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Our Crazy Meeting and Engagement

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We placed our meeting story on our website - my fiancee wrote his version, and I wrote my own version independently. Here they are (a bit long, hopefully you are somewhere comfortable...).


His Version


For the purposes of this website (and my “self preservation†?), I wonâ€t share my dating follies prior to meeting M. Most of the details are irrelevant other than to say that our story begins with Shaneâ€s prediction that I would meet my future wife in Arizona. Had I known that Shane had been in the fortune telling business I would have heeded his advice much sooner…


…I hate dating. Absolutely hate it. In the words of Chris Rock, ‘you donâ€t date someone when you first meet. You date their “agentâ€. Itâ€s weeks before you even meet the real person.†This was not the case when I met M on an online dating site in May 2005. She had posted a beautiful picture of herself, and after reading her bio, I knew I had to meet her. I wrote her the longest email I had ever written, my life history, my dreams, my fears, my passion for all things, and she responded with a brief response.


This continued…


I would write, and she would reel me in with a brief response. And then one day, it ended. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. She fell off the face of the earth. The last thing I remember telling M was that I would at least like to show her around Arizona (as friends).




So, the fall season rolls around, and I decide to scrap the whole online dating thing. I had met my lifetime quota of psychopathological women, and decided I would become a monk in the Himalayas. I was clearing out my dating “inbox†and I came across M's profile for the last time. I wrote her one last email.


“M, I imagine that youâ€re in Arizona by now. I hope the move went well. I really enjoyed our conversations [i wanted to add, “as brief as they wereâ€] and I hope that we might meet sometime now that youâ€re in town. Iâ€m closing out my account, so my contact info…..blah blah blah……and maybe we can in person. If not, take care and I wish you the best.â€


I liked the last part the best. “If not, take care and I wish you the bestâ€â€¦â€¦it was my way of saying, “if not, you should feel terrible that you never contacted me when you got into town like you said you wouldâ€. I got a call the next day, and I didnâ€t even know what to say. She told me she was dating some guy. Great.


I suggested that we meet for ice cream later that night at Cold Stone Creamery in downtown Tempe. I somehow felt like it was a date even though it wasnâ€t a date. I parked and as I was walking to Cold Stone, I got a call from M that she had just parked. Then I saw her across the street on the phone. I waved over my head like I was trying to land a plane. As M started to cross the street I fell in love with her, and I knew she was the one. Yes, I realize that this potentially puts me in the stalker category, but I just knew she was the one. My future wife.


After exchanging an awkward hug, we walked to get some ice cream. I tried to play it cool, but the most random things kept coming out of my mouth. We finally got to Cold Stone and she initially ordered a cheesecake ice cream, only to find out that her favorite flavor “birthday re-mix†was back on the menu. I offered to eat her cheesecake order so that she could eat her birthday ice cream thingy.


This is the part of the story that, for lack of a better descriptor, sucks.


So we carry our ice cream prizes over to the outdoor seating area in front of Starbucks and talked about our lives and our families. I had to remind myself not to be psycho and tell her that I think sheâ€s great and that we are going to get married one day. Instead, mid “this-is-not-a-date-conversation†I made my first mistake. I asked M if she found me attractive. I needed that little glimmer of hope despite the fact that she was dating some other guy. I held my breath.


“No. Iâ€m sorry.â€




So I chalked my future wife up to be just a friend, but somehow or another we got engaged.


[[M says that Iâ€m writing too much so sheâ€ll tell the rest of the story]]


The end.



Her Version


I met C...well, technically we met via an online dating service in the summer of 2005. I knew I would be moving to Phoenix, so to start meeting people, I put a page in that zip code, and C wrote to me. We emailed back and forth about things we had in common, such as our love for music, my upcoming laser eye surgery, and other important things I'm sure. We didn't technically meet in person until November of that year...and when we did, I wasn't too sure that I wanted to be much more than a friend to C. The first indication of his character should have been a bigger sign than it was at the time, but I was a little slow on the uptake. C was willing to eat the ice cream concoction that I ordered at Cold Stone (Berry Cheesecake) because I didn't realize right away that they brought back my favorite ice cream (Cake Batter Ice Cream!) - so I ordered my favorite and was able to enjoy it without too much guilt.


Sign #1: and I missed it.


We got together a few more times as friends, and on Thanksgiving C came over later in the evening and surprised me with a gift for my then-new-puppy, Chloe (he was working at a gourmet dog treat company at the time). Chloe also tried desperately to give me a huge sign that C was the one I should be dating...he walked in the door, knelt down on the floor to say hello to her, and much to my surprise, she ran toward him and leaped into his lap like she had known him for years. She never reacted to anyone else this way.


Sign #2: again, I missed it.


A few weeks later, I flew back to participate in a graduation ceremony for my Ph.D.. C kindly took me (and Chloe) to the airport, and gave me a friendly hug goodbye. After arriving, driving the 2 hours my school, and wandering randomly around Walmart for a bit...it hit me. I should be dating C. Crap. I might have already screwed it up. So I called him immediately and let him know what I was thinking. We talked every day that I was away, and actually planned a trip to Sedona, AZ (see the pic) for the week after I returned as kind of a testing ground, just to see if we really were compatible. By the end of that trip, I was about 99.8% certain that I didn't need to worry about looking any further for someone who would love me better than anyone ever could.


Sign #3: I finally got it!


Chloe still gives me that haughty look at times...

"Duh, I knew it all along."


Then, on a cold cold December day in 2007, C and I drove the very long 17 hours to my hometown through snow, wind, and ice to be with my family for Christmas. We arrived exhausted and delerious, and little to my knowledge, C had quietly taken my mother aside to ask her permission to marry me (my father is deceased). She was walking around the house all crazy-like, with tears in her eyes, but it didn't seem too abnormal because we do not get to see her very often and she gets misty more as she gets older. So we finally went to bed, and at 6:59am the next morning I felt someone staring at me. I rolled over to find C on his knee next to the bed with a piece of paper. As he started reading, I had no idea what was happening, and could barely make out what he was saying (delerium will do that). Finally, after he pulled out a white box and something sparkly caught my eye, I realized what was happening - and of course I said yes! Only later did I discover that he videotaped the whole thing at the foot of the bed...so now, my horribly stinky morning self is forever memorexed into history looking confused and bewildered.

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