Not Choosing Bridal Party Attire- Am I Crazy?

[Jenny2014]

Hello Everyone,

 

My FI and I decided way before we even got engaged that we wouldn't be having a "traditional" wedding. We knew we wanted a destination wedding, but we also knew we didn't want to have a specified bridal party attire. I am only have a MOH and a bridesmaid, and he is having two or three of his guys stand up with him.

 

I seem to be driving my friends crazy, as I am not choosing the dresses for them to wear. I have told them they can wear whatever they would like, preferably something they know they will wear again/ already own. I don't care about the colour/ design/ length/ etc. I just want them to be happy and comfortable with what they are wearing. I want their personalities to shine through.

 

They both keeping assuring me that it is okay for me to tell them what to wear, and ask me repeatedly what my colours are going to be. I simply showed them what I am thinking of doing for my own flowers, but told them that I will adjust their flowers to match what they are wearing, not necessarily to match mine.

 

Am I crazy? Is this completely different from what most brides do? They keep calling me the opposite of a bridezilla... but yet somehow it still seems as if I am just as bad. Granted, we have a ton of time before the wedding (still over a year and a half), but is this really so different?

 

Thanks for your help ladies!

 

Jenny

[Mufin1785]

Originally Posted by Jenny2014 

 

Hello Everyone,

 

My FI and I decided way before we even got engaged that we wouldn't be having a "traditional" wedding. We knew we wanted a destination wedding, but we also knew we didn't want to have a specified bridal party attire. I am only have a MOH and a bridesmaid, and he is having two or three of his guys stand up with him.

 

I seem to be driving my friends crazy, as I am not choosing the dresses for them to wear. I have told them they can wear whatever they would like, preferably something they know they will wear again/ already own. I don't care about the colour/ design/ length/ etc. I just want them to be happy and comfortable with what they are wearing. I want their personalities to shine through.

 

They both keeping assuring me that it is okay for me to tell them what to wear, and ask me repeatedly what my colours are going to be. I simply showed them what I am thinking of doing for my own flowers, but told them that I will adjust their flowers to match what they are wearing, not necessarily to match mine.

 

Am I crazy? Is this completely different from what most brides do? They keep calling me the opposite of a bridezilla... but yet somehow it still seems as if I am just as bad. Granted, we have a ton of time before the wedding (still over a year and a half), but is this really so different?

 

Thanks for your help ladies!

 

Jenny

I think that they are concerned about your pictures and do not want to disappoint you with their choice.  I think if you gave them at least a color then they would be more at ease.  but this is not unheard of many brides tell their bridesmaids to pick a style of dress that they are most comfortable in. 

[shan0487]

I agree- at least pick one or two colors to give them a vision/ direction to go with.  Then they can choose their own style.  I went to David's Bridal- picked out a color "horizon blue" and told them to pick a short dress- it worked out great and they all looked amazing!!

 

[Jenny2014]

Originally Posted by Mufin1785 

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jenny2014 

 

Hello Everyone,

 

My FI and I decided way before we even got engaged that we wouldn't be having a "traditional" wedding. We knew we wanted a destination wedding, but we also knew we didn't want to have a specified bridal party attire. I am only have a MOH and a bridesmaid, and he is having two or three of his guys stand up with him.

 

I seem to be driving my friends crazy, as I am not choosing the dresses for them to wear. I have told them they can wear whatever they would like, preferably something they know they will wear again/ already own. I don't care about the colour/ design/ length/ etc. I just want them to be happy and comfortable with what they are wearing. I want their personalities to shine through.

 

They both keeping assuring me that it is okay for me to tell them what to wear, and ask me repeatedly what my colours are going to be. I simply showed them what I am thinking of doing for my own flowers, but told them that I will adjust their flowers to match what they are wearing, not necessarily to match mine.

 

Am I crazy? Is this completely different from what most brides do? They keep calling me the opposite of a bridezilla... but yet somehow it still seems as if I am just as bad. Granted, we have a ton of time before the wedding (still over a year and a half), but is this really so different?

 

Thanks for your help ladies!

