy it is I who decided to enter in this type of relationship. I mean seriously are we in the stone ages.

 

I am a good person, love God and been part of the Catholic community all of my life. Yes, I don't practice everything 100%, but I still believe. I wish they would change their old ways.

 

Sorry for rambling, guess I just needed to vent.

[boscobel]

Jac -so funny, I bet peeps can totally tell we are friends. I been using the schm- in front of words this week. It made ma laugh out loud!

Quote:

Originally Posted by QuelMoffett church smurch

It IS so wierd how so many of us are in the same boat! I guess that happens alot when you have a DW since the church doesn't recognize a marriage unless it happens in their "house". The price we pay for a beach wedding!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jentwo Funny how so many of us are in the same boat! I too was just told by my fiance that it is important for my fiance to get married in the church. I'm not Catholic but he is...it's not definite but I think we will continue with planning our legal DW in Playa Del Carmen and then plan a separate ceremony in the church he grew up in when we get back (we're not having an AHR). I'm not sure how it works to have a legal wedding first out of the country and then to try and have one in the states. He's agreed to do the homework and talk with his chuch about next steps. I'm pretty sure we'll have to do some kind of pre-cana (perhaps in Chicago where we live!).

Lizz - I will def let you know. The pre-cana peeps I called never called me back yet, but I am going to find out the deal and sign up, so that perhaps we can have our marriage blessed before out AHR.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lizz When you find out more, let us know. I'm definitely going to have to get our marriage blessed when we get back from Jamaica. Both of our moms really want us to; and I guess I need to now if I want to be a godmother in the future!

Thank you so much, Martha! I am still confused on what exactly happens, but you don't need to bother your friend with my questions since I should be hearing back from the pre-cana people shortly and I have lots of questions for them! I will post all when I find out...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Just Martha Okay Gina called me earlier! The blessing of their marriage was private with just their parents and a few friends that happened to be in town (it was Easter weekend) and it was on a Sunday after Mass.   I hope that answers your question? Let me know if ya want me to ask her something else!

Mo, honestly, Matt does just about whatever I want, when I want, so I try to make things that are important to him, important to me also. I don't know if things like this vary by church, but I'll check back in when I know more.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MoWife Carly, i'm glad you got everything worked out. it is so nice that you were willing to look into making this so special.   I also would like to one day be a godparent and I am raising my daughter Catholic and she goes to catholic school so I think i should set a good example and get our marriage blessed.

Yari - that really stinks! Feel free to vent away! There are lots of rules I thnk the church needs to update and this is one of them! As long as you begin a marriage with full intentions of 100% commitment, how can they hold it against people that it didn't work out? Sometimes people love each other and cna't be together, people change, people meet other people. There are millions of reasons why a marriage might not work and each one has NOTHING to do with whatever relationship that person enters into later. I am sorry that your are in this particular situation, cuz it really does stink.

Quote:

Originally Posted by yari2566 Caught this post a little late..   I am so sad and angry about this. I am Catholic and so is my FI, since he was married in the church for his first marriage we can not have a "valid" marriage. Ugh!   I am being punish for his mistake, but according to that guy it is I who decided to enter in this type of relationship. I mean seriously are we in the stone ages.   I am a good person, love God and been part of the Catholic community all of my life. Yes, I don't practice everything 100%, but I still believe. I wish they would change their old ways.   Sorry for rambling, guess I just needed to vent.

[Martha]

Quote:

Originally Posted by yari2566 Caught this post a little late.. I am so sad and angry about this. I am Catholic and so is my FI, since he was married in the church for his first marriage we can not have a "valid" marriage. Ugh! I am being punish for his mistake, but according to that guy it is I who decided to enter in this type of relationship. I mean seriously are we in the stone ages. I am a good person, love God and been part of the Catholic community all of my life. Yes, I don't practice everything 100%, but I still believe. I wish they would change their old ways. Sorry for rambling, guess I just needed to vent.

You FI needs to get his divorce anulled through the church before your can be "validated." It is a long process though anywhere from 3 months to 3 years!

[Yari]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Just Martha You FI needs to get his divorce anulled through the church before your can be "validated." It is a long process though anywhere from 3 months to 3 years!

He has a daughter, so that makes it a little more complicated. According to the rules her baptism would also become void. So sad.

What I really need to do is talk to a priest and get some answers.

[becks]

Sorry for jumping in a little late. This is all very tension-inducing for me. My FI is catholic, previously married, legally divorced, etc. No kids, so that's not an issue, but this whole notion of "invalid" "unrecognized" etc. is so odd.

 

FI doesn't speak to his ex at all (very contentious divorce), and while we've contemplated an annulment, it turns out that in order to get it thru, its (a) pricey - the church wants a significant donation to do it and ( once the application is entered, his ex has to fill out an enormous questionairre (20 pages or something), and I seriously doubt she'd do it - she's not catholic, so no benefit to her.

 

And the guy who wrote that nonsense about "invalid" and "your fault" should go crawl back under the rock he oozed out from under. What an a**. Carly, and others, go talk with a priest. They'll give you good, reliable information - or better yet, have your FI do so!

[meandpaul]

Quote:

Originally Posted by carlymcmullen He decides YESTERDAY that he wants our marriage blessed by the church. This all came about cuz we are about to become god-parents to his niece Mia in February and the church told them it is a good thing we are going it BEFORE we get married, otherwise we wouldn't be allowed. They wouldn't recognize us since we weren't married in a church. ...

I just got to this post, but have a question. They would't recognize us...I am assuming 'us' is the church? If so, and the purpose of god parents is to have someone step in if something happened to you - why does the church have to recognize it? I know religion is a powerful force in a lot of households and I dont judge that, but what if you and your FI were not catholic or chose not to have the church wedding? How would that affect the situation?