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Invited couple breaks up - save the dates out, but not invitations

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11 replies to this topic

#1 beaz2be

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  • 256 posts

    Posted 18 October 2010 - 03:40 PM

    Hi Ladies,


    I've never posted in the etiquette forum but I have a situation/question that I would love some advice on.


    We sent out our save the dates this past June for our wedding in May, 2011.  Since that time one couple, whom we invited as a couple, have split up.  The interesting issue with this as well is that we only became friends with this couple recently, through another mutual friend, and they live on the east coast (we're on the west) so we don't really see either of them very often.  However, we did become somewhat closer with one part of the couple, as she is the good friend of our mutual friend.


    We really enjoy both of these people and I'm just wondering how/what to do.  Do we invite them both separately and let them know they are each welcome to bring a guest and let them know as well that they have both been invited, so as not to be surprised by the other and make their decision accordingly?  (This is what I'm inclined to do).


    The one who is friends with our mutual friend may likely come as a single, with the mutual friend - so I don't want that to create an awkwardness either.... Should I ask the mutual friend for her opinion?


    Any thoughts would be appreciated.  I have a feeling that they both won't come anyways, but I just want to know what other people would do in this circumstance.  Thanks!

    #2 beaz2be

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    • 256 posts

      Posted 18 October 2010 - 03:42 PM

      I just realized I should have put "Invited couple" in the thread title.  Sorry if that misled any of you!

      #3 beaz2be

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        Posted 18 October 2010 - 03:44 PM

        ooh fixed it - hahaha  sorry.  New to creating threads of my own.

        #4 karyan

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        • 184 posts

          Posted 20 October 2010 - 03:40 AM

          I understand what you mean, we are inviting an on again/off again couple that I wasn't sure if I invited them as a couple vs individually. We know one half first (through mutual friends) but keep in touch with the other half more socially. 


          In your sitch, I would suggest you still invite both of them (the polite thing to do as the STD was addressed to both of them) but allow them the opportunity to decline gracefully (which is what it sounds like they may do). They can work it out themselves if they do want to come with or without guests (as long as they give you enough notice!)

          #5 beaz2be

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          • 256 posts

            Posted 20 October 2010 - 08:58 AM

            Thanks for the input Karyan. I really appreciate it and I think that's definitely the right thing to do.  :-)

            #6 josietoms

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              Posted 20 October 2010 - 10:54 AM

              Ditto - I think as the STD has gone out send them each an individual invite - its likely one of them will not attend ie; the one you are not as close to.  They can then make their own decision to come or not and you dont look like the bad person x

              Josie x

              #7 Aumuller

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              • 365 posts

                Posted 20 October 2010 - 10:56 AM

                I would definitely still send them invites seperately. The person who you aren't so close to anymore will likely back down and it won't be awkward.

                #8 alundy

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                  Posted 20 October 2010 - 03:44 PM

                  I would send separate invites, and hopefully the less-close half of the couple just won't come to avoid the awkwardness...

                  #9 beaz2be

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                  • 256 posts

                    Posted 21 October 2010 - 03:46 PM

                    Thank you everyone for your input.  It really has set my mind at ease that I'm going to do the right thing on this one!

                    #10 chell44

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                    • 202 posts

                      Posted 22 November 2010 - 09:29 PM

                      I would send them both invites

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