Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  

In a tough spot- do I fire a bridesmaid?

Recommended Posts

Well, as someone who's been on both sides of this situation (as the "fired" BM and replacement for a "fired" BM) sometimes it's a HUGE relief to the BM in question to be let off the hook. When I was the fired BM, I was extraordinarily relieved that I didn't have to do it. Our friendship disintegrated to the point we no longer spoke (for reasons completely unrelated to the wedding) and honestly I was dreading it and obviously so was she. She just approached me one day and asked me if I still wanted to be in her wedding because we hadn't been talking in the last few months and she had another close friend she'd like to stand up with her. I told her I thought that was a great idea and that was that.


When I was the replacement, the situation was similar. The bride had a huge falling out with a lifelong friend that couldn't be repaired. I think that conversation might have been a bit more difficult than mine was, but in the end the bride had an entirely supportive wedding party and considerably less stress that day and since the friendship was essentially over at that point, I don't think the fired BM was overly upset about the situation either. They had already ordered the dresses, but the shop was able to cancel the order for the fired BM and get one in my size at no additional charge.


Just something to think about from her point of view. Obviously, you would have to have another difficult discussion with her, but it might be worth it in the long run however it turns out.


Good luck and I hope it all works out so that you are stress free and absolutely blissful on your wedding day!!

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

I went through a similar experience as your friend. I had a best friend of many years, we were roomates and did everything together. As soon as she got a boyfriend, we stopped hanging out completely, the only time I would see her would be at our apartment with him there. I completely understand what it feels like to be in love and in the honeymoon stage but I really felt like our friendship got "dumped".

Saying this, however, I do not agree with how she has acted towards you. I did talk to my friend and let her know that her actions hurt me and asked if perhaps he didn't HAVE to stay at our house EVERY night... while she didn't understand it then...she was able to later on. Sometimes (unfortunately) people need their own time to see how they are acting...and realize the consiquences for their behaviour. I didn't realize it either ... but I wasn't being very supportive of my friends happiness and that I wasn't being a good friend either!

So I guess my advice would be to be the bigger person (as you have been doing) and keep her as your bridesmaid. Let her know that her friendship has always been important to you and that's exactly why you wanted her to share your day with you. And all you can do is try to include her on some one on one activities that maybe you used to share together or maybe offer to help her on a study session?? If she is still being rude...then leave her be... and focus on marrying your man...and the fun everyone else (including yourself..LOL) will be having on your big day!

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

  • Best Destination Wedding Sponsors

    Facebook Pinterest Google+ Twitter
  • Posts

    • It’s been years... and I’m now searching for the same in Montego Bay or Negril. Did anyone ever have any luck finding? 
    • Hello, I'm new to this site. I got engaged already and get married by next year. I have some doubts regarding our dating destination. Hope you will help me. Thank You!
    • Hello everyone,
      Well, this upcoming valentine's day is special for me because I got engaged and planning to spend the day with my fiance. I'm planning to give her an ethical jumpsuit.

      Other than that I have been searching the internet for some nice discounted coupons and searched among my friends and found different sites. Now, we are looking forward to that wonderful day. We searched a lot and found out, Escape The City. Orangeville is a great place for a day trip or weekend gateway from Toronto.
      Theatre Orangeville is offering a weekend package that includes 2 tickets to a Live performance at the theatre, Premium Overnight Accommodations at Best Western Plus Orangeville Inn and Suites and $75 Downtown Wine and Dine Voucher which is valid at select Downtown restaurants, and Free Entry to the scenic Trails & Bridges of Island Lake.

      We are so excited and eagerly waiting for that day.
      If anyone has got any other suggestions for the venue, kindly share your thoughts/ideas.
      Thank You!
    • Please tell me, the best wedding venue in Saskatoon, SK.
    • Hey everyone! Like the others here, I'm interested in wedding reception, venue and all related steps & stuff. Starting with my first and the most important note is that we're international couple and we need to think of bilingual wedding. So the first thing we need to think of is whether it will be interpretation or 2 different venue coordinators, sermons and stuff? What is your experience, what could be the best and affordable solution? From googling the issue I've found this Interactio app team ( describing possible solution here  http://blog.interactio.io/case-study-weddings )Basically they offer to hold the venue in the main language, additionally providing simultaneous interpretation online to other quest's mobile phones. Looks like really easy and creative idea. What about the others? How did you solve this kind of obstacle? Any additional advises would be very welcomed here  
  • Topics