This week has felt like a total turning point for me. Just ten days ago, I was feeling gloomy and gluttonous, . I was working so hard at controlling my diet, but had only managed to budge 2 or 3 pounds in a month. Of the 6 stone I’d set out to lose! I knew that diet isn’t the only key- I needed to be moving my lumpy legs but I didn’t know how! For someone as hopelessly unathletic as I am, it’s very hard to break a lifetime’s habits. And the habits aren’t just physical- they’re mental. They go rally deep. Every chocolate bar is another way of communicating to myself that I’m not worthy. Every minute off the couch instead of up and happy and active is a way of saying that I don’t deserve to be healthy and value myself.
I knew I needed a change, but I didn’t know how to make it.
So many people in this community, as well as friends and family, have helped me, encouraged me and pointed me in the right direction. I really can’t thank you enough. It was here that I found the courage to take the leap and value myself enough to try a personal trainer.
It was the BEST THING I’ve ever done for myself (other than cutting an ill-conceived mullet) . Meghan (that’s my lovely trainer’s name) understood completely where I was and what I needed. She didn’t let me wallow, or say negative things about myself- I realise now how much I’ve been bullying myself! Skype sessions at home meant that I didn’t have to step too quickly out of my safe space, and I was able to talk through and address my targets in a way that felt comfortable. Challenging, definitely, but still comfortable.
We chatted about my goals, and got to work on them right away. The package I’ve gone for is specifically for brides to be in my situation, so Meghan could help me out right away with targeting the areas I need to (esp. arms and backfat!). But it feels like it’s so much more than that- than just making a few tweaks- it feels like I’m taking charge of the way I feel about myself. Being positive and assertive.
If any of you are feeling nervous about taking the leap I would definitely say GO FOR IT!