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Acw271011 So This Is Not A Planning Thread.... But

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I think that's where our issues came from -- we went to a joint account and both cheques went into it. There was no 50/50 bills and what was left over we could use as we pleased. So he felt stress to spend any money blah blah. Just had to talk I thru. We now just run larger purchases past eachother first. Like 'hey I really want those new sandals is that ok this month?' Not like we'd say no but more out of respect. Shawn just leaves it to me and after I pay all the bills, do savings and have budgeted I tell him what's left lol

 

@@TinkerSofi I appreciate your concern/thoughts about the 50/50 and what's left for each of you is what you get even though Juan makes more. My friend is married and does this. She has NOtHING left over each month and her spouse has tonnes. Causes a lot of issues amongst them and she is trying to come up with something better but he isn't as easy going and level headed as we are. I feel for her. Seems so unfair.

 

 

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That's a very good insight and I always appreciate finding out how people go about this because we honestly have no clue and are going by trial and error here, what we think might work could be totally wrong once we get into the swing of things haha.

 

That's too bad about your friend and the fact that her husband can't see that. I mean, if I was making more than Juan, there's no way I'd let him scrape by with barely anything while I go and spend all this extra money. I would feel really bad. 

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My FI and I don't have a joint account, but we divide all the household bills and pay a percentage based on relative incomes. So over time we've had 100/0, 65/35, and now it's 50/50. It never felt right making the person with less income pay just as much as the other when they couldn't do anything fun all month then.

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@@TinkerSofi Right now my FI doesn't make too much more than I do, so we split the bills generally evenly. Although we've lived together for 8 years now, we don't have a joint account (though maybe we should look into that). We each pay off our own credit card every month, I pay utilities, he pays for internet/cable and we take turns paying the rent every other month.

 

The advice that I have heard re: splitting bills when one person makes more than the other is to split based on proportionate income. So if your total family income is made up of 65% Juan's money + 45% your money, then you would contribute to 45% of the bills and he would contribute to 65% so that your leftover money is split more fairly.

 

Edit - clearly I took too long writing this post at work and @@TNT2015 beat me to the punch, lol

Edited by krystalball
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I agree, this is certainly a sensitive subject and there are different methods that work for different people. I agree with everyone suggesting the amount you pay for bills should directly reflect the amount of income coming in. 

 

Some friends of mine used a specific formula to budget which included paying the bills of course, putting a certain percentage away for savings and a certain percentage for "fun" money…kind of like an allowance. It seemed to work for them and helped the save a lot. 

 

Sean and I have been living together for 3 years and have been splitting the various categories similar to @@krystalball. We've never had one person consistently make more than the other - it has gone back and forth over the years with various job shifts so this has worked out the best for us. Since we've been engaged, Sean's been paying the rent and I've been putting money away for the wedding every month and that has worked out really well. 

 

I've also noticed that for a lot of my friends it has helped to have a joint account as well as individual accounts. This may seem trivial but a friend who only has a joint account with her husband and join credit cards with him can never surprise him with anything because he has access to all the transactions - haha! Not that you want to keep anything from your spouse but sometimes you want to surprise them with a gift for their birthday or anniversary etc. :)

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@@snswedding2016

 

You make a valid point!   We wanted to get a joint card because we wanted to get travel points for trips!  Shawn uses his card a lot for work expenses, so we figured why not cash in on that.  When we went into the bank to get it I didn't realize at the time they would be swapping my credit card over to the Avion and Shawn would just be an authorized user.  WHAT?? That said I guess it is technically my card, but he can see the transactions thru his online banking.  So I couldn't really surprise him using that card -- I do have a line of credit that is only mine so if push came to shove I could use that.

 

Never event thought of that until you mentioned it.  


@@acw271011 I apologize your thread was hijacked

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@@acw271011 yes so sorry!!! We totally hijacked it with money talk!


@@calgarybride2015 yea I've been the help line for my friend to put stuff on my card when she wants to get something for her husband. I don't mind at all but I know she always feels awkward to ask.