 

Jenny

I think that they are concerned about your pictures and do not want to disappoint you with their choice.  I think if you gave them at least a color then they would be more at ease.  but this is not unheard of many brides tell their bridesmaids to pick a style of dress that they are most comfortable in. 

 

I guess I just don't see how their dress choice would ruin my pictures? I will always know who stood next to me, I don't need them to be easily identified because they are wearing the same dress. I don't know, I guess my vision of my wedding pictures is a lot different than the traditional pictures. I just want us having fun. I would never be disappointed with their choices, because I know it reflects who they are.

 

I don't know hahaha, I think I am crazy. I can't completely articulate what my vision is- but it's certainly not matching or the expected.

[Jenny2014]

Originally Posted by shan0487 

 

I agree- at least pick one or two colors to give them a vision/ direction to go with.  Then they can choose their own style.  I went to David's Bridal- picked out a color "horizon blue" and told them to pick a short dress- it worked out great and they all looked amazing!!

 

 

See, that is very beautiful. Very elegant and classic.

 

But not what I have in mind. I don't want them to look identical or even remotely similar. The two girls I have picked are vastly different people, and I want who they are to shine through in what they are wearing. (not as an insult to your beautiful ladies or your wedding at all!)

 

I absolutely see the vision of choosing a colour or two, and allowing them to pick anything from that. Maybe I will change my mind and do that, if I feel they are really struggling. But both of them have a way better fashion sense than I do, so I am counting on that from them. I know neither of them will come dressed inappropriately.

[shan0487]

Thank you.  I don't consider that an insult at all.  It is your day and you get to do whatever you want!!

 

I doubt they will dress inappropriately as I'm sure they've attended if not been in other weddings.  And if they have better fashion sense then you then def let them do what they want! But I know if I was in there shoes I would at least want to know a color or two and go from there just to have something to go off of.  Otherwise it can be quite overwhelming just picking a dress.  Are these girls friends?  Maybe they will cooralate with each other anyways and you will have nothing to worry about!

 

Keep us posted with what they decide I'm sure it will be wonderful!

Originally Posted by Jenny2014 

 

See, that is very beautiful. Very elegant and classic.

 

But not what I have in mind. I don't want them to look identical or even remotely similar. The two girls I have picked are vastly different people, and I want who they are to shine through in what they are wearing. (not as an insult to your beautiful ladies or your wedding at all!)

 

I absolutely see the vision of choosing a colour or two, and allowing them to pick anything from that. Maybe I will change my mind and do that, if I feel they are really struggling. But both of them have a way better fashion sense than I do, so I am counting on that from them. I know neither of them will come dressed inappropriately.

[Jenny2014]

Originally Posted by shan0487 

 

Thank you.  I don't consider that an insult at all.  It is your day and you get to do whatever you want!!

 

I doubt they will dress inappropriately as I'm sure they've attended if not been in other weddings.  And if they have better fashion sense then you then def let them do what they want! But I know if I was in there shoes I would at least want to know a color or two and go from there just to have something to go off of.  Otherwise it can be quite overwhelming just picking a dress.  Are these girls friends?  Maybe they will cooralate with each other anyways and you will have nothing to worry about!

 

Keep us posted with what they decide I'm sure it will be wonderful!

Okay good! Your wedding looked stunning!

 

Oh they have been in other weddings, and one of them just got married herself in August. Oh they definitely have a much better fashion sense then me, hence why I wouldn't ever want to tell someone what to wear hahaha. They both seem to want to base their dress off of the flowers I have chosen. However, I was talking with Kandis (bridesmaid) and she said "ooohhhh, grey would look nice too...." so she seems to have started to embrace the fact that she can choose whatever she wants. Elisha (MOH) knows it is still very far away and doesn't seem to be that keen on looking for a dress now (which I completely understand). I showed her the dress Kandis had found that she liked, but I knew it wasn't the style/type of dress she would ever consider wearing.

 

They aren't friends, unfortunately. They have met a couple of times throughout the years and hung out in a large group situation during University. They both seem to be correlating anyways- just with me as the go between. Oh well, that is fine with me. I just want them to be happy, comfortable and to have a good time.

