Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
DarcyJAde

In a tough spot- do I fire a bridesmaid?

Recommended Posts

Well, as someone who's been on both sides of this situation (as the "fired" BM and replacement for a "fired" BM) sometimes it's a HUGE relief to the BM in question to be let off the hook. When I was the fired BM, I was extraordinarily relieved that I didn't have to do it. Our friendship disintegrated to the point we no longer spoke (for reasons completely unrelated to the wedding) and honestly I was dreading it and obviously so was she. She just approached me one day and asked me if I still wanted to be in her wedding because we hadn't been talking in the last few months and she had another close friend she'd like to stand up with her. I told her I thought that was a great idea and that was that.

 

When I was the replacement, the situation was similar. The bride had a huge falling out with a lifelong friend that couldn't be repaired. I think that conversation might have been a bit more difficult than mine was, but in the end the bride had an entirely supportive wedding party and considerably less stress that day and since the friendship was essentially over at that point, I don't think the fired BM was overly upset about the situation either. They had already ordered the dresses, but the shop was able to cancel the order for the fired BM and get one in my size at no additional charge.

 

Just something to think about from her point of view. Obviously, you would have to have another difficult discussion with her, but it might be worth it in the long run however it turns out.

 

Good luck and I hope it all works out so that you are stress free and absolutely blissful on your wedding day!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I went through a similar experience as your friend. I had a best friend of many years, we were roomates and did everything together. As soon as she got a boyfriend, we stopped hanging out completely, the only time I would see her would be at our apartment with him there. I completely understand what it feels like to be in love and in the honeymoon stage but I really felt like our friendship got "dumped".

Saying this, however, I do not agree with how she has acted towards you. I did talk to my friend and let her know that her actions hurt me and asked if perhaps he didn't HAVE to stay at our house EVERY night... while she didn't understand it then...she was able to later on. Sometimes (unfortunately) people need their own time to see how they are acting...and realize the consiquences for their behaviour. I didn't realize it either ... but I wasn't being very supportive of my friends happiness and that I wasn't being a good friend either!

So I guess my advice would be to be the bigger person (as you have been doing) and keep her as your bridesmaid. Let her know that her friendship has always been important to you and that's exactly why you wanted her to share your day with you. And all you can do is try to include her on some one on one activities that maybe you used to share together or maybe offer to help her on a study session?? If she is still being rude...then leave her be... and focus on marrying your man...and the fun everyone else (including yourself..LOL) will be having on your big day!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  