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@@acw271011 I loved reading your story.  I knew that you and Doug had some health issues, but I didn't know the full extent of it.  I cried at multiple points while reading your story.  You guys have been through so much.  You truly are a strong woman, it's evident through you perseverance and determination. Also, all of your challenges have only helped to strengthen your relationship.  I'm happy to hear you're both doing well.  I think it's awesome that you guys are having a vow renewal you definitely deserve it!  I think of vow renewals as being the same as a wedding.  I've missed so much on your thread I definitely have some catching up to do!  Love everything I see so far. 

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You ladies have hooked me onto Etsy and there are so many things that I never knew were there!! lol So I've been all over the site looking at earrings, and necklaces and stuff. So many pretty things!

 

Favours

 

The one thing I do want to do for the friends that are supposed to be going with us is a bag. Thankfully it will keep costs down because it will only be a couple but I've investigated some of the ideas here. Fans are out because there aren't enough people. The sunglasses I really like. With a small group we could have a cool shot of everyone in sunglasses. And the room key holders. That is something that even Doug and I would use. And of course the tumblers! Doug and I already use them and have done for several years, going back to when we went to Cuba in 2006.

 

So..... today I bought my first thing!!!!! lol I found little zippered pouches that will be great for the room key and money. I saw them on here last year I don't even remember who from and they were perfect. I have the wrist coils already from a past bride that was selling her extras so now we actually have "an item"!! woohoo!!  I like the maracas idea too. That's a very easy souvenir for someone to bring home with them so that will be a "yes". Here is the pouch but I can't seem to find the clear one that I ordered. At least I hope I did. So it will work great with the wrist coil.

 

http://www.4imprint.com/search/key%20ring%20zippered%20pouch/product/102936/Key-Ring-Zippered-Pouch

 

attachicon.gifzipper pouch.jpg

 

As it stands we were supposed to be 10. That's now down to 8 so easy peasy to put a couple of little things together. We're likely too old for beach balls lol so i doubt that will get onto the list.

 

Colours

 

I initially wanted turquoise and a coral/salmon colour. My son's girlfriend asked for pink instead so I said ok. My son was going to walk me to wherever we were walking to. As of 3 days ago they've backed out. Again. lol Kids....  Well he isn't really a kid anymore but you ladies will find out that they are your kids forever! Anyway, so now I think I'll just stick with pink. I kind of like it with the turquoise. I want Doug in a turquoise vest and tie with tan. He goes so brown in the summer and tans so well that the turquoise will be great on him. It's also the colour he picked for his tux for our AHR and wow. He looked so sexy..... lol So there was no question about the turquoise!  I want to incorporate both colours into flowers so that they're vibrant and scream colour! lol 

 

I'm a total sucker for roses and callas so that's where I'm thinking right now.

 

attachicon.gifAqua and pink flowers.jpgattachicon.gifpink bouquet-2.jpgattachicon.gifpink-fuchsia-aqua-wedding-bouquet.jpgattachicon.gifturquoise bouquet I want.jpg

 

 

I also want to do the turquoise in a small cake. I have a rough idea what I'm thinking about and Joyce has given me the pricing so it's just a question of figuring out what we need. But something like this except in a nice bright turquoise:

 

attachicon.gifpink square cake with flowers.jpg

 

The one thing I'm torn about is a topper. There is part of me that would love to use our original topper. There is another part of me that says this is a special celebration so do something different. I don't have a decision yet.

 

 

 

DIY

 

All of you ladies are incredible with your DIY. I'm all thumbs. Seriously. But I decided to tackle it and try and have some fun. This is what I came up with. I know I have to say thank you and give credit but I'm a horrible person and don't remember who to!!! Knowing what I do about Mexico I'm thinking a little survival kit with tums and immodium, tylenol, etc. Just the simple basics.

 

attachicon.gifSurvivalKit Topper-2.ppt

 

attachicon.gifmy keycard holder final.ppt

Sorry to hear about your son.  Your favours look awesome!  I think your colours are so pretty.  I love roses and callas too, I'm hoping that they are in stock in Cuba when I'm there for my wedding.  Good luck with the DIY, i'm sure it will be amazing.  I've seen some brides do some incredible things.  I wish I could have done a lot of DIY, but I'm no good at that stuff.

