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Invitation Dilemma?

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#11 *JillD*

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    Posted 17 May 2007 - 08:11 PM

    I sent them to everyone even if they already said they couldn't come. I sent mine out this week for an october wedding, this was mostly for me so I could get a definite count from the maybe people. I figure by mid july, when I asked for them to be back by, most people should know if they're planning on vacationing with us in october.

    #12 gkashmira

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      Posted 17 May 2007 - 08:38 PM

      Originally Posted by Clussy75
      Good point. Now, that brings another good question though, if they do 'sleep' on this and make reservations too late and end up staying at another resort, it's our responsibility to pay their day pass, isn't it? I mean, ettiquette-wise. I mean, that'd be weird for them to have to pay $100 to get into our wedding, wouldn't it?
      I think you should pay for their day pass. Not everyone will want to stay at an AI and I think it's rude to make people pay to come to your wedding... that's what gifts are for! hee hee hee

      Also I definitely think you need to send invites to people even if they've already told you they are not coming. It shows them that you care about them and think they are a part of your lives.

      Lastly I disagree about sending out your invitations very early. People WILL forget (to RSVP that is) because there are many people who aren't going to know if they can or cannot go until it gets a little closer to the wedding. I think sending them out 3 months before the wedding (basically a month earlier than a normal wedding) is perfect. Otherwise people hesitate committing and in the end, end up forgetting to RSVP at all.
      Kashmira & Dan
      Happily married since June 16, 2007
      Our mini-video: http://www.bajavideo...m/Kash_Dan.html
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      #13 aimee

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        Posted 17 May 2007 - 09:20 PM

        Courtney I thinking sending out your invitations in June or July sounds a bit too early for me. Maybe you should send out a Save the Date Card to your guests first and then your invites sometime in the new year? Just a suggestion.

        #14 CourtneyV

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          Posted 17 May 2007 - 09:26 PM

          Originally Posted by riubride
          Courtney I thinking sending out your invitations in June or July sounds a bit too early for me. Maybe you should send out a Save the Date Card to your guests first and then your invites sometime in the new year? Just a suggestion.
          :) Well, I have already sent out Save the Dates, but thanks! Dreams books up by October (as Tammy has thankfully told me!), so my RSVP will be September 1, giving me time to harass the late RSVPers.

          Honestly, last year I was invited to a wedding that was this March. We got the invites almost a year ahead of time (about 10 months) and I didn't "forget" about the wedding! We basically treated it as a vacation. I personally don't feel comfortable asking guests to fork over a few thousand without giving them all of the information first. So, I'll definately be sending out invitations early. Having said that, I don't plan on leaving it at that. I will be sending my guest's updates etc., so they are aware of the progress. Aaron and I have been engaged for a year now, and have been planning a DW from the beginning, so all of our guests know of the expenses. Maybe our situation is unique, I'm not sure. But I'm not worried about sending out the invitations that early.

          Thanks for your concerns though Kash and Aimee - I appreciate you guys looking out for me!!
          Happily Married since May 9, 2008
          Proud Mama to Evelyn Eileen since June 8, 2010

          #15 MikkiStreak

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            Posted 17 May 2007 - 09:53 PM

            Originally Posted by Clussy75
            ((temporary sigh of relief)) Amen! I mean, since your answer is what I wanted to hear, I'm gonna go with it and regretfully inform guests that if they are not able to book ontime... wait, do I even say "if you don't listen to what we keep trying to relay to you guys, you gon' have pay $100 to come to our party"? How very Bridezilla to say, no? I suppose we just don't mention the day pass in that worst case scenario? I keep tossing this around and believe me, we've sent at least 4 emails so far with Tammy's info, the urgency to book so that we can have our loved ones with us for this big day for us and all that jazz so we're starting to feel like spammers.

            I'm rambling.

            Thank you for the feedback!
            I'd say that after you send out your invites, play it by ear to see the quantity of responses you get. If you're sitting about 2-3 months away from your wedding date and haven't gotten much response back either yea or nay, then send out a newsletter giving them the updated pricing on what rooms are booking for with a reminder they can get a discount through your TA up to a specific date. Then I'd leave it vague and say that once the rates through your TA expire on x date, a day pass to the wedding would cost $100. At that point, they can assume they're paying their own day pass, and for those who throw a fit about paying for a day pass- you could offer to pay theirs...

            #16 dragonfly

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              Posted 18 May 2007 - 12:42 AM

              I'm sorry to not agree but I think it is your responsibility to pay for the day passes for your guests. I don't think you can invite people to your wedding have them travel all that way, and tell them where they have to stay, or it is going cost them money, to attend your wedding. It is not something we would ever do if we were having a wedding at home, and that is so much more convenient, and inexpensive, for you guests then a destination wedding, I do think it would be in poor taste. I believe that as dw brides we must be prepared for this to maybe happen and budget for it. It may mean you have to give up something else that you want, but being a gacious hostess and appreciating how far your guests have come for you, and having them feel that appreciation, is much more important than money.

              #17 starchild



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                Posted 18 May 2007 - 01:14 AM

                Pay it. We spend all this money on OOT bags and such to make them feel welcome so consider this part of their warm welcome. Your guests have already shelled out a considerable amount of money to get there. To then ask them to pay an admission fee to attend the wedding is ridiculous.

                Can you imagine going to a wedding at the Hilton in your city where you get there and they ask you to pay $100 to get inside? As a guest that would completely turn me off. Hey that may be a good way to cut down your guest list....lol.

                It sucks that there is a fee at all but unfortunately that burden is yours since you chose the location. I agree that even if you have to sacrifice something else you should work this into your budget. These resorts must make a killing off of weddings!!

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