  • Best Destination Wedding Sponsors



    Facebook Pinterest Google+ Twitter
  • Posts

    • Planning to get married? Let’s discover some great wedding venues in Bangalore. The increasing demand for the wedding venues in Bangalore makes it very difficult for both the bride’s and groom’s family to get hold of a marriage hall that is suitable for the marriage. As they say, marriages have to be organized in a grand fashion. The atmosphere and the ambiance of a wedding make it memorable for a lifetime. Though there are a plenty of wedding venues in Bangalore, there is only a handful of them that are really good, Offering the best possible experience.  Some of the most popular wedding venues in Bangalore are: THE TAMARIND TREE: Tamarind Tree has the old world charm. This is one of the best wedding venues in Bangalore that boast about its eco-friendly surrounding. Built in the middle of a few acres of garden filled with lush greenery and trees, which also includes the tamarind tree after which it was named, a pond, a stage for the band, classic looking pavilions for the guests to sit, and a lot of spaces around the area. The premise has two large kitchens with a very special fully stocked bar and a lot of space where the guests can dine comfortably. The place can accommodate up to 1000 guests. Customer Reviews : Address: 88, Kanakapura road, Anjanapura post, Avalahalli, Royal Park residency layout 2, 9th phase. JP Nagar, Bangalore 560062 THE COURTYARD HOUSE: The courtyard house is located off Sarjapur Road, the premise is a unique and unconventional property suited for various events, namely weddings. The outdoor space of courtyard house draws in people looking to get away from the traffic and noise in the city, well within the city limits. The green grass and tall trees make for great photographic backdrops making it popular for wedding events. Customer Reviews : Address: Janatha Colony, Gunjur Palya, Bengaluru 560087 RITZ-CARLTON:   The Ritz-Carlton has over 277 spacious rooms and suites and is one of the most luxurious hotels in Bangalore. Seven luxurious restaurants, the Ritz-Carlton spa, and tastefully appointed meeting spaces make it ideal to host marriage occasions. Customer Reviews : Address: 99, Residency Road, Shanthala Nagar, Ashok Nagar, Bengaluru 560025 BALAN FARM CONVENTION CENTER: Balan farm is a green, wooded island of peace and serenity nestled quietly in the busy rapidly developing JP Nagar. Neighboring the Brigade Millenium Apartments and L&T South city it spreads across two acres of an old orchard retaining the ancient fruit-bearing trees and landscaped gardens. Balan Farm convention center JP Nagar has over 10,000 sq ft of the tiled canopy without any walls blocking and it makes for a really good view. Customer Reviews : Address: 99/4, Nataraja Layout, JP Nagar 7th Phase, Bengaluru 560078 HYATT MG ROAD: Hyatt a 5 Star hotels in Bangalore is located on MG Road. The guest rooms are colorful with a great view of the city, this makes it an ideal place for private ceremonies with 2300 sq ft of meeting and event space. The Hyatt MG road, Bangalore also has restaurants like the Pink Poppadom, Liquid Lounge, and Bar. Customer Reviews : Address: 1/1, Swami Vivekananda Road, Someshwarpura, Ulsoor, Bengaluru 560008 BUNGALOW 7 Bungalow7 offers a unique setting for a wedding, pre-wedding and post-wedding functions. The place hosts a variety of public and private events all within a stunning heritage setting of central Bangalore. Customer Reviews : Address: 7, Hall Road, Richards Town, Bengaluru 560005 GAYATRI VIHAR MANTAPA: Gayatri Vihar is one of the most luxurious wedding halls situated on Palace ground. It boasts of a massive one lakh sq ft area which can easily accommodate up to 5000 guests. The ambiance of the place makes it ideal for community gatherings and private parties. Customer Reviews : Address: Jayamahal Palace Ground, Bengaluru 560080
    • My best friend is getting married with his long-term girlfriend next month. As a best friend, I want to give them the best present they would ever receive on their special day. I am planning to buy them plane tickets and book them for a one week trip abroad. However, I am torn between Ukraine ski trip and a tour to Lima, Peru. My best friend loves skiing and his future wife is a chef, so I presume she would want to experience a Peruvian taste. Now, I am confused. Which is which? I would appreciate it if you guys will leave a comment to help me out with this. Suggesting a way better idea which will accommodate the two activities for the soon-to-be wedded couple is a big help too. Thanks!    
    • Hello all!! I'm getting married next week. Every arrangement has been done by my sister for my special day. When I joined in an MNC I was troubled with severe headaches and as per my colleague's instruction, I took an appointment in a nearby eye clinic. And after an eye examination in Toronto, the eye specialist diagnosed hypermetropia in me. And the doctor prescribed eyeglasses for me. The doctor suggested me to wear eyeglasses during the working time. But I used to wear it sometimes not every day. Then I was troubled with severe eye strain and headache and mom was scolding me to wear eyeglasses every day. I thought of saying goodbye to eyeglasses forever. I'm planning for a Lasik eye surgery soon before my marriage. I don't know whether I'm eligible for Lasik eye surgery. I'm tensed about its recovery time and its complications. Can someone help me by sharing your views?  
    • In the 2017 bridal fashion week, many styles of wedding dresses were gradually popular. From serious bling to regal capes and fun and flirty short numbers, ByCouturier've got all the hottest wedding dress trends you need to know. Allover Sparkle
      Over-the-top sequins, tonal beading and metallic embellishments turned the Bridal Fashion Week runways into a glittery affair. Perfect for evening nuptials under the stars, this trend is daring but sophisticated. Pro tip: If you're rocking a gown with lots of sparkle, keep your accessories minimal and let your glitzy frock do all the talking.  Bold Ball Gowns
      If you're looking to make a dramatic entrance, a classic ball gown is for you—and we saw plenty of them. Take a cue from long, lace sleeves, or get glam with an embellished strapless bodice. No matter the details, this voluminous style is sure to turn heads.  Captivating Capes
      Not into veils? A full-length bridal cape or shorter capelet is the perfect alternative: It still adds movement to your gown, but feels fashion forward. Plus, this trend is an easy way to pull off a mid-wedding outfit change. Wear a cape or capelet for a more formal look during your ceremony, then whisk it away to hit the dance floor at your reception. Short, Sassy Dresses
      Whether you show off your legs (and a killer pair of heels) in an embellished mini or opt for a more conservative midi-length number, a wedding dress with a flirty hemline is a chic way to mix it up. Not willing to give up your dream ball gown? Change into a shorter frock to spice up your reception or after-party.  Plunging Necklines
      The deep V-neckline is a must-try for two reasons: It flatters your upper body (even if you're busty!) and elongates your frame. A plunging V with scalloped lace is ultra-feminine, while a sleek V plays up the inherently sexy vibe of a curve-skimming silhouette. Just make sure you have fashion tape handy the day of to avoid any wardrobe malfunctions. 
      Skinny Straps
      We love this trend for two reasons: A gown with barely there straps has all of the sex appeal of a strapless neckline, plus added support. We call that a bridal fashion win. 
    • Hello all, 
      I am here to get some suggestions on the best places to go on a honeymoon. I am getting married by the end of next month. 
      I was thinking of Bali or Maldives. But just wanted to know other beautiful and romantic places. The wedding banquet hall is a gift from our parents. The hall they have booked for us is one of the best banquet halls in Vaughan I’ve ever seen... Other arrangements like the videographer, photographer, wedding dress, reception dress are all finalized. The next week we have the pre-wedding shoot. Also, I'll start sending the invitations the same week. So, it is going to be hectic and I don't have time to rest or look for some nice places. So, if anyone here could suggest some places would be a great help. 
      Let me know your suggestions. 
      Thanks in advance! 
  • Topics

×