I did it! Here it is! This is what I'm going to wear in October. Over what I wanted to spend, but I'm still alive and I intend to make this vow renewal something special.

 

So this is it!

attachicon.gif1413.jpg

 

 

Oh wow!  Your dress looks stunning!  I love the look of a keyhole back!  I also really love the ruffles.  I can't wait to see a picture of you in the dress.

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After 110 hours in two weeks, I finally have the chance to stop in here and see what you ladies are up to.

 

We had some news yesterday that is a bit concerning but hoping it works itself out. I was back in the ER a few weeks back. Panic mode thinking it was another blood clot in my lungs. Thankfully it wasn't but it prompted some other tests in two ways. It turns out I have something up with the tendons in my shoulder - calcified something or other so now we're off to see an orthopedic specialist. Family doc says surgery is usually a last resort.... yeah from your lips to God's ears! So we're waiting on that. But the other thing is now an investigation has started for my breathing, which still hasn't gotten much better from last fall. The thinking is that there may be some residual damage to my lungs from what was a second pulmonary embolism so they're looking into pulmonary hypertension. I've been trying to read what it is and my brain is just mush from all of the overtime I've had over the last couple of weeks. The hospital yesterday has moved really fast (surprising) and the first tests are Thursday, the second next Wednesday then the results on the 21st. At this point I'm not even allowing myself to think past the 21st. We'll deal with whatever we have to then.

 

So on that note, I actually got our key card holders started on the weekend. The suggestion from @@Meandhim to put a card on the outside I think worked out pretty well and I tied it on with our colours of ribbon. I know the card will just get tossed so I didn't want to be too fussy about it, but the idea from @@TinkerSofi for photo paper also did the trick. So here they are - a blank and the finished ones. Sorry for the lousy pictures. It's not something I do well! lol

attachicon.gifIMG_2687.JPG

attachicon.gifIMG_2693.JPG

attachicon.gifIMG_2694.JPG

 

 I also got the lanterns for the table at the restaurant from IKEA and I got "ocean" scented blue tealights to go inside. Not a big deal but it's sort of fun to pick up little things even though we still have a long way to go yet.

 

Resort Update:

 

So I found a resort that I'm waiting for a reply from our TA about - Platinum Yucatan Princess All Suites Resort. It's a stay at one and play at 3 part of Grand Sunset and Grand Riviera. The reviews are really good and so are the food reviews plus it's adults only. A big plus for us. But most importantly it solves our bed issue and we can all get king sized beds! The price point is better than Azul Fives too. So we'll see what the TA says. I left a message today and hopefully will hear back tomorrow. Right now it's probably a good idea to wait until after the 21st before we book anything but...... see what happens.

 

Wow that's a crazy amount of over time!  I used to do that when I worked in Personal Injury.  I'm sorry to hear about your health issues, I hope you don't need to have surgery.  I really love the idea of the key card holders and the card on the outside looks amazing!  

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@@calgarybride2015 and @snswedding2016  You didn't hijack the thread at all! lol I think it's great that this kind of topic gets put out there and everyone gives input. It's an important topic for "to be" couples! With Doug and I both coming from lousy marriages we were very closed with finances when we first started to live together and in some ways we still are. He make almost double what I do but we still split 50/50, or pretty close to that. We split house payment, he pays cable/internet and I pay hydro, gas, water which balances out. We each pay our own car insurance and credit cards and we don't have a joint account. I doubt we ever will. But since he makes so much more money than I do, any "entertainment" he pays for. I pay the odd thing if I get really adamant about it only because it makes me feel so guilty but he's old school in that he still feels it's the man's job to take care of his family. It's how he was brought up and at his age, that isn't going to change.

 

I will say this - I'm so proud of all of you ladies and how you're handling finances with your soon to be spouses. Years ago things were very different, and that's the generation I come from. You all seem to really have "heads screwed on" the right way about money and that's a very good thing!!

 

@diadiamond  Thank you!! You're so sweet!! I love my dress and I'm looking forward to impressing my hubby! lol The keyhole back is a major feature for me since I wanted my shoulders covered.

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