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Complete Meltdown - Possible Wedding Cancellation!


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#1 KAT2015

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Posted 02 September 2014 - 06:36 PM

So I just need to get this out - my FI is flying home from the States and isn't here to talk about all this.  I'm literally losing my mind.

 

When I started arrangements for my wedding, I had my TA (a friend) block off 15 rooms for guests.  I had 15 rooms invited for sure. Of those 15, I was sure I had a guaranteed 10 rooms - the minimum for our group discount.

 

Also, of those 15 were my aunt, my FIs aunt and uncle - both of whom we were not sure could come. 1 room was set aside for my cousin, as we were going to pay for him to come and do our photos. I left a buffer of one person in case of an unexpected decline.

 

My cousin's gf is going to have a baby (his) by our wedding date so he is out.

 

Now, I have had that decline (a friend of mind who didnt work for a year and is only doing a one year contract now - watching finances).  I have had another set of friends (the TAs) tell me they can't book because they are trying to have a baby.  My brother is pissed at me and won't book before the deadline.  I have a least one other friend that is a question mark.

 

For everyone counting - I only have 7 out of 10 rooms booked and we are only 7 days from deadline (and 3 from when I told people it was).  Meaning no group discount.

 

Even worse - I have run some searches online and can't seem to find any trips for our week to that resort - looks booked up.  We already have people booked coming from England (booking on their own).

 

So now - we have a block of 15 rooms. I am either forcing my guests to pay more (which may or may not be possible) without the group discount or book on their own.  But judging from the info online, booking on their own will be difficult and we may wind up with some people not being able to get rooms.  

 

If my guests can't get rooms - we'll have to cancel the wedding as a lot of these people are important to me and I wouldn't get married without them.  

 

I'm extremely upset.  My friend who is trying for a baby said that she and her husband knew for awhile they would start trying in September. I got engaged at the end of July and set our date the first week of August and she didn't bother to tell me then so I could plan!  The people I depended on to be there and who were all gung ho about this wedding are now backing out and completely screwing me.

 

I have zero idea of what to do right now.  At best, my TA friend is going to ask his friends if any of them want in on a group deal vacation for next year to save my ass.  If that doesn't work, I'm lost.

 

All I've ever wanted was to have a small destination wedding with the people who are closest to me - relaxing, fun and memorable - and now its starting to look like that won't happen.  I've been crying for the last half hour and still don't know what to do.

 

 



#2 kmk2016

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Posted 02 September 2014 - 06:44 PM

Ok breathe.... It will be ok.

So is the problem that there are still some that are committed to coming but don't want to commit before your deadline in "3" days? If so, let them know ASAP that the hotel appears to be sold out and that if they truly want to be there for you and FI, they really need to booking using your TA ASAP.

If you truly think that you will not hit your room commitment how much will the penalty be?

Who left are your "absolute must be there" people... I would seriously write them a heartfelt email or call them simply reiterate your thoughts- that without them there you don't know if you can go through with the wedding and you hope they can book before your deadline.

Hugs!!!!!!



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#3 KAT2015

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Posted 02 September 2014 - 06:48 PM

Ok breathe.... It will be ok.

So is the problem that there are still some that are committed to coming but don't want to commit before your deadline in "3" days? If so, let them know ASAP that the hotel appears to be sold out and that if they truly want to be there for you and FI, they really need to booking using your TA ASAP.

If you truly think that you will not hit your room commitment how much will the penalty be?

Who left are your "absolute must be there" people... I would seriously write them a heartfelt email or call them simply reiterate your thoughts- that without them there you don't know if you can go through with the wedding and you hope they can book before your deadline.

Hugs!!!!!!



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Unfortunately no.  The two friends trying to have a baby won't book because they don't know what is going to happen.  The other isn't booking due to finances. 

 

The FI aunt and uncle have tons of money and don't seem to be that interested so they won't be bothered to book now.  My aunt is the one who's son is having a baby.

 

Come to think of it we had another 2 invites for our Canadian friends go out - neither one of those couples have even bothered to acknowledge the invite at this time.

 

I don't know what the amount will be for each person that wants to book if we don't have a group rate - I am betting about $200 per person which won't be manageable for my singles coming from Calgary (that'll take them to 2300 each).


Edited by KAT2015, 02 September 2014 - 06:49 PM.


#4 kmk2016

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Posted 02 September 2014 - 06:50 PM

Unfortunately no. The two friends trying to have a baby won't book because they don't know what is going to happen. The other isn't booking due to finances.