 

I will keep you updated- though I am sure it will be more like in a year haha. I cannot believe I still have soooooo long to wait!

[shan0487]

Thanks so much! It was amazing and the best week of our lives!

 

Glad to hear- I'm sure they will find something amazing and it will look great!! What color flowers are you planning on going with?! Well as long as they get along that is all that matters!  I had 6 bridesmaids and 2 attendants and aside from my sister all the girls were friends so that worked out well!

 

Oh believe me time will fly by and your big day will be here before you know it! Enjoy the journey- it is fun and will be all over in the blink of an eye!

Originally Posted by Jenny2014 

Okay good! Your wedding looked stunning!

 

Oh they have been in other weddings, and one of them just got married herself in August. Oh they definitely have a much better fashion sense then me, hence why I wouldn't ever want to tell someone what to wear hahaha. They both seem to want to base their dress off of the flowers I have chosen. However, I was talking with Kandis (bridesmaid) and she said "ooohhhh, grey would look nice too...." so she seems to have started to embrace the fact that she can choose whatever she wants. Elisha (MOH) knows it is still very far away and doesn't seem to be that keen on looking for a dress now (which I completely understand). I showed her the dress Kandis had found that she liked, but I knew it wasn't the style/type of dress she would ever consider wearing.

 

They aren't friends, unfortunately. They have met a couple of times throughout the years and hung out in a large group situation during University. They both seem to be correlating anyways- just with me as the go between. Oh well, that is fine with me. I just want them to be happy, comfortable and to have a good time.

 

I will keep you updated- though I am sure it will be more like in a year haha. I cannot believe I still have soooooo long to wait!

[Jenny2014]

Originally Posted by shan0487 

 

Thanks so much! It was amazing and the best week of our lives!

 

Glad to hear- I'm sure they will find something amazing and it will look great!! What color flowers are you planning on going with?! Well as long as they get along that is all that matters!  I had 6 bridesmaids and 2 attendants and aside from my sister all the girls were friends so that worked out well!

 

Oh believe me time will fly by and your big day will be here before you know it! Enjoy the journey- it is fun and will be all over in the blink of an eye!

 

I am sure it was the best week of your lives! You look so happy in your picture!

 

I have always loved, loved, loved blue orchids.

I would love, LOVE to have a full bouquet of blue orchids, but I know that would cost me my first child and grandchild, so I leaning more towards

 

blue orchids and calla lily's. Simple, with just the pop of colour. And I will have a flower in my hair as well.

 

 

Oh I know time will fly by! We have already been engaged 5 months. How, I don't have a clue. But it's getting down to the serious okay we have to send out STD's, put our deposit down. Heck, we have to finalize our guest list first off. Ugh. Yeah. hahaha. I know I will be plenty, plenty busy.

[shan0487]

oh those are gorgeous!! Purple or grey would look amazing with those flowers! I would have done purple but my MOH's bridesmaid dresses were purple so I wanted to do something different. 

 

You have plenty of time to figure it all out girl- just make a checklist and check them off one at a time.  We got engaged Christmas 2011, picked a date at the end of Jan 2012 and sent out our Save the dates and our wedding was Nov 23, 2012.  It was nice because our guests had about a month- the end of Feb to put down there $50 deposit for the hotel so by March I knew who was going! We did have 2 couples cancel in May when the flight deposit was due and then had another couple book in August but I was glad I didn't have to hound my guests for months to book!

Originally Posted by Jenny2014 

 

I am sure it was the best week of your lives! You look so happy in your picture!

 

I have always loved, loved, loved blue orchids.

I would love, LOVE to have a full bouquet of blue orchids, but I know that would cost me my first child and grandchild, so I leaning more towards

 

blue orchids and calla lily's. Simple, with just the pop of colour. And I will have a flower in my hair as well.

 

 

Oh I know time will fly by! We have already been engaged 5 months. How, I don't have a clue. But it's getting down to the serious okay we have to send out STD's, put our deposit down. Heck, we have to finalize our guest list first off. Ugh. Yeah. hahaha. I know I will be plenty, plenty busy.