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LadyP

Has anyone else..

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been to a psychiatrist or therapist? I have been going through somethings lately and Lawrence says that he will not marry me until I get some help. He has moved out and taken our son with him. No I am not suicidal but I have been dealing with some things that I really should seek help for.

 

Sorry to babble but this seems to stop the tears.

at 21 on my birthday my best friend Grandma died

at 27 I lost my mother

at 29 I lost my daughter

 

so when i should have been doing drugs and have sexual experiences i was dealing with death. I have not done anything for me besides getting my nails done in a long time. So maybe this is the best thing.

 

Wish me luck because my pride will not allow me to contact the therapist

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Sweetie I am really sorry for all your loss. I can't even imagine. But please don't let pride be an issue with getting help. I have never been, but I have heard GREAT things from people that thought they would never see a therapist. People have completely changed their lives and found happiness they didn't know before. Don't completely cross it off your list. Maybe go to an appt and see how you feel about it then. You are so strong and I know you can get through this. It is not a sign of weakness to get help.

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i know i just dont want someone to tell me what i should be able to figure out about my life

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I think sometimes it helps to just talk to someone who has no ties to your personal life. Just as you said that telling us what is going on is helping to stop the tears - maybe talking through what you are going through with someone will help clarify your life for you.

 

I'm so sorry for your losses, I wish you luck in everything.

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Sometimes, it just helps to talk to someone. I know when I have trouble figuring out what to do or how to do it just saying stuff out loud helps. So, if you have someone that isn't emotionally involved and can give you advice that is not one sided. I am sure you have said this to your son before " you should always try something before you judge it" If nothing else try it for your Son. You never know, it could be something that can be worked through rather easy and you can have your life back.

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I haven't been to a therapist in a few years, but the point isn't for you to go to them and them tell you what to do. In fact, I bet they aren't ALLOWED to come right out and tell you what to do. It's a place to talk about your life and your desicions, a place of reflection. Sometimes, just verbally saying out loud what you keep inside, gives you some insight on how to handle a situation.

 

I think you should swallow your pride and call a therapist immediately. If one on one is too much for you, you should look into group counseling.

 

On a personal note, I also think that you should move on from your relationship with Lawrence. I've been on the board for a loooong time now and it seems that he is nothing but demanding of you and always giving you rules and stipulations on when he will marry you. I think going to a therapist would probably make you see that you deserve a better relationship then that.

 

I am so sorry for the losses that you have experiences in your lifetime, but it's time to live YOUR life. You have a beautiful son that needs you to be healthy.

smile03.gif

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Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyP View Post
i know i just dont want someone to tell me what i should be able to figure out about my life
I too am sorry to hear about what you're going through.
As a family counselor, know that a good therapist/counselor won't make you feel any less because you are seeking help. Also, they will not tell you that you should have your life figured out. Rather, they are there to "help" you figure out how to improve your life! KWIM?

Sometimes its good to just talk about your life & things that have happened with someone who is there to listen and is unbiased & non-judgemental.

I agree with Kat & think you should definitely try it, at least once or twice. And definitely don't let pride get in your way. I think we all need help in some aspect of our lives, at some point, the only difference is in who we get it from like family/friends. Sometimes a professional is the best alternative. I wish you lots of luck!hug2.gif

Oh, I had an afterthought. You need to go because "YOU" want to. You can't go because "he" thinks its best for you. If you don't do it for yourself, because you think you need it or want it, I don't think it will benefit you!

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don't look at it as someone telling you how to "fix" your life. look at it as someone guiding you in you figuring out your own life. they can look at it from an outside perspective and see things that you might miss. and they can help you figure out what you might already know!

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don't look at it as someone telling you how to "fix" your life. look at it as someone guiding you in you figuring out your own life. they can look at it from an outside perspective and see things that you might miss. and they can help you figure out what you might already know!

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my relationship with lawrence right now is not my issue and yes he is demanding and with all of this i found out why he has been so brutally honest and demanding as you call it but it has all been my perceptions of things and when my best friend sat with us i found that we hear what we want but that demand is a i have got to get better. We have been friends for a long time and he knows me better than anyone besides my mother.

 

But my issue is not him.

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