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Any other 2014 brides here getting an early start?


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#711 brownsugarbride

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    Posted 23 May 2013 - 07:46 AM

    I have the same struggle as you do.  I'd like to invite everyone to my destination wedding, but we simply can't host everyone and come out of this sans debt.  Yet, I'd still love to have an at home reception to celebrate with some of my loved ones.  It's so tough---and good practice for making decisions as a married couple! (My hubby-to-be could care less and simply wants to spend as little as possible!) 

    I also live in a condominium downtown. One nice thing about it is that they have a community room, which is a good place to host informal affairs. Another option I've been thinking about is an ethnic restaurant (e.g. Chinese).  I met one such restaurant rep at a local bridal show, and I think they could be a really cost-effective option. Some Asian restaurants have really swank, modern decor that would make a great backdrop for an at-home reception too! 



    #712 Jenny2014

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      Posted 23 May 2013 - 08:34 AM

      Originally Posted by MrsShoreytobe 

      Quote:
      Originally Posted by brownsugarbride 

       

      Caveat: The following is a personal opinion.  I think different people have to do what works for them, but I personally dislike the idea of people paying to celebrate my wedding with me. I would rather work my budget to host an AHR that I can afford (hors d'oeuvres, backyard BBQ) rather than doing a sit down dinner and asking people to pay for it---especially when they will likely bring a gift, regardless of whether there is a registry. 

      Yes for sure, and I hadn't thought of this restaurant idea before now - it's just been a bunch of random ideas floating around in my head! I understand that perspective no doubt, and doubt that my fiance would want people to have to pay for dinner as well. 

       

      If we had a backyard where we could host one that would be idea, but we are in a condo downtown; I imagine we will do apps only (like I mentioned before), but even music, rent space, etc may add up. Anyways, I know we just need to talk about it and see how we can work something out. I appreciate having this dialogue with other brides/brides to be! 

       

      For us, deciding to do a big AHR was the only way we could avoid having the same fights over and over again with my parents. Even still, we get the tears and the guilt about not inviting family and focusing more on friends. I am sorry, yes, family will be with us forever, yada, yada, but our friends have been the same friends to us since grade 9, and some of them even earlier. To us, that IS a lifelong commitment, and they have been actively involved in our relationship, unlike both of our entire extended families, who haven't given a beeping beep about us.

       

      So in order to avoid this discussion over and over again, we agreed to helping foot the bill for a big AHR, though not all on us. We are fotting the bill for the wedding, and will add a bit to the AHR, but that's on the parents to pay for. And it still has to be all decisions are made by us, or there is not AHR at all. I would LOVE to just do a backyard bbq or something, but because it will be in late October, that isn't a possibility. :(



      #713 brownsugarbride

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        Posted 23 May 2013 - 09:05 AM

        Originally Posted by Jenny2014 

         

        For us, deciding to do a big AHR was the only way we could avoid having the same fights over and over again with my parents. Even still, we get the tears and the guilt about not inviting family and focusing more on friends. I am sorry, yes, family will be with us forever, yada, yada, but our friends have been the same friends to us since grade 9, and some of them even earlier. To us, that IS a lifelong commitment, and they have been actively involved in our relationship, unlike both of our entire extended families, who haven't given a beeping beep about us.

         

        So in order to avoid this discussion over and over again, we agreed to helping foot the bill for a big AHR, though not all on us. We are fotting the bill for the wedding, and will add a bit to the AHR, but that's on the parents to pay for. And it still has to be all decisions are made by us, or there is not AHR at all. I would LOVE to just do a backyard bbq or something, but because it will be in late October, that isn't a possibility. :(

         

        :(  I'm glad you put your foot down and demanded that things be done YOUR way. 



        #714 ma329

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        Posted 23 May 2013 - 11:53 AM

        Thank you!!!! I will be contacting her as soon as I get home from work. I will definitely share with you on my findings.

        #715 ma329

        ma329
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        Posted 23 May 2013 - 11:57 AM

        Thank you so much!!!! I will definitely contact her when I get home from work tonight. I'll update you as soon as I receive details from her. Thanks a ton!

        #716 ma329

        ma329
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        Posted 23 May 2013 - 12:01 PM

        EXACTLY!!! I don't want to worry about any of that stuff.

        Yea I do not want to deal with my family or others and money issues! That's another headache in itself!

        #717 ma329

        ma329
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        • Wedding Location:Sint Maarten

        Posted 23 May 2013 - 12:05 PM

        A good TA makes all the difference! I am a TA and I have one because I don't want to deal with the monetary side as it relates to my family, I avoid family politics. :-)

        I agree!!!! Money and family are sensitive topics!

        #718 MissJali

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          Posted 24 May 2013 - 06:42 AM

          Hi Girls! My semester is finally over and I'm back until September!!!!!! What are you guys working on? I'll be trying to get the invites out by the end of June. I've decided that using a travel agent is probably more trouble than it's worth. Most of my family are serial travelers anyway so they know how to get to DR. 



          #719 moodyc82

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          • Wedding Location:Punta Cana, DR
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          Posted 24 May 2013 - 07:00 AM

          Originally Posted by MissJali 

          Hi Girls! My semester is finally over and I'm back until September!!!!!! What are you guys working on? I'll be trying to get the invites out by the end of June. I've decided that using a travel agent is probably more trouble than it's worth. Most of my family are serial travelers anyway so they know how to get to DR. 

          Woohoo!! I'm working out figuring out how to ship my save the dates....they're glass message in a bottle one :) and that's about it LOL. I'm using a TA b/c my family and friends will ask a million questions and it's just easier this way and I get some great kickbacks.



          #720 MissJali

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            Posted 24 May 2013 - 07:09 AM

            Originally Posted by moodyc82 

            Woohoo!! I'm working out figuring out how to ship my save the dates....they're glass message in a bottle one :) and that's about it LOL. I'm using a TA b/c my family and friends will ask a million questions and it's just easier this way and I get some great kickbacks.

            With my family, once I told everyone how I haven't had great luck on finding reasonable rates through travel agents, they were like "nevermind, just send out the invites with all the info, we all know how to get there!!!" As far as shipping the save the dates, have you tried this site? http://www.sandartsupplies.com/StoreBox/message_bottles/box.htm

            I would only ship those to people who live too far and try to hand deliver as many as you can as shipping can be expensive!






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