So we've been engaged for about a year and a half. I started out very angry with the situation but now with about 4 weeks to go I'm just so dissapointed that my FI's brother could treat him the way he has through out our engagement.
His brother and his wife had their first child when they were still teenagers. She was 16 he was 18. They got married and had 2 more kids. They've had a tough life and stuggled but have kept they're family strong and are still very much in love. I give them tremendous kuddos for that but ever sicne we got engaged the way I see them has changed greatly.
When we first decided we wanted to go away we wanted to make sure our closest family members could attened because we could not imagine them there without us. His brother inparticular. He assured us him and his wife would be there for sure but their 3 kids were up in the air. Of course my fi wanted his neices and nephew there but knowing they don't have a lot of money was happy that his brother could come.
Everyone booked their vacation and then with like 2-3 weeks before the payment deadline his brother informed us that him and his wife couldn't afford to go anymore. We were obviously sad they couldn't come but since everything had been booked and paid for it was too late and we would just have to deal with it...we knew everyone couldnt be there on our day, we just didnt expect it to be his brother.
We weren't planning on having a Stag & Doe (fundrasing event for your wedding with games, prizes, dancing etc) but his brother and wife insisted on throwing one for us since they couldnt come to the wedding anymore and they wanted to celebrate with us. We reluclenty agreed but when they wanted to throw the party over an hour away from the majority of our family and friends and we said we would only do it if we got to pick a location convient for everyone. They said ok only to back down later saying that we were trying to plan it ourselves without caring about what they wanted and we should just do it ourselves then, leaving us with the whole bill to pay. In the end I'm glad we did it...but still it was a huuuge expensive we weren't ready for at all.
My two best friends surprised me and took me to Vegas for my bacholorette party, so now my MOH has just planned a small get together at her house for a mini party for those who didnt make it to vegas. I wanted my fi to have something big though because I knew he was upset he didn't get anything big so his Best Man is taking him to Niagra Falls. We live in Toronto so it's only 45 minutes away keep in mind, but still a fun place to go. I told my fi brother about it because it's a surprise and he said he's not interested in going because it's too close to Christmas and the money is tight.
I told my fiance to give him the heads up that his brother wouldn't be there and he was so upset, but again...if he doesn't have the money he doesn't have the money.
Did we not just find out they bought a dog for Christmas...I don't know how much dogs are but they aren't cheap! They are also planning a mini getaway or something for the 2 of them with hotels and dinners and what not.
I mean it's one thing after another and they don't seem to care at all that they are hurting him and it makes me not want to be around them. We live pretty far away from each other and only see each other a few times a year but with Christmas so close we will probably see them before the wedding and I just don't know if I can hold my tounge any longer about the way they've just tossed him aside. I've told my fiance I think he should just go without me this year because I truly do not want to see them after everything that's happend over the past year.
I just feel so hopeless about the whole situation and worry I'll never look at them the same ever again.