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Kate G

Any Destination Brides Been Made to Feel Like Villains?

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Hi guys -

 

My name is Kate and I am new to the boards. I am having my wedding in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico at Dreams Resort next May. I wanted to start a thread to see if anyone out there can relate to what I have been going through planning my wedding. Here is a little about my story...

 

My fiance and I currently live in Arizona (my immediate family and I moved here when I was in high school). I am originally from New Jersey and my fiance is from Rhode Island. He lived in Chicago before moving to Arizona to be with me. As you can see just from that description, we have family and friends spread out all over, including Pennsylvania, Oregon, Missouri, and Texas (to name a few other spots). So obviously, no matter where we chose to have our wedding we would be requiring the guests to do some travel - as I'm sure most people have to do in today's world! So what did we decide to do? A destination wedding! It seemed logical...everyone is going to have to travel in some capacity so why not have one big fun vacation for everyone where we will actually have activities and things to do. Seems obvious to me, as well as the fact that doing it this way saves US a lot of money (not saying it will necessarily be cheaper for the guests but this is our wedding and we want to be able to get the most bang for our buck). 

So why am I writing this...well...since the word has started to get out across family members about where we are having our wedding, there has definitely been some hostility. The concerns?

 

a). Money for the guests to travel and stay at the hotel (which again doesn't hold up as a valid argument since people would be traveling regardless)

B). Mexico. Oooo so dangerous! Excuse my sarcasm. Yes I am aware of what has been going on in Mexico, but I would not be planning a wedding in an area where I was worried about my guests and family being kidnapped and beheaded. As one family member mentioned "I would no more travel to the middle east than Mexico." ...okay...

 

I believe those are the two main concerns. So what is really igniting me to write this is because I had an exchange with a particular family member that I would have loved to be there who basically said in an email to my mother that it is obviously more important to me to get married on a beach in Mexico than have as much family there as possible. Wow. I want everyone we are inviting to be there, but this day is about me and my fiance in the end, you know? It is just hurtful to me to think that now some people that we are inviting are going to be somehow taking this as a slap in the face to THEM that we are having such an "inconvenient wedding." I am sorry I can't have my wedding in every guests' back yard, but that just is not realistic. And now I'm left feeling kinda crappy.

 

So brides! Please tell me I'm not alone here...anyone else going through anything similar they would like to commiserate about?

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I feel your pain! Most people have been really great, but a few people just can't except the idea of paying to attend my wedding. One of those being my own mother! Constant complaining that she can't afford to go, and she doesn't want to leave her dog at a kennel.... Blah, blah, blah! Long story short, my moms not coming and I'm kinda glad she's not because she would make the whole week miserable for everyone, especially me. She's just one of those people that would complain about everything... It's too hot, the food sucks, etc.

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You're definitely not alone!  I got some of the same comments.  My grandmother said I was doing the DW so I could exclude people and my brother complained about the time of year being inconvenient for him and his wife.  Other family members have complained as well and we've definitely gotten the too dangerous remarks (as if you wouldn't research that before taking all your closest friends and family there?!)  Bottom line, it's going to happen, there will always be complaints, but you can't let yourself get caught up in it.  There's no point in fighting with anyone about it and you definitely shouldn't let it damper your special day.  Puerto Vallarta will be awesome! 

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Been there heard that!  Congrats on choosing PV!  I too was the villan for choosing to go so far away, no one could afford it, blah, blah, blah!  In the end those that went had THE BEST time ever and raved about it when they got back!  Hold on cause it's not going to be any easier.  You will be defending your choice till the day you get married but just think that this is about you and your special once in a lifetime day.  As long as they've been given enough time to plan and save for the trip, they have nothing to complain about!  Enjoy your wedding day.  Once they get to PV they will love it!

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It truly is aweful the comments that come out of peoples (specifically CLOSE family) when it comes to destination weddings esp in Mexico. I got all those comments in the beginning and I just started telling people we would love to have you there, but if you don't then its not going to make us change our minds! People forget that this is your day, and they make it all about themselves. But don't sweat that stuff..it will get easier and your wedding day will be everything you could have ever wanted and more! This website has been one of the best things to help me in my wedding planning..its a place to vent, share ideas and see that everyone else is having the same problems as you!  grouphug.gif

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Thank you Celina! That is what I have to keep in mind...that this wedding will be a great time for the people that are there and it will be that much more special having the people there that really WANT to come!

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Originally Posted by KCDawn View Post

 

You're definitely not alone!  I got some of the same comments.  My grandmother said I was doing the DW so I could exclude people and my brother complained about the time of year being inconvenient for him and his wife.  Other family members have complained as well and we've definitely gotten the too dangerous remarks (as if you wouldn't research that before taking all your closest friends and family there?!)  Bottom line, it's going to happen, there will always be complaints, but you can't let yourself get caught up in it.  There's no point in fighting with anyone about it and you definitely shouldn't let it damper your special day.  Puerto Vallarta will be awesome! 

It is so terrible how people try to make you feel :( Thank you for the advice!!

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