The FI aunt and uncle have tons of money and don't seem to be that interested so they won't be bothered to book now. My aunt is the one who's son is having a baby.

Come to think of it we had another 2 invites for our Canadian friends go out - neither one of those couples have even bothered to acknowledge the invite at this time.



So if these people don't come.... Will it ruin your day? It sounds like you have amazing family travelling all the way from UK, and what about your parents? Sounds like your brother will come through with a little push no?

I really hope this works out for you!!! If the price goes up because they didn't book in time to get the group pricing- their loss. Can your TA confirm that it's in sold out status?



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#5 KAT2015

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Posted 02 September 2014 - 06:55 PM

So if these people don't come.... Will it ruin your day? It sounds like you have amazing family travelling all the way from UK, and what about your parents? Sounds like your brother will come through with a little push no?

I really hope this works out for you!!! If the price goes up because they didn't book in time to get the group pricing- their loss. Can your TA confirm that it's in sold out status?



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Not ruin my day.  But my mum, her fiance, my sister and a good friend of mine from Ontario are all strapped financially. If we don't get the group deal then it is likely they can't afford to come.  The family from the Uk is my FIs, I don't know them.

 

My brother may eventually book, but not by the deadline.  He was recently very cruel to me and threatened not to come - I'm not going to beg him to book.

 

Aside from them, I have a friend and her husband, and another friend here that will likely still come.  But I can't get married without my best 3 girlfriends and my mum and sister. 

 

I just never wanted a wedding with only a couple family members - I want to celebrate and have fun like i have at all my friends weddings.  Not just have a wedding and a normal old vacation. I don't know if that makes sense...?

 

Our whole group will lose this pricing if I don't have 10 rooms. It isn't about people losing it if they don't book - if we don't meet the minimum rooms, we have no deal.


Edited by KAT2015, 02 September 2014 - 06:58 PM.


#6 kmk2016

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Posted 02 September 2014 - 06:59 PM

Ahhhhhhh I am sooooo sorry you are dealing with this stress!!!!!! Will WestJet allow for an extension? Sometimes if your TA has a good relationship with their travel department they will honor that type of thing... But it sounds like if your BFFs aren't coming because of trying for babies etc then that may not even matter. (If you truly can't see yourself marrying if they aren't there)


Oh hun.... I wish there was something I could suggest!! Maybe check on your resort page for other brides marrying around same time who can use 3 rooms?

If it's truly sold out, other brides may be in a panic for rooms



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Edited by kmk2016, 02 September 2014 - 07:00 PM.


#7 KAT2015

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Posted 02 September 2014 - 07:01 PM

Ahhhhhhh I am sooooo sorry you are dealing with this stress!!!!!! Will WestJet allow for an extension? Sometimes if your TA has a good relationship with their travel department they will honor that type of thing... But it sounds like if your BFFs aren't coming because of trying for babies etc then that may not even matter. (If you truly can't see yourself marrying if they aren't there)


Oh hun.... I wish there was something I could suggest!! Maybe check on your resort page for other brides marrying around same time who can use 3 rooms?

If it's truly sold out, other brides may be in a panic for rooms



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Maybe I'll give that a try.



#8 TinkerSofi

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Posted 02 September 2014 - 07:21 PM

is it too late to change resorts? I know it's not ideal and it sucks, but it might be an option. It won't change that your friends want to have a baby and they won't come but maybe it will make it a bit easier to afford it for those that want to come. I know many people are 100% settled with their resort and they wouldn't consider anything else but if your guests are more important than the place itself it might be an idea. 

 

Also, maybe call the friends that didn't acknowledge the invitation. Two of our guests hadn't said anything either until we called them to remind them about the deadline. It turns out their invitation never arrived or they hadn't seen it. One of them is still not sure if he's coming but the other one is, so you never know. 



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#9 TammyWright

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Posted 03 September 2014 - 07:05 AM

Kat, how did you block the rooms? Through an agent?  Directly with the resort?  

 

Have you thought about asking if they will honor for the 7 rooms?  I know in the past AMResorts has honored the group rate for 6 rooms.  It is not a guarantee that they will do it and is up to the resorts discretion on whether or not they agree BUT there is no harm in asking.

 

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#10 Mrsktobe

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Posted 03 September 2014 - 07:35 AM

Can you switch tour agents to air transat or such? or switch resorts? That's so sh*tty that this is happening to you, you think certain people want to be there for you and then they completely shit the bed on it, which is a disappointing feeling. *hugs*

 

I would try and see if they will honor the pricing. It's worth a try. Or seeing if you can switch resorts or even extend the deadline a bit.






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